The Simulacrum

Day four of our vacation.

With most other outstanding issues (read: the ex-directors) successfully resolved, and everyone being sufficiently relaxed, it was time to break out one of the biggest beach episode tropes there is: beach volleyball.

Hm. Maybe I should've used an exclamation mark there. Beach volleyball! It would've sounded much more exciting that way. Not that it was boring, by any means. Pretty girls jumping around and playing on the beach in their swimwear was a sight for sore eyes even at the worst of times, and considering we had all of our 'main characters' gathered here, we had no shortage of pretty girls.

"Snowy, it's yours!"

"Got it!" my Abyssal sister called out and jumped into the air for a spike.

Angie tried her best to catch it on the other side, but she was just a bit too late, and ended up landing on the sand without anything to show for it.

"Point!" the class rep declared on the side, hiding from the sun under a large parasol and acting as the referee.

"Aw, shucks," the Celestial girl grumbled even as her boyfriend helped her up from the ground. My sisters shared and energetic high five in the background. "I could've reached it if I used my wings…"

"Hey, no wing talk!" Penny exclaimed on the other side of the net. "It's an unfair advantage, right?"

She was looking at me for some reason. I thought they already resolved this argument before they started playing, but I nodded along all the same.

"I know, I know. That's why I said 'if'!" Angie sulked, making Josh chuckle even as he dusted the sand out of her hair.

"Take it easy. It's just a game."

"You didn't take it easy when you played with Leo," she argued back, and my friend conspicuously averted his eyes.

"This and that are different. It's tradition."

I had no idea why he put it like that, but it was technically true that us competing in team sports have been a recurring thing, so I couldn't quite argue. In any case, one of the many Celestial 'volunteers' catering to us at the beach returned the wayward ball to the court, so the two teams got ready for the next round.

This wasn't even the only volleyball court we had. A bit down the shore, closer to the beach houses, the adults had their own net set up in the sand, with Lord Barnabas serving as their referee. On one side, we had Morgana and Arnwald, while on the other, we had Abram and Emese, locked in a heated match. Knights against Dragons; a tale as old as time.

I had no idea which side was winning, but Judy's parents were loudly cheering for my Draconian inlaws, so I had a feeling they were in the lead. Funnily enough, despite being the primary advocate of this event, Sahi was nowhere to be seen. Last I checked, she was taking a dip in the sea with Pascal, but I didn't pay too much attention to her. I've already set up the nets, meaning I've done my part, and it wasn't like they would go anywhere. Sahi could play any time she wanted while we were here, so there was no rush.

As such, I continued to lounge on my sun-bed under the shade of my parasol, with Elly blissfully sunbathing near me. We already played a match against the childhood friend couple (we won, obviously), so now she was recharging her batteries for the promised rematch in the evening. Of course, not all of us had sporty orientations, but everyone managed to find a way to relax and entertain themselves. The class rep would continue to act as an umpire, Michael was trying to make some mocktails for the parents with the help of some Celestial 'professionals', along with…

"Gwyneth, you absolutely have to try this one. It's perfect for a hot day like this."

"Why, thank you!" Judy's moms smiled and took the glass offered by the Celestial woman, the latest handiwork of Mike and his group. "You're so considerate, Eris."

"Don't even mention it," Savir responded with a smile of her own, looking eminently self-satisfied. "We're friends after all, aren't we?"

The two of them chuckled in unison before Judy's mother focused on the volleyball match again, and Savir froze up when she realized that I was looking at her. It only lasted for a second though, before she gave me a 'I'm more innocent than a newborn lamb' kind of expression and turned around to return to Michael's group.

I didn't exactly know how to feel about that, but Judy didn't raise a fuss about it so far, so I refrained from intervening for the time being. That said, I had a faint inkling about what she was doing (and more importantly, why she was doing it), and if my hunch was right, it was just plain hilarious. Trying to befriend Judy to use her as a shield against me, only to fail so monumentally she was now trying to befriend her mother as a shield against her had the kind of poetry to it that I couldn't make up even if I tried.

But speaking of my dear assistant, she was also nearby, and as one of the 'less sporty' members of our group, she was staying away from the entire volley ball business and focusing her attention elsewhere. Namely, the two Celestial kids.

The three of them were sitting on a thick, blue-and-white checkered blanket laid out on the sand, with a matching parasol hanging over them. Her hair was tied up into a simple ponytail for once, and since we weren't planning to do any waterside shenanigans today (due to various circumstances I'm too embarrassed to talk about), she was wearing comfy shorts and a loose dark blue blouse for a change. As befitting the picnic-style setting, the tree of them had a food basket next to them, yet the middle of their little circle wasn't filled with plates but notes written on detachable notebook pages.

"In conclusion," Judy spoke nonchalantly and picked up one of the papers. "What does the Chief dislike the most?"

"Scheming!" the kid on the left (she was probably the girl) declared with a hand raised.

