The Simulacrum

I had many a colourful expletive on the tip of my tongue, wondering if I truly was this exasperating, or if I was playing some 5D reverse-psychological chess move on myself for some reason. Maybe it was supposed to make me have one of those self-reflective epiphanies. But wait… I already had a few of those because of future-me, and since he's future-me, he should know that I already started reflecting on my behaviour, so… What the heck, me?

Sadly (or maybe fortunately), I never got to voice any of my misgivings, because we never stopped walking, and we were soon in front of the cell tucked away at the most isolated depths of the dungeon. It was… peculiar, to say the least.

"Hi, little guy!" future-me greeted the occupant of the cell with a toothy grin, and he grinned back at him without a hint of apprehension.

But before discussing the child, let's go on a tangent and look over the room behind the bars, because it sure as hell wasn't a prison cell. While the stone walls were pretty much the same as everywhere else down here, they were partially covered with colourful posters. I couldn’t recognize any of the cartoon characters on them, but they were definitely from children's shows, and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

In the corner, there was an honest-to-goodness race-car bed, the kind you would see in the kids' bedroom of an old family-friendly sitcom, complete with a matching nightstand with a teddy-bear-shaped novelty lamp sitting on it. In front of the bed sat a large wooden box with 'TOYS' written on the front using large, colourful letters, and the floor was completely covered in large, space-themed rugs. There was one shaped like Saturn, with the rings included, while a little further back there was a different one depicting a cartoon cowboy riding a pointy retro rocket.

Then, in the corner, there was an old CRT television with a VHS player under it, paused on a key-frame of some anime fight scene, and… wait, how does this place have electricity? On second thought, the teddy-lamp on the nightstand was also working, so I should've asked this earlier, but… how? And why? And… wait, was that an electric heater in the other corner? On second thought, this part of the dungeon did feel a bit balmier than the rest, but why would there be…?

"Uncle Antonio? Who's that?"

Scratch that. Let's ignore the room after all, and focus on the child instead.

First off, he was clearly a pre-schooler. By eye, I would've said he was about five- or six-years old tops, and he was wearing a fluffy grey housecoat… or was it a bathrobe? One or the other. Under that, he had striped blue pyjamas on him, and although he was stuck at the bottom of a nasty medieval dungeon, his short blueish-black hair was perfectly combed and his cheeks were unexpectedly chubby.

More importantly, he was staring at me with palpable apprehension, right until future-me reached out a tousled his hair through the bars.

"He's a friend. He came to say hi."

"Erm… Yes. Hi," I greeted him a touch awkwardly, and after a long beat, the child let out a soft giggle.

"He's funny."

"He is, isn't he?" future-me doubled down and rubbed his head one more time.

"Is he the head of house Ashur?" I asked, trying my best to stay professional.

"Yes. Éolienne Serua Ashur, in the flesh," future me introduced him with a small flourish, and then added, "I call him Ollie for short."

They both looked at me expectantly, and I realized that this was the point where I was supposed to introduce myself… except I was drawing a blank. How was I supposed to do that? I couldn't even ask future-me about it, because he didn't have his mask on, and I didn't have my Leoformer turned on either, so we couldn't communicate through the enchantments. I locked eyes with him, looking for a clue, but he just shrugged as if saying 'Just do whatever'.

"I'm… Polemos," I blurted out, and the kid remained completely unfazed, which… on second thought, shouldn't have been so surprising. He was kept in Crowy's custody since the fall of House Ashur, and he was a child on top of that, so he probably never heard about me. Heck, until very recently, the whole Archon thing was obscure enough that even Crowy's cronies were stumped by it the first time around Which was in the cheeky message I left for him after accidentally poisoning him, if my memory served right.

"Good evening, Mister Polemos," the child… Should I go with Ollie as well? Let's go with it. So, Ollie greeted me back and turned back to future-me. "Uncle Antonio? Is he the friend who will take me home?"

"In the future, yes. For now, we're just here for a visit."

"Aw…" He sounded genuinely disappointed, but it only lasted for a second before he bounced back. "Then, did you bring me sweets?"

