The Protagonist System

284 Beast and West

A week passed by with nothing happening, even though the death notices of all the devils killed in my purge of the Khaos Brigade were sent out. The most sensitive one, Diodora Astaroth, was Ajuka Beezelbub's younger brother. Thankfully, the Satan didn't react negatively to the notice and only sighed as he commented that he knew he was dabbling with things he shouldn't.

Before I knew it, the day to visit Odin in Asgard arrived and I dressed in my best suit. I had memorized the coordinates for the teleportation circle and still took it into my hand. I also listened to Grayfia's warning that the realm had a barrier surrounding it. Even though I had permission to go right there, I still stopped in front of the barrier and used my magic to poke it and pressed the permission letter to it.

The barrier opened just enough for me to slip through and I did so, then I stepped to the right coordinates and faked the teleportation effect to appear in front of a tall, silver-haired, beautiful woman wearing a stylish business suit. I had been tempted to bring a date, just to show off that I could, and I was really glad that I decided not to with Rossweisse herself being my greeter.

“It is an honor to meet you, bodyguard of Odin.” I said and bowed to her.

Rossweisse blushed and waved her hands as if to ward me off. “No, no! I'm the one that's supposed to greet you!”

I kept the smile off my face as I stood up straight. “I'm pretty sure that a Valkyrie such as yourself outranks a technically unaffiliated member of the human race.”

Rossweisse didn't lose the blush. “I thought you were the assistant to the Satan of Foreign Affairs for the devils?”

“I am.” I said and held a hand out to her. “However, my actions are usually my own to make Grayfia's job easier.” I held my hand out to her. “You can call me Issei Hyoudou.”

Rossweisse took my hand and really blushed when I kissed the back of it. “I am Rossweisse, a Valkyrie and guard for the head of the Norse Gods, Odin.”

“Again, it's an honor to meet you.” I said and didn't let her hand go, to her surprise. “I assume you are to escort me to the meeting by taking the longest route possible while giving me a tour of your capital city?”

Rossweisse gave me a sheepish look. “How did you know that?”

“Odin is well known as a lecher and I'm sure he is trying his best to distract you from your duties by throwing you at me.” I said and finally stopped holding my smile in. “After meeting you, I really don't mind playing along and being your boyfriend for the duration of my stay here.”

Rossweisse looked a little faint, so I swung her around with the hand I still held and scooped her up into my arms. I could almost see steam coming from her ears as I cuddled her to my chest and her face went to a deep red. She didn't object or tried to get away, though.

“Where to first?” I asked and stepped away from the designated teleportation spot. “I think I smell some meat skewers on the next street that should keep our appetites at bay until the feast Odin has surely planned for later.”

“I know the best place and it's inexpensive, too!” Rossweisse exclaimed and then looked really embarrassed.

I chuckled and walked down the street with her in a princess carry. “There's nothing wrong with being happy about finding a good deal, Rossweisse.”

“That's not what everyone else says.” Rossweisse whispered and pouted.

“That's because they don't appreciate your efforts on their behalf to save them some money.” I said and reached the corner of the street and nodded towards the crowded street packed with people and food stalls. “Which stall is the one you mentioned?”

Rossweisse didn't point and whispered directions instead. I followed them and easily avoided bumping into anyone, even with Rossweisse in my arms. She seemed to be amazed as I worked my way through the crowd and then she pointed when she saw it. I walked over to it and there was only one other person buying them.

“There's my favorite customer!” The older man said when he saw Rossweisse. Surprisingly, he didn't mention her being carried in my arms. “What would you like today? Your usual green peppers and mushrooms with boar meat, or would you like to try my new multi-meat skewer?”

“Definitely the multi-meat ones.” I said and both she and the stall owner gave me surprised looks. “I'm just visiting, so I need to experience as much of the life in Asgard as I can before I have to leave.”

Rossweisse opened her mouth to respond, then she paused with a thoughtful look on her face and closed her mouth.

“That's a good reason, stranger.” The man said and picked up two large skewers that were just stacks of different colored meat chunks. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” I said and shifted Rossweisse slightly and braced her with a hand as I sat her on my knee to hold her steady. “My lovely girlfriend will hold them for us as I pay.” I said and she did that as I pulled out a gold coin from the treasure I gained way back in the Familiar of Zero universe. I reshaped it to be clear of markings, just in case, and it became a coin of plain gold. “Is this enough?”

