The Simulacrum

As much as I would've liked to sit down and ponder the chain of events that led me to this very moment, the golems surrounding me had other plans. There were eight in total, counting the two that lost one arm each, and all of them had subtly different proportions. One at the edge of the group followed after Ambrose, so I figured they were automatically engaging the closest target, which left me with seven of them.

Those were some dicey odds on paper, but I wasn't exactly shaking in my boots for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, this wasn't be the first time I faced off against multiple giant humanoid enemies seemingly made of stone, and compared to the Colossi of the Celestials… Where should I even begin?

No Barriers, no wards, no armour or weapons, unable to adapt to the opponent's tactics, and vulnerable to my brand of magical disruption. Also, considerably less aesthetically pleasing to the eye. These things were pretty much the One-Jen-Store version of the Colossi, which meant… Wait. Were those marble statue guys in fact quite impressive?

Maybe my girlfriends were right. Maybe my view on the power levels of this world was indeed hopelessly and irrevocably twisted beyond repair.

Anyhow, because of the distinct gap in quality compared to the last time I was in a similar situation, I couldn't feel much tension. If anything, I was more worried about how Ambrose was doing. Sure, he was an arch-mage, and one of the more combat-oriented ones to boot, but this was our opponents' home turf, and… Hold on. Why were we fighting these guys again?

"Graaaah!"

Oh, right. Because the home defence system wasn't available for a reasonable discussion.

Even without my danger sense warning me ahead of time, the one-handed golem's roar would've given me enough of a heads-up to get out of the way of its haymaker punch. Yet, as soon as I came to a halt, another warning clawed at the back of my head, and I had to duck under the backhand swing of a sneakier (as if that concept applied to these things) golem. The rest were also closing in, and though there wasn't much teamwork between them, they were still freaking big, with lots of reach to limit my movements.

Even so, this wouldn't have even counted as a dangerous situation on my scale (Judy's scale was a different matter, but what she didn't know about couldn't hurt her) under normal circumstances. Except I was putting limitations on my Phasing, had to be careful with my phantom limbs accidentally triggering mini-retcons, and…

"Hey, answer me already! You're making this awkward!"

Yes, that was still happening. The Girl's portal not only followed after me, it was acting like it had gotten anchored to my head and remained exactly a palm's width away from my right ear no matter how much I moved. Oh, and if that wasn't distracting enough already, she also refused to shut up.

"I told you I was in the middle of something!"

"What?" Ambrose yelled over to me, sounding baffled by my sudden outburst.

"I'm not talking to you, but…" He wasn't listening, because he was busy trying not to get fully surrounded by the bodybuilder mages, so I bit back the end of my response into a soft groan, just in time to sense another ground-pound coming my way. "Bloody hell, I hate multitasking!"

"What?" This time the question came from the other side of the portal, and it wasn't coming from The Girl.

Meanwhile, I dashed back and observed the battlefield. I could take the fight to the pillars on my left, or the open space in the middle. One would've given me cover and opportunities to divide my foes but would also make me easier to box in, while the other would've given me more freedom to manoeuvre but also let the golems fully surround me.

"Do I know him? I don't think I do," the voice of The Boy continued to ask questions clearly aimed at The Girl. "Who's he?"

"I told you, just a friend! I contacted him for… erm… for advice! About the Simulacrum!"

"Uuuuh. You've asked an outside for help? ************ won't like that…"

Even though I was familiar with the info-torrents that occasionally erupted from the Emergent whenever they referred to each other or certain concepts, the unexpected stimulus made me nearly stumble, and it wasn't until I rolled out of the way of an incoming stony fist that my brain finished digesting the synaesthetic info-bomb and concluded that he was most likely referring to The Woman.

More importantly, that momentary lapse of action allowed the golems to cut off my way towards the row of columns, meaning my choice was made for me. I dashed forth, drawing the stone creatures towards the open middle of the hall, and they followed with heavy yet surprisingly rapid steps. Meanwhile…

"It's just a small thing! No need to tell her about it!" The Girl protested, and then her voice suddenly shifted from frightful chirps to angry crowing. "If you tattle, I'll also tell her about that time you skipped the middle strata when looking for the Crowned Coalescence, even though she specifically told you to do it!"

