Chapter 110: A Need for Answer
The carriage swayed gently as it rolled over the streets of the capital. But the atmosphere inside made every small bump feel like a slap to the face. The cushioned seat provided none of its usual comfort as I forced myself to sit still. I kept my hands folded neatly on my lap, feeling compelled to glue my lips shut and nail my gaze to the carriage’s floor.
I snuck a glance at Leila, who sat beside me. Under any normal circumstances, Leila would always keep her eyes straight forward with her back and shoulders perfectly straight. Now though? She was unusually tense. Her hands were almost curled into fists as they rested on her lap, and her eyes shifted ever so slightly as if trying to find a way to escape.
Honestly, couldn’t blame her.
The way Mother acted there was… unexpected.
The moment I retreated from my bow, I was scolded on the streets by Mother, her voice uncharacteristically booming.
I was used to her sharp, cold words. I was used to being scolded and being told what to do. But never had Mother done it so… harshly. She would usually keep her voice “calm”, somewhat composed yet still authoritative.
To think she could lash out that ruthlessly. I believe we caught the attention of many who passed by.
The moment we entered the carriage didn’t improve the atmosphere at all. In fact, it merely worsened it. The knights inside stepped out and offered to walk along with the carriage outside. Although it gave us a wider and more comfortable seating arrangement, I had never felt so suffocated.
By the time we arrived at the manor, I could barely breathe.
The walk across the garden felt longer than usual. The atmosphere was as suffocating as usual. Couple that with the cold night air, and I felt like it would be better for me if I just made a run for it.
Entering the manor, Mother turned back to me. She didn’t seem to be as furious as she was before. Her gaze was still sharp, however. I could feel my soul being glared at.
Mother’s voice was clear and commanding.
“Go to your room. Do not leave.”
I’m grounded again, huh?
My only hope was that this would only last this one night.
Leila stepped forward, bowing slightly. “If I may, shall I attend to Lady Carine as—”
“No,” Mother interrupted her efficiently. “I did not order you to talk, Leila. Return to your quarters, and do mind your manners.”
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Leila stiffened. Her eyes seemed to widen in what I believed to be… shock. It lasted only a second before she bowed her head and stepped away without a word. “Forgive me, Your Grace…”
Not long after, Mother turned heel as well. “To your room. Now.” She didn’t even glance at me as she said those words.
I wanted to speak, to say something about this whole situation. But I never had a chance to refuse. I mean, when have I? Mother’s words were absolute.
After standing alone in the entrance lobby for a while, trying to clear my thoughts, I decided to start moving my legs. I headed to my room as per Mother’s orders. Two butlers were stationed outside my door before I even reached it.
Their presence wasn’t unusual, but something about it unsettled me. Typically, if I was to be kept in my room, Leila was the one tasked with ensuring I stayed. I logically thought this was because she was still on her break. But part of me felt like this was something else.
Something about the scene before me unsettled me. Mother’s trust in Leila had always been unshakable. Out of all the servants in this household, no one knew Mother as well as Leila, and the same goes for Mother.
So why had she dismissed her so coldly?
That question kept repeating itself in my head as I entered my room.
I changed into my nightgown without thinking, almost like my body was moving on its own. I sat silently on my bed, cradling my soft pillow as I stared blankly at the distant wall. I ran my fingers through the cold fabric, trying to ease my nerves and think things through.
I let out a long sigh into the pillow, thinking it would ease this heavy feeling in my chest.
It didn’t.
God, what I wouldn’t do for some warm tea right about now.
I wondered if I could just sleep it off. But with how restless my heart was right now, I doubted it would be that easy.
I quietly fell to my back, staring at my canopy bed’s intricately designed top while still cradling my pillow. I found my eyes automatically tracing each carving in great detail. My mind naturally wandered seconds after. I came to a single conclusion.
I needed answers.
Why was Mother so different today? She was pretty cheerful before she left the manor in the morning, well, at least compared to her usual self, anyway. Was my outing that much of a taboo? Or did something happen when she was out today?
If this sudden change of attitude was something that even Leila was surprised by, there must be something weird going on, right?
I concluded that I wouldn’t sleep well until I had the answers myself.
Those were my thoughts and all I could think about.
Seeing a small shift in the light from the window, I rose from my bed slowly. I took a peek outside the window. A carriage had pulled up in front of the gates.
I recognized it as one of the many carriages we had, which meant Father had returned from his visit to the castle. Once he was inside, I was sure Mother would bring up my situation to him.
This is a chance…
Eavesdropping wasn’t exactly proper for someone like me. After all, I’m a Young Lady. I had my dignity to uphold, respect I needed to keep.
But at that moment? I wasn’t so sure…
Information is a weapon. No matter how you looked at it, you couldn’t deny that words could be much more potent than a blade under the right circumstances.
When an opportunity presents itself, I mustn’t hesitate. Mother taught me that herself, and who am I to disobey her teachings?
Sure, it wouldn’t be honest of me to listen in on private conversations…
But… I wouldn’t be the one eavesdropping.
What do you think?
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