Both Rossweisse and the stall owner gasped at the coin.

“You could buy everything the stall has with one of those!” Rossweisse exclaimed.

I chuckled and stored it and replaced it with a blank silver coin to hand to the man. “Now I'm really glad to have Rossweisse along. I would have severely overpaid and put you out of business by accident.”

The stall owner accepted the silver coin and ran his fingers over it. “It's pure silver.”

“Unlike gold, it doesn't need the impurities to keep it strong.” I said. “If that's still too much, give us two of the green pepper and mushroom ones for her to eat later.”

“Deal!” The man said and slipped two skewers into a paper bag and handed the bag to Rossweisse. “I look forward to hearing about your date tomorrow!”

Rossweisse blushed and I picked her up in a princess carry again.

“I'll try and give her a few good stories to share.” I promised and walked back into the crowd.

“Issei, you can't really mean...” Rossweisse whispered and kept blushing.

“If you claim me as a boyfriend for the day to protect me, Odin won't be as hard on me during the meeting.” I suggested and her blush didn't lessen.

“It might work.” Rossweisse whispered and then started muttering about what she thought boyfriends and girlfriends were supposed to do on dates, which was quite endearing, to be honest.

So, I did all of her suggestions as we worked our way through the streets to reach the castle Odin lived in and Rossweisse blushed every time. I bought her flowers, her favorite sweets, stopped at a small cafe to have tea and held her hand, gazed at her lovingly, walked along the park to admire the sky and the birds, and strolled along the last street to end near the castle entrance.

“This was the best date.” I said and looked deep into her eyes. “Thank you for letting me spend this time with you, Rossweisse.”

Rossweisse blushed again and opened her mouth to thank me back, only I took the opportunity to kiss her and my tongue started battling hers. Rossweisse let out a cute sound of surprise, then she moaned into my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back passionately. She had no experience with it, so it took a few minutes for her to get into the groove and she really enjoyed it.

“Ahem.” A court page said instead of coughing when he approached us.

We ignored him, of course.

“AHEM!” He yelled and clapped his hands a single time to get our attention.

I broke the kiss and sighed. “I suppose we have to stop, now that we have an audience.”

Rossweisse looked both embarrassed and pleased. “I s-suppose.”

I stepped back and took her hand as I turned to face the weirdly dressed man. “How can we help you, whoever you are?”

“His highness, Odin of the Norse, awaits your presence inside.” The court page said.

“Then lead the way.” I said and he turned around and went back into the castle. I smiled at Rossweisse and she smiled back, and we followed the page inside.

We were barely inside the crowded meeting room when a booming voice spoke.

“You've been with her for hours and haven't bedded her yet? What kind of pervert are you?” Odin asked as his lone eye glared at me.

“A repentant one.” I answered and a few of the other gods of the pantheon laughed.

Rossweisse caught her breath and stared at me.

“After I was murdered by a Fallen Angel for my sacred gear, that I no longer have, I was reincarnated by a devil. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes and wanted nothing to do with my previous behaviour. I made amends and apologized to everyone I wronged and have been on my best behaviour since then.”

“Liar!” Odin scoffed. “I've peered through the mists and watched you debasing several women!”

Rossweisse sucked in a sharp breath and tried to let my hand go.

I held on and didn't let her get away. “I knew you were a lecher before coming here. Now everyone knows you're a voyeur and enjoy watching them have sex when they think no one can see them.”

All the laughing stopped and nearly everyone turned to look at the old man at the center of the table with hostile glares.

Odin ignored them and his sole eye glared at me. “How dare you accuse me...”

“...of the truth?” I cut him off. “Because you are taking my actions out of context and slandering me in front of potential allies for your own amusement. Only an arrogant fool would do so in such a public setting.”

Several gasps came from the other gods and from Rossweisse.

Thor stood up and lifted his legendary hammer. “You dare call my father a fool?”

I turned my head to him and smiled. “You didn't deny the arrogant part. Typical.” I said and chuckled. “I can easily prove my words if your hammer still has the enchantment on it for only someone worthy to wield it.”

The entire room fell silent when I said that and everyone worriedly looked back at Odin.