"H-Hey, that's blackmail, and… That's a peculiar way to call him…"

"Yeah, but it's fitting, isn't it?"

"I suppose, but…"

"Could you two pipe down? You're distracting me," I grumbled at the duo, and they both quieted down. Not completely though.

"S-Sorry? Um… What is he doing?"

"He's playing around," The Girl told him confidently, and if she wasn't a freaking star-god-people-thing, I would've been tempted to put this whole mess on hold long enough to give her a forehead flick.

"Playing around?" The Boy echoed her, sounding more confounded by the choice of words than anything.

"He's very serious about it," she insisted, and… yeah, I'll definitely give her a forehead flick as soon as I figure out how to do it safely.

More importantly, just running away from the golems was not a strategy, so I needed to stop stalling and come up with one. First off: no Phasing, either short- or long-ranged, and no phantom limbs unless necessary. Everything else was fair game.

"That's… barely a handicap," I whispered while simultaneously activating my Leoformer and donning my Lion Knight armour, followed by reaching into the storage enchantment and…

"{Status Report: Interface:Teeny, operational. Welcome back, Archon Polemos.}"

"{Oh, finally! What are we fighting…?}" Cal's words got caught in his non-existent throat and, I kid you not, he let out a freaking squee. "{Aaaah! Young Knight, look! Worthy foes, at last! We must use this opportunity to hone the practical application of your Flash Cut in real combat scenarios!}"

"{Objection: Interface:Teeny would like to once again state that the designation 'Flash Cut' is too plain and isn't befitting the stature of the Second True Archon.}"

"{Oh, please, Teeny! We talked about this! We have to leave space for improvement, so that once our young Knight has fully mastered the technique, it could be renamed to the 'Ultimate Flash Cut'! Then, once its mastery reaches its pinnacle, it might even break through and become an even mightier technique, such as the Omega Flash, or the Horizon Divider! If we grant it such a grand name right away, then it will only make naming the improved versions all the more difficult!}"

"{Compromise: Interface:Teeny admits that Interface:Cal's argument has merit, but isn't happy about it.}"

…

Was this a bad idea? Adding two chatterboxes to the situation while I was already being distracted sure felt like one, but then again, what other option did I have? I couldn't quite fight these guys bare-handed.

Speaking of which, I flourished my blades. Teeny was in its short sword form, while Cal's long blade was already thrumming with mana, even forming a faint white mist around it, a clear sign of being hyped up by the prospect of the fight. Which, to be honest, I wasn't entirely free of myself. When was the last time I fought someone properly, not in a training context? Maybe it would be good to let out some steam and…

"Okay, but what did you want to ask him about?"

"{Quickly, young Knight! Use your Flash Cut to bisect the foolish foe on the right!}"

"Oh, you know? Stuff? Simulacrum stuff?"

"{Advice: Interface:Teeny would recommend focusing on the two damaged enemy combatants for maximum threat reduction.}"

"Could all of you shut up for just a minute!?" I snapped, silencing the peanut gallery, if only momentarily.

The swords in my hands imperceptibly trembled from the stream of mana entering my body, but I held onto them firmly. My armour's physical enhancements were at their baseline values, but I didn't need more for this, and as soon as the mana in my body made a full circulation, I sprung forth.

The golems hadn't formed a united front. Or even tried, for that matter. There were two on the left, two at the front, one on the right, with two more lagging behind a bit. I honed in on the two directly in front of me. One was in pristine condition, while the other lost an arm to Ambrose. Because of this, there was a bit of a gap in their reach, so I dashed into that blind spot and swung Teeny at their knee.

Metal met stone, and while that was usually bad news for the blade, this was an ancient legendary plot-device weapon we were talking about here, and Teeny's leaf-shaped edge bit deep into the magical rock of the creature. It wasn't quite able to sever it in one go, and the resistance made me flinch, but I was still able to inflict enough damage to make the golem fall on one knee, bringing its head and one glowing red eye in range of Cal.

A simple stab, but it had quite a lot of force behind it, and the tip of the sword easily penetrated the glassy red orb embedded in its body. That's all it took to take the first golem out of commission, as expected, but there were still six left.

