The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 93 〉 888. The Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (5)

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"Heehee. It feels refreshing."

"Yes! Hwa-min unnie's body is cold, it feels nice..."

Under the night sky, where stars seemed to be swimming in water.

Hee-ah snuggled close against my body, her face rubbing against my slightly cold clothes from the night breeze, gazing at the beautiful sight of stars densely dotting the dark canvas of the sky.

Even Hee-ah's mysterious, slightly grayish eyes seemed to be captivated by the beautiful scenery, unable to tear herself away from the stars etched in the sky.

Well.

"....Then, that's good."

I, feeling the child's unique warm and rapid pulse from within my embrace, was busy listing the reasons why we had ended up in this situation, matching them to each and every star in the sky.

They say that different hormones are secreted at night compared to during the day.

Like the embarrassing thoughts I was thinking about just before, the ones I'd never want to think again.

And someone's last words, swallowed whole by the monster called 'Late-night Sentimentality,' things like, 'I....sometimes....cry....' must all be because of those hormones.

Wouldn’t those poor victims, when they open their eyes the next morning and see what they had created, shed tears after realizing the consequences of being swept away by a momentary emotion.

The thump, thump of kicking the blanket with their feet would be a given.

Our ancestors were not wrong when they said, 'A letter written at night should be read again in the morning, and never be sent immediately.'

Perhaps 'Late-night Sentimentality' isn’t a problem limited to modern society, but a phenomenon with a long and rich tradition.

So, there was nothing wrong with me.

Those thoughts I had been having until now, thoughts that would have made me too embarrassed to even lift my head during the day.

And the late-night laments where I acted as if I were the sole protagonist of a tragedy.

"........"

It was all the fault of this damned night air.

—Swish.

"....Hmm? Unnie, I think Hwa-min unnie's body suddenly got warmer..."

"....Isn't that your imagination? I mean, it hasn't been long since you woke up from sleep either."

"Mmm…? Is that so...?"

"Yes, yes. Our little Hee-ah must be very tired~"

When Hee-ah parted the curtains and tried to come out to the veranda where I was, she found me leaning alone against the railing and gave me a bright smile, apparently happy to see me.

Well, I was quite startled to see Hee-ah coming out at this ungodly hour.

But regardless of my surprise, Hee-ah walked toward me, slowly parting the fluttering white curtains, in the same posture she was looking at me.

One step at a time, carefully.

The sight of the child, whiter than the curtains, a child who truly suited the word 'pure white', walking towards me, held an indescribable charm that surpassed even the beauty of the night sky I had been admiring.

However, I was nervously sweating bullets, wondering if Hee-ah had woken up because of the noise I had made while moving to the veranda, or because of the sounds of me muttering to myself, caught up in the mood.

Those two extremely plausible reasons made me watch the approaching child with nervous eyes.

"But—"

But as it turned out, my worries turned out to be unfounded.

What greeted me as I stood still was not a playful complaint that she woke up because of me, nor a puzzled look wondering what I was doing out here alone at this hour muttering scary things to the empty air like that.

—Squeeze.

"—Hwa-min unnie's warm embrace is nice too."

".........."

*Snuggle*. Along with a sound like soft fur being rubbed together.

As I tried to wave off any concerns, what I got was just one child who wordlessly threw herself into my embrace.

**

The screams of those pounding on doors, and the human figures swept away and scattered by the horde of zombies, their forms no longer recognizable.

If a smile naturally bloomed on one’s face despite being in that situation, a situation that was not at all funny, a situation where one shouldn't be laughing.

It surely means that they have broken down, unable to accept this horrific world.

Yes.

".........."

We had broken down.

The reason why a desolate desert can appear beautiful is because of the oasis hidden within.

The reason why one can say a life filled with pain is beautiful is because they believe a better tomorrow is waiting in the future.

But in a completely barren desert where no oasis exists, in a life where only despair awaits no matter where you look in the future.

Does the meaning that people speak of truly exist there.

Since when had we begun calculating our future by the number of canned goods stored in the kitchen drawer instead of hoping to be rescued and eating together with our families at home.

Since when had we become able to tell the approximate time by looking at the position of the sun, instead of desperately watching the sky hoping to see rescue helicopters or supplies dropped from above.

Tick-tock.

Like sand falling in an hourglass, our sanity began to slowly run out.

It was an environment where mental illness would inevitably develop even in those who never had it before, an environment where even a perfectly normal person would slowly go insane.

'Those bastards… how do I kill them...? How... how...?'

—Tap, tap.

Jung-eun was desperately putting on a strong front with a forced hearty laugh, clumsily hiding the fear lurking beneath her face behind a mask.

'...Sunbae. Is there anything I can do to help?'

'.........'