“Well? Hand your hammer to your father and see if he can lift it. Go ahead.” I said and motioned to Odin. “I'm sure you are all fully confident that the old man that would never lie is worthy to lift the hammer.”

Not even Rossweisse came to her charge's defense, because she knew he lied to her multiple times a day to get away from her constantly trying to stop him from having fun and going to casinos, brothels, and other businesses of ill repute.

“Why don't you lift it yourself?” Thor asked and held it out to me.

Instead of looking worried or refusing like a lot of them thought, I kept the smile on my face and walked over to the large table with my hand still holding Rossweisse's. Seeing the surprise on Thor's face was almost priceless, then I accepted the hammer from him and lifted it above my head.

A crack of thunder sounded as a bolt of lightning hit the hammer, making it glow. Everyone jumped from the loud sound and then looked shocked at me so easily holding the hammer up.

“Is that it?” I asked and no one said anything. I turned slightly and held the hammer out to Odin. “Here, old man. Go ahead and take it. Show us all that you're worthy of our trust.”

Odin looked really angry, because we all knew he couldn't lift the hammer, even if his life depended on it.

“No? You know you're only proving how much of a coward you are by refusing to even try the challenge.” I said and turned back to Thor and held the hammer out to him. “Here's your hammer back.”

“Th-thank you.” Thor said and accepted it back.

“You're welcome.” I said and walked back to the center of the room with Rossweisse at my side. The look of desire and admiration on her face was difficult to ignore, too. “Why was I called here, anyway? The invitation didn't say and I doubt you brought me here only to insult me to my face, since you probably did a lot of that behind my back.”

A lot of guilty faces answered that comment and proved it was true.

“You dared to scry on a meeting The Norse had with the Greeks.” Odin said, his voice low, as if it was a grave crime to do so.

“No, I didn't. I tried to look in on the Greek Pantheon to see how they were reacting to the Minister of Foreign Affairs message about Hades being punished for murdering your wife. It was just luck that you were there as well with your adopted son that helped arrange it and participated in it.” I responded. “I cut the connection as soon as you detected me.”

Odin had a look of triumph on his face. “So you admit you were spying on a rival faction for the devils!” He said and looked at his fellow gods. “I think it's time we showed the filth what it means to betray...”

“Shut your disgusting mouth.” I interrupted with an even tone in my voice and there were a few surprised sounds. I was done with his twisting things and wouldn't stand for it anymore. “You are the only filth around here. You are the one ruining your pantheon's reputation. You are the one everyone laughs at because of your behavior. You are the reason no one takes you seriously and thinks you're a joke.”

“How dare you...” Odin said and started to stand.

I let Rossweisse's hand go as I formed a sword of black energy and stepped from where I was to beside Odin and laid the sword against his neck. The black energy dissolved the collar of his robes and melted the metal of the necklace he wore.

“I could have shoved this through your heart or chopped off your head to end your life.” I said loud enough to carry throughout the hallway. “There was nothing you could have done to stop me.”

Odin tried to flex his powers to shove me away and I pulled the sword across the side of his neck and stepped back to the middle of the room. “AHH!” He yelled and slapped a hand over his neck and flooded the wound with his power to stop the flow of disintegration energy trying to infect him.

“Father!” “Odin!” Thor and the others around him shouted and rushed to his side.

I stood there with my sword at the ready and Rossweisse took a step away. “Sometimes, the leader of your people is not worthy to be followed.”

It took several minutes before Odin stood and his neck was healed. He also looked furious. “I hereby declare that all devils are the enemy and...”

“I am not a devil, you idiot!” I shouted and cut his declaration off. “I was at home on my own personal time when I was checking on things using my own authority. You know your crow came to my house to deliver the message you sent.”

“Be that as it may, you are the assistant to the Satan of Foreign Affairs, therefore you are acting with her permission!” Odin spat.

“Why would me answering a personal summons be acting on her behalf?” I asked with a smile. “You invited me, Issei Hyoudou, not the Foreign Affairs Minister's assistant.”

“Semantics!” Odin said. “The devils have been too arrogant lately and you are proving they are getting too big for their station!”