Tearing Cal out of the head of the creature took some effort, which left me momentarily vulnerable to another Golem's attack. This was the one-armed one though, so by the time it got into position to take a swing at me, I was not only out of the way but also swinging Teeny on the back-stroke, and as blade met with rock again, the latter crumbled and was cleanly severed.

Why was there such a stark difference compared to the first strike? Simply put, I cheated. This wasn't the first time I've used the trick where I lined my phantom limbs up with the edge of my weapon, and while I was playing things conservatively this time, I quickly found a good balance. I would only use them around Teeny to allow me to disrupt the magical formula maintaining and controlling their bodies, leading to easier dismemberment, while Cal would be used whenever striking their heads or torsos were required, thus avoiding getting accidentally pulled into retcon-space again.

Speaking of which, the disarmed (pun one hundred percent intended) golem staggered back, so before it could regain its balance (and try to headbutt me, or something) I jumped up and swung Cal at its face. With my physical enhancements, I not only reached its head level, but my momentum carried me over it. I successfully held back the urge to do a somersault, and I could hear the armless creature fall motionlessly on its face as soon as I landed. Two down. Now, there were only…

"Come on, help me out here!" An angry whisper interrupted my plans, coming from the portal by my ear. "Can you please just play along?"

"I told you, I'm—!" I tried to argue back, only to pause when I realized that I was already in the process of cutting off the leg of the next golem. This… might not take as much mental effort as I thought, so I grudgingly told her. "Fine. Just don't expect me to answer anything technical off-the-cuff."

"Thanks! I know you'd come around!"

"… What exactly is your relationship again?" The Boy asked, sounding oddly guarded.

"Friends!"/"Acquaintances," we answered simultaneously while I used Cal to redirect a haymaker punch coming my way and then immediately followed it up by a counter with Teeny, splitting the fist down in the middle.

"Hey! We're not just acquaintances!" The Girl protested as I took a couple of light steps to the side and slashed the other leg of the previous golem, sending it crashing to the ground. And crash it did; these things must've weighed multiple tons each!

"I don't think we're friends yet though," I countered even as I climbed the downed creature in preparation for targeting the back of its head. "At most, we're partners in crime."

"Ack! Don't put it that way! It's going to make us look bad!"

"… Are you doing something bad?" The Boy chimed in, and I could practically see The Girl pouting in my mind's eye.

"No! He's just messing with me because he knows you're listening!"

"Maybe," I said offhandedly and delivered the coup de grace on the downed golem before dashing out of the way of multiple stone fists coming my way.

"What is all that noise in the background?" came The Boy's next question, further flustering The Girl.

"I told you; he's playing! Seriously! Seriously playing!"

That wasn't how I would've put it, but in the meantime I swung Cal at the gap between the closest golem's head and body. The blade embedded itself about halfway through but got stuck, so before it could leave me open, I poured a whole lot of mana into it, kind of like how I would prepare for the beam attack, and then yanked on the handle. The excess energy created a bang and a flash, and a moment later the flat head of the golem sailed through the air like a novelty champagne cork at a New Year's party.

While the two Emergents continued to argue about what I was doing and how we knew each other, I made a quick headcount and found that there were still four more golems around. Since I made short work of the ones attacking me, there was enough of a gap to see that Ambrose was also making headway with the Magi. I hoped the people lying on the ground were still alive, and since there was no blood, it might not even have been an unfounded one.

Since the rest were now trying to bring their injured members out of the crossfire, it meant the arch-mage had even less opponents to deal with at once… except that one of those was the stray golem that disengaged from me at the beginning, and it was steadily cornering him. I had no idea how, or why; maybe he switched to different spells better suited against humans and they were ineffective against the creature? I couldn't ask, because we were too far apart, and…

"{Young Knight! Quick, use your Flash Cut to support your ally!}"

"Cal, I swear…!" I started, but then I glanced at the blade still filled with mana in my hand and went, "Argh, fine!"

After hamstringing another golem with Teeny and making sure the others were out of reach, I raised Cal over my head and pumped even more raw mana into it. The edge flared up with a bright white light, and while my form wasn't nearly as stable as when I last demonstrated the technique to Josh, I also wasn't going full throttle back then. Also, adrenaline may or may not have played an additional factor, because when I swung my hand and released the pent-up power, the crescent wave emitted by the tip was not only brighter and more defined than before…

"What the hell, Leonard!?"