"But only when it's against his people!" the boy (I presume) added, and after a long beat, Judy nodded.

"Yes. What else?"

"Ceremonies," the first kid continued enthusiastically. "Pompous ones, with fanfares."

"Also, the Lord Archon doesn't like when people kow… kow…" the boy stammered and shuffled the notes until finally finding what he was looking for and let out a relieved breath. "Kowtowing! He doesn't like that!"

"Like when people bow and pray to him," the girl added, and Judy once again let out a satisfied hum.

"That's right. And what kind of people does the Chief hate the most?"

The two kids glanced at each other, clearly considering this a trick question, and after a while the boy tentatively asked, "S-Scheming ones?"

"We already said that!" the girl whispered frantically, and when Judy didn't respond, she shuddered and visibly wracked her head over the question. "Uuu… Is… Is it people who want to be friends with him, but not really?"

"Ah, right! That's a good one!" The first kid picked up a page and hastily scribbled on it, only to pause and ask, "But… aren't those just schemers too?"

"It's fine. Both are good answers," Judy told them gently and then raised a finger. "Now, here's the bonus question: what does the Chief like the most?"

"Oh, that's easy!" the girl exclaimed with a giggle and pointed at her. "Lady Dormouse!"

"Ah, Lady Princess too!" the boy hurriedly added, and while Elly was pretending that she wasn't paying attention, I could hear her trying her best to stifle a delighted giggle.

Meanwhile, Judy let out a thoughtful hum and turned to me.

"Chief? Can we take them home?"

"For the last time, no. We're not adopting them." Glancing at the children, I also added, "Sorry kids."

"N-No, O Lord Archon!" the girl exclaimed and nearly bowed to me by reflex. "We couldn't even hope for such an honor!"

"R-R-Right!" the other child backed her up by repeatedly nodding, but my dear assistant wasn't paying any attention to this and was deep in thought.

"Elly?"

"Yes?" the princess sat up at once and raised her sunglasses.

"I convince mom to adopt one, you convince Emese to adopt the other. Deal?"

"Oh! I always wanted to have a little brother!" the princess grinned with glee, and I could only sigh in mild exasperation.

"Cut it out, you two."

"I'm not joking," Judy insisted and clumsily hugged the children. "Or are you planning to abandon them after we go back home?"

"No," I denied emphatically. "They're my Chief Reminders now, so I'll look after them, but I'm not going to adopt them into the family."

It's already gotten too big, too fast, to the point I was still wrestling with it, so I wasn't going to start adopting more new members any time soon. Seeing that I was adamant about this, Judy clicked her tongue and finally dropped the joke (or at least I sincerely hoped that she was joking) and turned to the kids on the blanket.

"Listen up. The Chief is weak against children, so make sure you pester him a lot about giving you preferential treatment, okay?"

"We wouldn't dare!" the boy burst out in horror, which my girlfriend completely ignored and continued to coach them about how to act cute around me. I had a feeling this was a misunderstanding started by Elly, but I didn't have the chance to correct it, because the volleyball match ended in my sisters' favour.

"Match!" Ammy declared from her makeshift umpire seat, and Penny jumped with joy and hugged Snowy without any reservations!

"Yay! We did it! Sister power!"

"Y-Yay?" my Abyssal system had a hard time matching her energy, but tried her best. Meanwhile Josh crossed his arms on the other side of the net and exhaled a long sigh.

"That's two for two. We're on a losing streak."

"Don't worry, pal! We'll get them back!" Angie patted his back, her enthusiasm burning as brightly as ever. "We'll totally mop the floor with them in Skyminton!"

Despite her best efforts to cheer him up, Josh only looked at her with a profound sense of skepticism.

"Penny can't fly."

"Then… erm… we're gonna beat Leo and Elly!"

"… Do you mean our volleyball rematch, or that 'Skyminton' game you've invented? Because I'm not sure Leo's flying either."

"Argh! Stop nitpicking!" the Celestial girl roared and literally jumped on his back, catching him in some kind of clumsy wrestling choke hold.

"H-Hey! Cut it out! We're gonna—!"

That sentence was probably supposed to end with 'fall', because that was precisely what they did, and they even rolled on the sand before coming to a halt. There was a long beat, with Angie somehow ending up sitting on top of Josh, and then they both ended up bursting into laughter. It was nice to see them being close like that. Was this the same kind of warm, fuzzy feeling that the others were talking about whenever I was flirting with the girls after we started going out, I wondered.

Unfortunately, the cosyness of the scene was severely undermined by my wincing, as the two of them being covered in sand like that brought back some rather unpleasant recent memories, which I would've rather forgotten as soon as possible. As such, I turned my attention to my sisters, who made their way over to Judy's side at some point and were intently listening to the lecture she was giving to the kids.

When they noticed that I was looking at them, the four of them looked awkward at first, but under Judy's encouragement they all marched over to my side, giving me a foreboding feeling in the process.