“I am? How? I killed Serafall Leviathan.” I stated and no one was surprised. After a moment, I realized what he was doing. “Ohhh, I get it. You think they're weak now with Serafall out of the way and Sirzechs on sabbatical.” I said and saw it was the truth by the look on everyone's faces. “You need the excuse to put your people on a war footing and your claim that my scrying violated your privacy is all you need, even though I wasn't looking for you at the time.”

“That doesn't matter now.” Thor said and hefted his hammer to point it at me. “You attacked the Head of the Norse Pantheon in our own domain while under guest rights. We will retaliate with due force.”

“Your father spies on everyone's private affairs and not just political opponents, and I'm the one at fault for checking a different pantheon for danger?” I asked and he nodded. “Then I have no choice but to declare I will defend myself with all due force as well.”

“Good luck defending all of the Underworld when we launch our offensive!” One of the other minor gods shouted.

“The Underworld? Why? I was the one that peeked on the Greeks and I was the one that attacked Odin.” I said and then chuckled at a funny thought. “Wait, your people are getting as fat and lazy as Thor, aren't they? You want another glorious battle to sing tales about and any excuse to attack who you think is a weaker opponent is enough justification.”

None of them responded and I didn't think they would.

“Well, I'm sorry. I can't allow that.” I said and took a fighting stance. “You are not going to have any viable members of your people left to launch an attack with when I'm done with you.”

“You can't!” Rossweisse exclaimed and grabbed my arm with the sword. “Once war is declared, the paperwork has to be filed and a date will be set to start the battles. Encampments have to be built, barricades constructed, trenches dug, and siege machines assembled.”

I looked at her like she was an idiot. “What moron decided all of that had to be done first before you can fight?”

Everyone turned and looked right at Odin.

“Oh, for fuck's sake.” I said and let my sword dissolved. “If you're not going to fight fair, than neither will I.” I said and turned to Rossweisse and pulled her into my arms. “I hope you enjoy being a political hostage.”

“Wh-what?” Rossweisse asked, shocked.

“I'm not leaving you here with these degenerates. Who knows what other horrible ideas they'll put in your head about war?” I asked and looked over at Odin. “By the way, you are going to regret not keeping this private affair private.”

“Begone from my realm, devil heathen.” Odin said and waved a hand at me.

I felt a huge push of magical energy against me, probably to banish me, and I deflected it away. “I already told you, you dirty old man.” I said and they were all surprised I was still standing there. “When I come after you... You. Cannot. Stop. Me.”

I faked a teleportation circle and stepped away to appear back to my home to just inside the front door. “Mom! I brought a girl home!”

The loud squeal made me chuckle and Miki ran out of the kitchen and over to us.

“Oh! She's gorgeous!” My mom said and Rossweise blushed. “She's dressed sensibly, too. Well done, Issei. Well done.”

“Thanks, mom.” I said and handed the embarrassed girl to her. “I have something I need to do before supper, so can you keep her entertained until then? Maybe show her one of your recipes using leftovers?”

Rossweisse caught her breath and looked between my face and my mother's, as if wondering if we were joking.

“I do have some chicken left over from lunch and the rice we had last night.” Miki said and smiled. “Would you like to help me make up some chicken curry, dear?”

“YES!” Rossweisse yelled and looked embarrassed.

Miki laughed and hugged her. “It's so nice to have someone else as excited about cooking as I am.” She said and led the still blushing girl into the kitchen.

I went up the stairs to my room and sat on the bed. I had some searching to do and hoped I wouldn't have to go too far to find what I needed.

*

A one-eyed Frigga sat on the throne of her kingdom of Asgard after the final battle of Ragnarok. Her fool of a son Loki caused it to happen prematurely and she wished he was still alive so she could tear him apart with her bare hands again.

As she mused over the joy she felt from the memory, something tapped on the barrier that surrounded her mostly ruined realm. She was surprised, because it felt like it was a polite knock solely to gain her attention. With a flex of her divine will, the barrier opened briefly and she felt an immensely powerful being enter.

A second later, he stood in front of her and her lone eye widened at the sight. She couldn't help but admire his composure, his perfectly sculpted body, and eyes filled with more knowledge than a mortal should ever hold.

“Thank you for allowing me an audience without prior notice, Queen Frigga.” He said and bowed respectfully to her. “My name is Atlas and I have a proposition you might find appealing.”