"You're welcome!" I yelled over to the arch-mage retreating from the dust and debris kicked up by the neatly bisected golem, the gouged-out floor, and the crumbling wall at the far end of the hall. I couldn't hear anything else he said, because I was so focused on this stunt that I almost ate a backhand strike from another golem, but it was nothing a few quick cuts by Teeny couldn't rectify post-haste.

"{Haha! You see, Teeny! Well call that Flash Cut: Overload!}"

"{Restrained Awe: Interface:Teeny is impressed by the Second True Archon's boundless martial might.}"

"Cut it out, you two," I whispered, but The Girl must've overheard.

"What? I didn't say anything this time!"

"I wasn't talking to you, and—"

"Um… Sir? So, are you really an expert in regards to the fluent constancy principles of the Simulacrum?"

I tried to understand the question even as I continued to hack at the golem in front of me, right until its defences opened up and I could deliver a quick stab at its head. Only then did I utter a flat, "Sure, I suppose," before twisting the sword and jumping off. Two to go.

"I told you! He's… he's not just an expert; he's totally immersed in it! He's living and breathing it!"

"I-If you say so…" The Boy retreated in front of The Girl's dogged insistence, so I used the opportunity to focus on the remaining golems. I figured that the sooner I got rid of them, the sooner I could support Ambrose, so I went on the offensive.

"Whoa, whoa…"

Maybe a bit too much even, because I forgot that I shouldn't use Teeny (or rather, my phantom limbs) on the bodies, and I nearly ended up in another temporary-retcon. It didn't stagger me long enough for it to be dangerous, fortunately, so I managed to duck under the punch coming from the left, cut off the extended arm at the elbow, and then hit the back of the other golem's knee before giving it a good kick. Note to self: even when magically enhanced and wearing magitech armour, kicking a big-ass rock hurt.

Anyhow, that imbalanced it, the golem fell on one knee, and I immediately stepped on it to boost myself up to its shoulder. Cal made short work of its glowing glass eye, and since I was already up there, I could just hop over to the other golem. I withdrew my phantom limbs first, then I pulled back both my arms, followed by a quick cross-slash that completely destroyed the last golem's head while also giving me some upward boost for a full flip, concluded by a perfect landing punctuated by the two golems falling over at the same time.

Geez, it was nice to feel cool from time to time.

"Leonard! Stop playing around; we need to wrap this up right now!" Ambrose called out to me, cutting my basking in the afterglow of a well-executed move short.

"Yes, yes. I'll help you out."

"Really? In that case, what is your opinion on the rapidly rising structural complexity of the Simulacrum's ************* in the mid-stratum?"

… Oh crap. Did I miss a question from The Boy while I was focusing on the last golem? What did I agree to? And what did he mean by structural complexity? I would've liked to ask The Girl for support, but how was I supposed to do that without giving the game away? Also, this wasn't exactly the best time to answer inquiries like that, so… Refuge in audacity it was!

"It's because of the two Free Actors," I said the first thing that came to mind even as I broke into a dash towards Ambrose.

"The Free Actors… but… I mean, it would explain the rise in variable redefinition, but what about the spread of the effects to non-operational segments?"

Again, I had no idea what he was talking about, but that never stopped me from bullshitting my way out of a conversation. But before that, I targeted the closest muscle mage and leapt towards him.

"Leonard, no! Don't let them touch—!" Ambrose cried out in alarm.

I couldn’t exactly stop at this point though, and I couldn't exactly hit them with Cal or Teeny (since even a strike with the flat of the blade would've been dangerous), so I settled for the next best thing and focused all my momentum into a kick. My target, a middle-aged man with defined muscles, short hair, and a neatly trimmed beard raised his arms into a boxing block. His hands, covered with thick metal gauntlets, shone with a fain green light… right until they met with my foot, at which point there was a deafening sound reminiscent of a whip crack, and the guy was sent flying back.

My momentum carried me on and I rolled to a stop, and when I got back on my feet and brandished my blades, the bearded arch-mage let out a soft, "… Never mind."

Meanwhile, I already came up with my answer to The Boy's question, or at least something that he would hopefully accept at face value.

"Phenomena, even outside the usual range of interactions, can occur as long as it is actively expected to occur, prompting the internal framework to bring them into existence to maintain the illusion of consistency."

