The Heavenly Martial Empress Returns: An OP Xianxia Returnee LitRPG

Chapter 229: A Bizarre Being

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After taking that attack from this strange clown-like creature, Jackes and Francisco felt strange. Their bodies had become similar to gum, and although they felt no bones in their body break, their entire bodies had become flattened like pancakes. The jester looked down, realizing he might’ve gone a bit overboard.

However, inside of the minds of Jackes and Francisco, there was something else happening. There was a huge feeling of disbelief and fear. They were both being overwhelmed by a power they simply couldn’t quite understand that bent the laws of physics themselves.

“I-I cannot free myself from this state…! Ugh!”

Jackes constantly tried to turn into spectral shadows and regain control of his body, but he remained in that strange physical state, completely paralyzed.

“If it wasn’t for our own physiques and high stats, we would have died from this blow…!”

Francisco began to rapidly analyze what exactly had happened to his body. He didn’t feel any sort of magical spell or curse within his body.

But something had certainly manipulated it and turned it this way, and he couldn’t undo it either, at least not in time for what was coming.

“WELL! SHALL WE FINISH THE SHOW?”

As the thing drew closer, Jackes and Francisco grew more and more desperate.

“Just what are you?!”

Jackes was the first to ask the question; he could speak at least.

“HUH?”

The jester-like monster looked at Jackes through the eyes behind its mask, tilting its head in confusion.

“WELL! YOU DON’T KNOW WHO I AM?”

The two hunters looked at one another, trying to buy time.

“We have no idea who you are! You just appeared out of nowhere! Is Atticus even alive?! Are you Atticus?”

Francisco was the next to ask this bizarre monster what they were exactly.

And…

“HEHEH… WHO? ATTICUS? I DON’T KNOW THAT GUY! I AM… A JESTER! I LIKE MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH.”

The jester spread its huge hands and long fingers as colorful confetti emerged out of nowhere, at the same time as he manifested several colorful red and white balls.

He started balancing them at the tip of his two index fingers as he moved around, trying to amuse the two.

A second ago he was trying to kill them, and now… this?

“Y-You’re… a jester? You just want people to laugh?”

Jackes couldn’t believe what he was hearing… It felt as if not even this thing knew what it wanted to do; it was completely chaotic.

“YES, YES… BUT WHEN PEOPLE ARE ALL SAD AND DON’T LAUGH… WELL, IT KIND OF MAKES ME MAD.”

POP!

The two balls exploded into more confetti, as the Jester glared at the two hunters; its bloody red eyes seemed to be piercing their souls across its mask.

“SO TELL ME… WHY ARE YOU NOT SMILING? WHY ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING?! IT’S BORING LIKE THAT!”

Jackes and Francisco knew what they had to do to survive.

They forced very terrible smiles on their faces.

“Heh… Hah… I’m smiling, see?”

“Yes! W-We are… very happy for what you’ve done.”

“OOOH!”

The Jester began clapping with his big hands, jumping around while making stupid and weird sounds.

“YIPEEE! WEHEE! I’M SO HAPPY! YOU’RE SMILING!”

The two realized that this somehow pleased this monster being, and as they smiled and made him happy, whatever supernatural force was forcing their bodies to be this way began to slowly dissipate.

Until…

POOF!

Both went back to normal, looking at themselves in disbelief and awe as the jester approached them, his face incredibly close to them.

“HMM! WELL, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! YOU’RE BACK TO NORMAL, TEHEE! IT WAS A JOKE, HEHE! IT MADE YOU LAUGH, RIGHT? SO IT WAS WORTH THE RISK!”

“T-The risk?” Jackes asked in disbelief. “This is…! Are you a friend or foe?! Just what are you?”

“…” Francisco remained in silence, slowly standing up. His Aura was compressed inside of his body to keep it hidden from his foe, and he began to combine hundreds of runes at once.

“WHAT AM I? I AM A JESTER. I ALREADY TOLD YOU! AND FRIEND OR FOE? WELL! I PREFER TO CALL MYSELF AN ENTERTAINER! SOMETIMES I CAN BE A FRIEND, OTHER TIMES, A VILE VILLAIN! BUT ALL FOR THE LAUGHS.”

The jester shrugged as he looked around; it seemed to always be in its own world, unable to truly understand the consequences of any action.

“Jackes! Keep talking to him! Don’t stop! I’ve realized something! That thing uses Mana to use its abilities! It has already gone to half its original Mana Pool. I will drain it all in one attack; until then, just talk and buy me time!”

Francisco sent a telepathic message to Jackes, who quickly understood what Francisco planned, nodding while looking at the Jester.

“Do you have a master or someone telling you to do these things?”

Jackes continued talking to the monster.

“MASTER?! HAH! THE ONLY MASTER I HAVE IS MYSELF… WELL, WE MIGHT BE MASTERS OF OUR OWN ART TOO, YES!”

“W-Wha…? We? What do you mean, we? There are more of you?”

“WHO KNOWS? SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES THERE ISN’T!”

“And-”

“HEY.”

“…!”

Jackes quickly felt a tremendous pressure weighing him down as the creature pointed its finger at him.

“YOU’RE PLANNING SOMETHING, AREN’T YOU? YOU CAN’T TRICK ME!”

“W-We aren’t planning anything, I swear!”

“YOU DO?! WHAT A LIAR!”

FLASH!

The thing moved towards Francisco, pointing its hand at him.

Francisco’s eyes widened, as he quickly used magic to evade the incoming blow, the hand of the jester-like monster pierced the ground instead.

CRAAASH!

Cracks spread through the area that was hit, as several pieces of stone flew away into the skies, falling like deadly rain.

“I was barely able to buy time at all, dammit!”

Jackes rushed towards the monster, quickly becoming one himself.