"B-Brother?" Penny spoke up first, clasping her hands in front of her chest and giving me a kind of proto-puppy-dog stare. "We won, so… will you praise us?"

Even as she said that, she was turning beet red, and when nobody else joined, she pumped Snowy with her hip.

"Ah, y-yes," my Abyssal sister belatedly followed her up with just a little bit of a stutter. "Penny scored the winning point, so you should praise her."

"No, that's not how it works! It was a team effort!" Penny argued back with unnecessary vehemence, while the kids audibly gulped in the foreground.

"Lord Archon, p-please praise us too!" the boy finally squeezed out, and the girl soon joined him.

"Y-Yes! Lady Dormouse says we deserve praise! And Lady Dormouse is always right, right?"

"Right!" the boy doubled down, and then a moment later, I had four pairs of expectant eyes staring at me. Six, if we counted my girlfriends.

"Oh, fine," I grumbled and got up from my sun bed, only to then immediately lean over and ruffle the heads of the Celestial children. "You've been working hard, so you deserve some praise. You're good kids."

The two of them looked at me with eyes wide open, as if they couldn't believe it worked, but by then I was already standing tall again and swiftly reaching out towards my sisters.

"A-Awawa! Nobody said anything about headpats!" Penny protested, but I was faster.

"Too late, kiddo!" I exclaimed victoriously and vigorously rubbed the top of her noggin. "Consider yourself praised." My other hand was ruffling my other sister's hair, though in her case a bit more gently. "You too, Snowy. Good job."

"Hehe." She grinned at me like a well-fed cat, which was always a heartwarming sigh, but then Penny finally retreated from my reach and ran away with a 'Hauuu!', making my Abyssal sister blurt out an alarmed, "Penny, wait!"

Snowy sent me an apologetic glance and ran after her, and the kids followed suit for some reason, as if on autopilot.

Seeing that she was left alone, Judy began to indifferently pick up the notes scattered in front of her, while Elly remained on her own sun bed and had a hard time keeping her giggles in check.

"See?" she squeezed out between two fits. "I told you Leo's weak against children."

"Is that what this was all about?" a new voice joined our fray when the class rep approached me, and for once I wasn't surprised. Maybe because her presence became more 'solid' even since she awakened as the Conduit of the Grimoire (or because we were out in the open, one or the other), but she hasn't been appearing in my blind spot as often as of late. She was looking at us critically from under her wide-brimmed summer hat and her gaze ultimately settled on me. "Are you going to have your rematch with Josh and Angie right now?"

"Nah. Maybe later in the evening," I responded at once, and the princess also agreed.

"Right! During sunset, illuminated by the red setting sun! It will look much more romantic that way!"

"What does romance have to do with volleyball?" Ammy murmured, but then soon ignored her own question and glanced around the beach. "If we're having a break, can you tell me where I can find Michael?"

"Last I'd seen him, he was over at the mixing stand with the celestials in the black-and-white uniforms."

"Mixing stand?" she repeated after me, and I shrugged.

"Well, it's not exactly a bar, now is it?"

Her eyes narrowed, and she followed my line of sight towards the spot near the adults' volleyball court, and she soon followed it up with a soft harrumph.

"He better not be drinking any alcohol, or I'll give him an earful."

"I don't think they have any, but you're free to check," I said offhandedly, but then a moment later I also added, "In fact, why don't we head over now?"

"Plural?" Judy chimed in from the side, looking me right in the eye.

"I could use a change of scenery, and I'll heckle Savir a bit while I'm there."

"Understandable. Have fun."

With her blessing, and accompanied by Elly's continued chuckles, I joined the class rep as we walked over to the other court. Yet, after just a couple dozen steps, I couldn't help but notice that she slowed down. I matched her, curious, and she immediately gestured for me to walk closer to her.

"Hey, Leo?" she whispered. "Talking of romance… you've been walking around the shore with Elly and Judy after dark, right?"

"… Yes," I admitted, feeling just a bit self-conscious.

"Did you… find any nice, secluded spots around here?"

"Some. Why?"

She slowed down even more, and whispered even quieter, to the point I had to fully concentrate on her to make out the words.

"I was thinking about making some… summer memories with Michael."

"Oh, I see." Nodding, I gestured towards a stony outcrop about a hundred meters down the shoreline in the other direction. "There's a pretty nice place over there. Great for stargazing and other stuff, just…" Now it was my time to lean closer and whisper, "If you're planning to do anything more intimate than that, I would advise against it."

My suggestion seemingly caught her off-guard and she awkwardly mumbled, "W-Why's that?"

I let out a dramatic sigh, and told her. "The sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere." A long pause later, I echoed, "Everywhere," with extra gravitas, and then added, "Ask me how I know."

She didn't. And it was best we left that (and my ill-fated impromptu tryst with Judy last night) at that. Let's just say that it was a learning experience, and wasn't that what youth was (allegedly) all about?