Local Netizen Elf’s Life In Another World

Case 336: Bread and the great lewd comments crisis.

Once again, I am a firm believer in the converging cultural aspect of the Internet. No matter which world we're considering, somewhere, at some point, a similar kind of culture will be formed.

''Ugh...''

But... does it have to be this?

As I scroll through the comment section of my newly published bread-baking video, I can't help but feel a sense of incongruity. For context, the content of this piece is totally normal. I didn't wear an inappropriate outfit, nor did I say something outrageous. I didn't even talk loudly.

All in all, it is just an ordinary tutorial on how to make bread properly by an elf. 

And how are the netizens responding to it?

Okay, first of all, it is quite well-received. Very few dislikes.

...But the comments are wild. Half of them are something along the lines of [I can't focus on the bread...], and others are just variations of them admitting their total attraction toward my appearance and joking about it. Some say they want to marry me, some say they 'suddenly' want to join a religion.

Oh, and there are also those who actually read and question my channel name, too.

I mean, I appreciate the love they're showing, but should I be concerned that only a handful of them are not distracted enough to find the tutorial useful?

''Didn't that goddess... what was her name... right, Athena. Didn't Athena tell you that a deity's charms couldn't be stopped by these means of separation?''

Liana, who's watching the comments closely beside me, speaks up.

''No, but...''

''The top comment is literally [Clicked for the bread, stayed for the elf.].''

''...''

It seems I have underestimated myself. Even though I made sure to cover everything up to the neck and wore an apron on top, it was still not enough.

Should I show up in full armor next?

''It's because you boobs are too big.''

''Shut up.''

Like the annoying gremlin she is, Liana latches onto me and starts to fondle my chest, throwing any regard for her leftover dignity out of the window. The level of whining she lets out when I push her away is seriously incredible.

''Hah...''

Eventually, I cave in and allow the idiot to relish in my cleavage. It's not all that bad, honestly, and she's my owner in name anyway.

''But how often do you plan to release videos?''

''Hm?''

I've thought about that, actually. For now, since we're just starting out, one video every three or four days seems good enough, but once my viewership has stabilized, one every week should be balanced.

It's not like my content is fleshed-out and truly high-quality or anything. I think I can handle this much as long as I consider it work.

''...''

Filming videos, having sex, and making bombs every now and then... my schedule suddenly feels like holidays. Maybe thanks to that, I've been getting some good resting hours in recently.

Let's hope this plays out for a bit more...

Sticking to my initial plan, I released a few more cooking videos over the following week or two.

The reception was largely the same, but my followers have increased significantly ever since. My subscriber count now sits at a comfortable fifteen thousand, which, considering the smaller user base, is quite impressive.

Well, the algorithm is rigged in my favor anyway, so that isn't surprising.

Now, it's time for another upload, and I've decided to take a break from the cooking stuff. That is why I am standing in the dusty shooting range inside Eva's alternative dimension.

''Hi.''

First, I wave hello to the camera.

''It's quite a nice day outside, so I'd reckoned we should have a change of pace,'' I remark, posing a smile. ''Have you ever imagined a dangerous scenario in which you and your loved ones are threatened? Knowing how to defend yourself in such situations is important.''

With telekinesis, I hold up several types of pistols in the air,

''In this segment, I will teach you how to do that by utilizing these weapons. These are 'handguns,' which will soon be commercialized and sold at a limited rate across our continent. Of course, they are lethal weapons, so you will have to pass strict safety tests to get your hands on them.''

The decision to commercialize handguns came with a lot of debate recently. For obvious reasons, doing this means bringing a risk to society as a whole. If we don't enforce strict rules regarding their usage, problems will arise. They will, regardless.

Still, when the rates of monsters manifesting rapidly inflates, something has to be done. In this case, the world leaders have decided to release handguns exclusively—that's all.

In the worst case, we can still retrieve them. That's where a goddess like Eva can prove her power.

Nonetheless, since this video is meant to be an introduction to civilian firearms, I make sure to explain and demonstrate clearly what the guns' features are and, of course, fire them for some satisfaction.

That said, it's just the Glock and some other standard handguns, so it's nothing special.

''Phew...''

Though, I can't help but sigh in relief when reviewing the footage. My boobs didn't jiggle... as much.

Man, I applied a certain degree of telekinesis to them, but I was worried they might look too unnatural. It's a bit ambiguous now... I guess I can just zoom into the gun instead.

Some time after publishing that video, I encounter some familiar faces at the border. Of course, everybody steals a glance at me in one way or another, but they're the only ones initiating a conversation.

''Greetings, Your Holiness.''

''...Hey.''

Adele Camila and Camellia. 

What a mouthful sentence to say, but this is an unusual combination.

''Good day to you two,'' I reply, feeling a little fancy. ''How is everything going?''

Camellia has been doing what she's supposed to do lately, but I plan to have her join the staff team with Luna and Dina soon. As for Adele...

''It's been really comfortable thanks to you.'' 

''Hm? Me?''

Bringing her hand close to her chest, Adele smiles, ''If not for the weapons you have provided, we would have had a much more difficult time cleaning up the monsters.''

Ah, the guns. It's not really me, though.

''Oh, talking about the weapons,'' Camellia interjects. ''What was that video you suddenly uploaded...? I was surprised when you pulled out those guns.''

''Well? Who said my channel was a cooking channel?'' I shrug. ''More importantly, I didn't expect our hateful little Camellia to watch my content.''

''W-Wait, that's—''

''Thank you for your support~! As expected of my first believer.''

''Argh...! You!''

While Camellia is freaking out, Adele approaches me with a puzzled look on her face.

''A believer? Are you establishing a religion?'' She asks.

''Something like that, I guess.''

''I see...''

Seemingly lost in her thoughts for a few moments, Adele then returns to normal and whisks the angry bee away, but not before saying goodbye to me respecfully.

If only everybody were as polite as her.

Now then, what kind of videos should I make next...