"… Excuse me?" one of the muscle mages blurted out, so I used the opportunity to kick the broken fist of the bisected golem his way, while his defence was down. Of course, I didn't hit him (I was never great at soccer), but it made them regroup in a hurry, giving us some breathing room.

"Wait, are you implying that the Simulacrum would adjust the world-state of the scenario based on the Free Actor's expectancies? Wouldn't that go against the laws of ************* within the Simulacrum?"

"So long as it's out of sight, can anyone tell when part of the framework was bent to suit a new paradigm?"

"It… would be impossible, unless one searches the whole scenario for the seams, but… Why would two Free Actors make a difference?"

"A small change can create a huge divergence in unexpected places," I stated with a sagely voice. Meanwhile, the Magi grouped up, so before they could start slinging spells at me, I raised my blades and started walking towards them. "Just like how the wings of a butterfly could create a storm a world over."

"What in Sophia's name are you blabbering about?!" Ambrose exclaimed, but I had little mental power to spend on him, because I already had to divide it between the Magi in front of me and the duo on the other side of the portal.

"Oooh? Then, wouldn't that also explain the thing I asked about?" The Girl chimed in excitedly with the sound of a chattering of sparrows. "You know? The thing I asked when I called you?"

I'll be honest here, after everything that went down in the last ten minutes, I had no earthly clue what her original inquiry was, so I just nodded along.

"Sure, it might." I could hear The Boy inhaling in preparation for another question (why he needed to do that was yet another Emergent mystery), but I cut him off with, "Now, can I finish what I started here in peace?"

There were no more questions, so I flourished my blades at the group of magical musclemen and…

"We surrender," the man I just sent flying not too long ago called out to me. He had trouble standing on his own and had to lean on his fellows and… and…

"Those were the sanest words I've heard since the moment I set foot in this god-forsaken place!" I burst out loud, much to Ambrose's annoyance.

"I take umbrage to that!" He kept his spells active and trained on the group, and I only just noticed that he was limping. Even though he couldn't see my eyes because of the helmet, he must've realized something from my body language, because he grudgingly added, "I was sloppy. They got my left leg."

"I can see that, but… now what?"

"That's a good question!" he griped so hard he went as far as to tug on his beard. "What are we going to do with these bastards?! We can't take them hostage, but we can't leave them here either!"

"Just tie them up with a spell or something," I said off-handedly, but then I had a sudden epiphany. "Unless…"

I turned to the group and jerked my head towards the man in the middle, who seemed to be their leader, or at least their spokesperson.

"Hey, question: Can you tell us where the Grimoire Key is?"

"… We surrender."

I narrowed my eyes (not that he could see) and tried again.

"Where's the arch-mage's office?"

"… … We surrender."

A heavy silence lingered for a long beat, then on a whim I asked, "What's two plus two?"

"… … … It's four. And we surrender."

"Argh! These stubborn bastards are useless!" Ambrose fumed, and for once, I completely agreed with him.

In retrospect, I should've expected this much. These guys weren't just your run-of-the-mill placeholders, they were placeholders from an area of the Simulacrum that was an order of magnitude less defined and developed than the worst of Critias. It was a small miracle they didn't all look exactly the same, like a bunch of default character models in an RPG.

"Well, in that case…" I began, only to fall silent as I was hit with another epiphany. "Hold on, give me a minute."

"Did you think of something?" Ambrose tried not to sound too hopeful, but when I nodded, he burst into laughter at once. "Haha! I knew you would have something else up your sleeve! So, what's the plan? Come on, out with it!"

I couldn't exactly explain the details to him, so I shook my head and sat down, right then and there.

So, let's look at what we had here: a quantifiably less defined segment of the Simulacrum, a bunch of extra-basic placeholders, and the two of us not having a single clue about how to get to the Grimoire Key and exfiltrate before the local arch-mage could do something nefarious to it. Oh, and we had one more key resource here: someone Narrative-adjacent with lots of imagination.

It was a long shot, but it might've been our only shot at resolving this situation without fighting through the entire facility and getting blacklisted by the rest of the Assembly for all the damage caused in the process.

"Give me five… no, ten minutes," I spoke softly as I got into a lotus position and laid Cal on my lap. "I need to meditate."