"Oh, you little scamp!" Future-me chuckled and produced a baggie of gummy bears from his breast pocket. However, just as Ollie was about to snatch it out of his hand, he pulled it back and wagged his finger at him. "Before that though, weren't you supposed to be in bed at this hour?"

"But… But it's at the best part…!" the little boy whined and pointed at the frozen TV screen in the corner.

"No buts," future-me said, but then a beat later he handed him the gummy bears anyway. "Finish the episode, and then go to sleep, okay?"

"Okay!" Ollie beamed at him and hid the plastic baggie in the folds of his housecoat, as if afraid that it would be snatched back from him.

"Now, scram, you little troublemaker." Future-me made a few shooing motions, and added, "I'll come back to check on you, and if you aren't asleep by then…"

"I'll be good!" the boy exclaimed between giggles and scampered back in front of the television, only stopping long enough to turn around and wave goodbye.

"Bye, Mister Polemas!"

"It's Polemos, but…" I shook my head and waved back. "Never mind. Bye, Ollie."

With that done, future-me subtly gestured for me to follow after him, and we silently walked back to the same stairwell he pointed out to me beforehand. We didn't go up though, but as soon as we were out of both sight and earshot, we stopped and turned to face each other, as if we rehearsed for it ahead of time.

"So he's the kid Crowy wanted to marry to Snowy after getting rid of his entire family."

"Yep."

"And he's also the kid that Tracas wants dead."

"Double yep."

I remained silent for a while as I ruminated on the situation and ultimately concluded it with a soft hum.

"Huh. You were right. If you weren't here, I probably would've Phased him home in the heat of the moment."

"Probably?"

"Definitely."

We both nodded in mutual understanding, followed by another short spell of silence.

"But wait… You knew to be here to stop me because a future-future-me was there to stop you, but then who stopped him? Isn't that a para—"

"Oh, stop it," future-me griped and lightly hit my shoulder with the back of his fist. "Stop thinking of this as just a time loop, and consider it from the perspective of a retcon. During the span of the retcon, things can't happen in a way that would cause a time paradox, because it would affect me in the future and cause all kinds of infinite regression problems. The Simulacrum hates that, so anything like that would be shut down immediately. The fact that this works and we're talking here is the proof that there's no paradox involved."

"I… okay, I can run with that, but…" Future-me's expression was getting increasingly impatient, so I inhaled deeply, held it in for a second, and then forcefully exhaled to clear my head. "You're right. Let's just presume that once I get to the retcon-point, I'll understand what's what, so let's ignore the timey-wimey bullcrap and focus on the non-timey-wimey bullcrap instead." I paused again and levelled a flat stare at my future self. "For example, why the notes you gave me said nothing about this entire situation with the Abyssal houses and this Ollie kid."

He immediately responded with a nonchalant, "Spoilers." I was just about to roll my eyes at him, but he beat me to the punch by adding, "It's kind of necessary to keep you in the dark about a few things, because your genuine reactions are required to keep things on track. It's all because of this Free Actor thing."

"Sure. And I still don't know what it means."

"Because you haven't talked about it with The Girl yet. Be patient."

All of a sudden, an odd realization reared its ugly head in my mind, and I hurriedly raised a palm.

"… Wait, I just thought of something. The Emergents exist outside of the Simulacrum, and they perceive time differently from us, so… if you already talked with The Girl about this in the future, then if I tried to do the same, wouldn't it be just repeating the same conversation from her perspective."

"Nah, you don't get it." Future-me crossed his arms and flashed a smirk. "We are all tied to this continuity now. They just haven't realized it yet."

"How does that even work?"

"Idunno. I'm planning to ask the Crowned Coalescence as soon as this retcon is over. Let's hope we get a coherent answer."

"Those are in a short supply as of late," I grumbled, two fingers already on my temple. "Fine. Let's ignore that too. Can you at least tell me what the actual plan is with this kid and the Abyss and Crowy and everything?"

To my shock and surprise, future-me responded with an upbeat "Sure!", throwing me on a loop for a long second.

"Really?"

"Yeah. We'll need to start working together a bit more closely anyway. Ask away."

"Oookay…" This sudden shift still felt a little suspicious, but I put my apprehensions aside for the moment and asked the first thing that came to mind. "For a start, what's with the kid's cell?"