FLUOSH!

His entire body grew to a gigantic size, resembling a monstrous, spectral abomination. Using his giant claws shaped like blades, he attacked the creature.

CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

“NNGH…! YOU’RE NO LONGER SMILING! LIARS! LIARS! I HATE LIARS THE MOST!”

The jester intercepted the blows with its bare hands, managing to block most of them with ease! Despite being so bizarre, this thing was also tremendously tough and agile.

However…

“{Spectral Shadow Domain}!”

BAAAM!

Jackes smashed the ground with his spectral legs, as shadows seeped into the ground and rapidly spread everywhere, forming a domain that distorted space and even the perception of time.

“OH MY? ISN’T THIS QUITE INTERESTING! YOU’VE GOT QUITE A LOT OF TRICKS!”

The jester was amused, giving Jackes enough time to push forward, swinging his claws down and unleashing a barrage of explosions of black abyssal flames with each blow.

CLASH! CLASH! CLASH! CLASH!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“NNGGH…! HAHAH! AMAZING!”

The jester resisted the blows with his bare hands and arms, but his clothes started looking ragged and damaged, and black flames covered his entire body.

“IT’S TRULY INCREDIBLE! NOW TAKE THIS!”

The jester leaped into the skies as he suddenly manifested a giant mallet hammer and swung it down; Jackes quickly evaded, but his right arm was caught.

CLAAASH!

“NGH?!”

Jackes felt a numbing pain as he saw his entire spectral arm being completely flattered into the ground. He looked at it incredulously, dragging it back to realize he couldn’t even move it anymore.

The power that the monster held was simply otherworldly; on so many levels, it completely fucked with the perception of reality for Jackes!

After having trained for so long, he couldn’t help but feel like he was facing something way out of his league.

And yet…

Did he even have any other option anymore?

“I-It doesn’t matter; it’s just an arm!”

He quickly tried to merge back the damaged arm into his spectral shadow body, as he regretted a dozen more arms. However, he found out it was impossible to do that; his arm had become completely paralyzed within reality itself. Anything he tried to make change its shape and form or move was impossible. He couldn’t even cut it off.

“T-The hell is this?!”

“GYAHAHAHA!”

The jester leaped towards Jackes, swinging his deadly hammer against him, a hammer that looked made out of simple wood and yet carried such deadly force.

BAAAMM!

The hunter managed to evade this time, as the hammer instead hit the empty air, which rapidly began to bend and then shatter, creating a “boing” sound.

As the space shattered and rebounded, a shockwave hit the jester, sending him flying directly towards Jackes as he moved!

“Are you kidding me?! How did he even do that?!”

Jackes couldn’t believe his eyes; fighting this bizarre enemy was surprise after surprise!

“I WILL NOW SHOW YOU MY GREATEST PERFORMANCE! OHOHOHO!”

The jester spun in midair as his aura erupted, resembling a circus with people laughing and clowns performing, and then he jumped into a trampoline.

BOING!

BOING!

BOING!

Each trampoline increased the monster’s speed until he became almost supersonic and…!

“SHIT!”

Despair emerged within Jackes' eyes as his monstrous, spectral form was pierced by the jester and his hammer.

CRAAASH!

Leaving behind a huge hole through him!

“G-GUH?! AGH…!”

He looked at the wound, a large hole between his chest and stomach…

He tried to recover, reforming and fusing back into a cloud of darkness to then go back to his human body, but then…

It didn’t work either!

“Haahh… Haahhh…”

He dropped to the ground, feeling exhausted. He wasn’t bleeding either, or he was sure that if he had been forced in this form, he would’ve died from this wound.

And yet… he didn’t?

“W-What is this? Why am I still alive?!”

He felt his physique and soul took a large amount of damage, though a lethal blow became non-lethal! For which reason?

Not even the hunter himself knew…

It was as if the powers of this monster were jokes too; everything was just to mess with them.

Even when they got flattened like pancakes, an attack that should’ve left their bones and organs triturated, but it didn’t…

“HOHOHO! I SUPPOSE I COULD SAY THAT WAS AN ACE IN THE HOLE!”

As he heard that monster’s accursed voice, Jackes glared at it with his crimson eyes; he knew that even with these “joke attacks” or whatever, this wouldn’t last forever.

“Y-You fucking bastard…!”

Jackes manifested his darkness into his fingertips, creating several spears of shadows and firing them at the jester at once.

“OHO?”

The jester swung his claws, destroying all the spears as they came. For some reason, as he blocked them or threw them away, the spears exploded into confetti.

“THAT WAS A VERY POOR JOKE FROM YOU! MAYBE IT’S TIME TO FINISH THIS SHOW ONCE AND FOR ALL!”

The monster charged forward as Jackes gathered his energies into his only hand available and pointed them at the monster.

“FUCK OFF!”

TRUUUMMM!!!

He fired a massive black beam against the jester, powerful enough to destroy a mountain with ease! And yet the thing…

“HAH!”

He parried it with a kick, kicking the beam into the skies and then making the entire beam change consistency; from burning ethereal shadow Ki and Mana, it turned into some kind of weird black slime.

“Y-You have to be kidding me…!”

The monster appeared above Jackes, his hammer rushing down towards his head; he knew this was it.

He was going to die.

CRAAASH!

Jackes closed his eyes, imagining the pain he would feel.

And yet…

He felt no hit at all.

“Huh?”

He looked into the skies, his eyes widening as he noticed a muscular, beastly giantess smashing the jester’s face and shattering half of its mask into pieces.

“GUUGH?!”

The jester felt immense pain as he was sent flying away, landing on the ground while bouncing, and making funny noises.

“What’s wrong, Jackes? You didn’t train enough?”

“Aiyana?!”

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