'Should I fix the door? Or close the window? Scouting? Exploration? Deduction? Give me any task, please. Please tell me what to do, sunbae.'

Yeon-ah was trying to follow behind whomever was leading the way by delegating all the decision-making to others, grabbing only the hem of that person's clothing without looking ahead.

I watched as my precious friends who I had lived with slowly being pushed to the edge of a cliff, one by one.

'Pfft... Haha... Hahaha.'

And I also noticed that I, myself, looking at my friends, was becoming no different from them.

After coming to Hee-ah's house, everyone seemed to recover slightly, enjoying a brief respite, but the situation hadn't improved.

Although we had regained a moment of peace, we still couldn't change this gloomy and hopeless reality.

And that.

'.....Heehee.'

Shouldn’t have only applied to us.

We all knew.

No, with those things placed so visibly, we couldn’t *not* know, even if we wanted to.

That there was no way a child who looked not even ten years old yet would be living alone in this large house.

The sets of more than six pairs of chopsticks and spoons when roughly counted, and the four beautifully prepared teacups.

And.

'.....This.'

The photo hanging on the wall, a picture of three people looking happier than anyone else.

We saw it clearly with our own eyes.

The child's hope that had completely withered away, unlike us who still held onto some futile hope.

Considering Hee-ah's age, it would have been understandable if she had simply given up and burst into tears.

But.

'──Come on, let's play a game together, Hwa-min unnie!'

'.....A game?'

'Yes! A game. Yeon-ah unnie and Jung-eun unnie too, come here! Let's play a game together~ Heehee!'

The child was different.

The child, who had more right than anyone else to abandon this world, was different from us, who had already given up.

—Thud.

'Oh.... it's... over?'

'.....Eh!? It's over!? C-Can't we play again... Yeon-ah unnie…?'

'Wow… Yeon-ah, I never thought you'd be like this. Seriously playing to win against a child… You really are heartless.'

'Ah, no! I-It's just… Hee-ah is really good at it…! I-I'm serious!? Please believe me, sunbae!!'

The child who observed the world with clear eyes, not losing hope.

Even in this terribly transformed world, Hee-ah maintained her true self.

And.

'Hurry up and roll…!!'

'...To be, or not to be, that is thy question.'

'If you don't roll now, your kid dies, nyah!'

Perhaps that hope had become contagious.

Or was it a case of "life's already ruined, so whatever happens, happens"?

Before we knew it, Yeon-ah had started to think that she should try and do something herself.

And Jung-eun, who had been hiding her vulnerability behind a facade of strength, was able to let out a deep breath and regain some composure.

Yes.

All thanks to this child.

"........"

"....Heehee..."

I lowered my head and looked down.

In my arms, wrapped in a gray cardigan, I could see Hee-ah's face, her eyes half-closed as if she was falling back asleep.

Even if a child acts mature, they're still a child after all.

I smiled briefly at her cuteness, and thought that I should probably go back to bed now for Hee-ah's sake as well.

The thought of staying up all night had long since vanished.

"You'll catch a cold, Hee-ah. And if you do, Yeon-ah will scold me… Shall we go back now?"

"....Okay. Let's go together, unnie."

Tap, tap.

While dusting off my sleeve that had gotten dirty from resting on the railing, I spoke to Hee-ah who was looking up at me.

Hee-ah, responding to my words was full of drowsiness.

I carefully followed behind Hee-ah so she wouldn't trip.

Asking if she's okay or if it's hard.

In this quiet space, Hee-ah and I didn't particularly exchange words asking about each other's well-being.

All we did was simply lean against each other under the dark sky and gaze together at that beautiful night sky.

That was the extent of the conversation we shared.

But for me, just that.

Just that single embrace, was more comforting than a hundred words.

—Step, step.

"Hee-ah. That game, the box said '2nd' on it, so I wonder if there's a '3rd' one?"

"....Hm? Mmm... We don't have it at home. But... Maybe there might be some at the mart."

"Hmm....is that so."

Well, in the end, nothing had changed.

Nothing visible, nothing tangible, nothing at all existed yet.

Probably after I take Hee-ah back to her room, the same day would repeat itself, no different from any other.

Still.

"—Still, if there's a 2nd one, there must be a 1st one."

Still, the reason I can have hope is.

Still, the reason we could all get back up was.

"So later, let's play that game together."

The reason life is beautiful is not because there is definite happiness lying ahead on the path I walk.

It's simply because we were given the ability to hope and dream of a beautiful future.

"—Next time, it'll be me and Hee-ah, on the same team."

"....Okay! Sounds good, Hee-ah unnie!"

That's what I decided to believe.

For the really ridiculous reason of wanting to act like an adult in front of a child.

**

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