"Oh, that? I've been looking after him pretty much since the start of the retcon."

"As 'Uncle Antonio'?"

"Yes."

"A phantom thief."

"Indeed."

"What are you even stealing in the Abyss?"

"People, mostly." He paused meaningfully and then gave me a smirk. "Don't worry. You'll get it in time."

The straightforwardness of his answer made me feel like I was the weird one for even asking, but I shook off the mind-games and pushed on.

"Whatever. So, you smuggled all of those furniture and toys and electronics, and…"

"And extension cords. Looots of extension cords."

"Yes, that too, I guess… And nobody noticed?"

"Oh, a few people are in on it. Ollie has a few official caretakers who bring him food and whatnot, but I used my infamy as Bel to make sure they don't tell anyone about it."

"And nobody else comes down here?"

"Nope. It's because of those things." He casually pointed at one of the purple runic magic circles embedded into the ceiling of a nearby empty chamber which, unlike Ollie's, actually looked like a prison cell. "You already noticed it the way down here, but this place dampens magic."

"Yeah, I did."

"It's because this whole dungeon is built under the Mana Well," future-me explained matter-of-factly. "It draws in mana and redistributes it across the Abyss to maintain it, and it creates a… I guess it's kind of like a syphon effect? The point is, all the mana being drawn in by it drags all other forms of mana with it, which disrupts magic and enchantments. The deeper you go, the more pronounced the effect, and those magic circles are used to further focus it."

"So this is a dedicated anti-magic prison," I concluded, and future-me nodded along.

"Precisely. Because of that, it's a great place for locking up people like, say, members of other Noble Houses or powerful enemies of the Abyss, but you won't see Crowy ever come down here, because it also disables his powers and it would make him vulnerable."

"Meaning he only sends down servants, I get it." I gestured at the empty cells. "But where are all the other prisoners of war? I didn't see anyone on the top layer, and there's nobody down here at the bottom either."

"Oh, that's because I stole them," future-me stated smugly, but before I could get him to elaborate, he clapped, and it made me focus on him again. "Anyhow, you wanted to know the plan, right?"

"Yeah. It would help if we were on the same page," I admitted, and he nodded along at once.

"Indeed it would. After this point, we'll have to put on quite the charade, so it's best we're clear on the script and stage directions."

"You took the words right out of my mouth. So? Where do we start?"

"For a start…" Future-me echoed me and tapped on his chin. "I guess we have to be clear on the primary goal of the scheme: we cannot be the ones to resolve the plot."

"Obviously. It's supposed to be done by Josh."

"And Angie. Also, technically everyone's involved in this."

"Everyone?" I blurted out, and he firmly nodded. "Even the class rep?"

"Especially the class rep," he insisted, making me squint at him.

The childhood friend couple getting involved made sense, because this was their 'route', so to speak. Snowy getting involved would also make sense, because this concerned the Abyss and her brother, while Penny kind of already shoe-horned herself into the cast by joining the training arc, but the class rep?

"Doesn't she have her own sub-plot already?"

"She does, and that also needs to be resolved, but she's also intrinsically linked to the finale."

"… Would you care to elaborate."

"I can't. That one's a spoiler."

I would've thrown my hands into the air in indignation at any other time, but I held back and only exhaled a soft groan.

"Got it. Back to the main topic: how are we going to resolve this?"

"First off, we're going to take advantage of the ploy of the Abyssal houses, and use it to invoke that trope."

"… Which trope?"

"Oh, you know the one," future-me grunted dismissively. "You're thinking of it right now. The one where the big good of a shounen story is taken off the stage in order to raise the stakes and force the protagonist to up their game. That one."

"And how are we going to…?" I started, only to pause and look at the magic circle on the ceiling of the cell next to us. "Ah, right. We can use this as a plot device, but… there's just one problem. How are we going to justify everyone coming here?"

"We use Deus," future-me stated blandly. "If they want to come to the Abyss, literally nobody in the Elysium will dare to stop them, and they'll move heaven and earth to 'rescue' us. At that point, Josh will naturally come with her to protect her, and since those two are going, others will want to tag along. The rest will work out naturally."

"And why would I need rescuing…?" I started, but then I realized I already knew the answer. "We're going to put up another show?"

"Yep! The good-ol' 'the big good falls into a trap and it's up to the hero to help them' gambit!"

This time, I didn't hold back and rolled my eyes with all the gravitas that response deserved.

"Let's say that's the rudimentary plan. Then what?"

"Then we'll set the stage to have a big epic battle of big epic proportions. Setup, rising action, midpoint setback, darkest hour, and then climax and resolution. The whole three-act pie in one big serving."

"And you're not telling me the details because it would be a spoiler," I guessed, but future-me shook his head.

"Nah, it's not that. We'll need to discuss this a whole lot in the future, so there's no point trying to lay out everything in one go here. It would just make things redundant later. Also…" He mimed pointing at his nonexistent wristwatch. "It's getting really freaking late now, and you really don't want to keep Judy waiting."

"Why would she even be waiting…?" I started, but then I realized I was about to argue about the future with someone from the future, so I wisely shut up. "Point taken. When do we discuss the details then?"

"Don't worry. I'll find you when the time is right. Now then, you should go home, and I should go and tuck in the kid." Future-me let out a wistful chuckle and shook his head. "Seriously, if I don't do that, he would stay up all night watching retro anime."

"How retro are we talking about?"

"Cosmo-boy retro."

"That's… very retro indeed." We both nodded, as if we just had a profound exchange, and future-me turned on his heel and walked away, waving over his head all the way.

I let out a shallow breath and closed my eyes, and lo and behold, Judy really was still awake and waiting for me in front of my PC. Without further ado, I Phased home, and as soon as I materialized in the room, she turned around in my swivel chair and gave me a deadpan look.

"Chief. Do you realize what time it is right now?"

"Sorry, got sidetracked," I apologized on autopilot and leaned over her to take a look at the monitor. "Are you browsing the Hub?"

"Yes. I'm trying to scrounge up every morsel of information available on the Tracas and the…" Her words trailed off and she gave me a few overt sniffs. "Chief? Why do you smell like cigars and brandy?"

"… You could seriously smell that?" I blurted out, half-impressed and half-mortified, and tried to give myself a sniff, yet I still couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. "I wasn't even wearing these clothes back there…"

Judy was still looking at me intently, so I quickly stopped resisting and recounted the events of my scouting mission, including the parts in the pub-salon-whatever place and my meeting with future-me. She listened to me without a word, and once I reached the end of my tale, she fully turned around in her seat and folded her arms.

"So you're now conspiring with yourself to put yourself in prison."

"That's a crass simplification, but not entirely wrong," I admitted, and she let out a soft huff.

"I'm not telling you that you shouldn't trust your future self, but maybe you should show a bit more initiative, because right now, it's starting to feel like you're yanking your own chains. From the future."

"Hey, I'm not exactly super-comfortable with this either, but if I'm going to be going out of my way to retcon myself into the past to fix things, I must will have to know what I'm doing, so I should try to make my life easier in the future by not messing with my future in the present."

"… Chief? Did I mention how I find time travel confusing?"

"Today? Not yet, no."

I flashed a smile, and while it didn't fully chase away the storm clouds on her brows, she ultimately let out a shallow breath and turned back to the PC.

"In any case, this means that the Ashur House's head is safe and secure, so we don't need to rush things." She typed a few keywords into the search field on the site and added, "You should still keep an eye on him through Far Sight. From what I gathered, Tracas is not the patient type, so he might try sending other assassins after him if we take too long."

"Nah. Future-me would've told me about that, and…" My words trailed off as I suddenly realized something and clicked my tongue.

"Is there a problem?" my dear assistant inquired without looking away from the screen, so I hastily excused myself.

"No, nothing. Don't mind me."

I might've said that, but I only just realized that I completely forgot to mark the kid while I was in the dungeon. In my defence, I was distracted by future-me, and… Wait. Maybe he distracted me and pulled me away on purpose to make sure I wouldn't mark him. But if so, why? Couldn't he just tell me not to do it? What even was the point of sneakily manipulating me like that when…

"Wow… I really am playing some 5D reverse-psychological chess moves on myself on purpose, aren't I…?"