Reborn From the Cosmos

Arc 8-04

I wouldn’t have minded passing out for the rest of the day the way I felt. Sleeping until my problems passed me by would have been even better.

Instead, judging by the dying light painting the bedroom in shades of gold, I’d say it’s afternoon at the latest. The exhaustion that made me take an early rest hasn’t gone anywhere, my nap having left me groggy and loathed to lift my head. So, I don’t. No one’s expecting me till dinner and there’s nothing to do, so there’s no rush.

I purposely ignore Morgene’s assignment. Aside from the work itself being a pain, it’s also, ugh, demeaning. I don’t know what I expected when she offered to teach me, though it really wasn’t an offer. Really, kind words and candy were never on the table. The violet elf has been an unsheathed blade from the moment I met her. She’s never pretended to be anything else. That doesn’t mean that constant disdain doesn’t get old.

The sad part is that I can’t do anything about it. She wants me to retaliate, to fight. Elves love conflict but she takes it to an extreme I can’t even fathom. Anything short of killing her is just giving her a gift.

I’d hoped that at least she would provide insight that would make up for the unpleasantness of her constant disdain, but, so far, that hasn’t proved true. Her so-called teaching seems more like thinly veiled mocking. Sigh.

Ah, well. I can put it off for a few hours. At least until my head stops throbbing.

“Coo~”

“Not now, Bell.” I groan as I feel the bed dip from her weight. “Don’t make me order you.”

{I’m only here to help.}

“Oh, yes. Helpful Bell.” Despite my gloomy mood, I know better than to send her way. She proves me right a moment later when tiny hands press on the back of my head. I grit my teeth as she casts her spell, the feeling of mana intrusion as uncomfortable as ever. But without me fighting the magic, it quickly disappears, and relief replaces it. Sweet, sweet relief.

“Has Morgene also been enjoying helpful Bell?” I’m a bit surprised she’s here after Morgene announced her intentions to monopolize her.

“Coo!” {She had a breakthrough in her research and sent me away.}

“Hm. So she’s actually learning something by laying on me every morning?”

{Yes. The stronger a caster is, the less rigid magic becomes. Mana is not just fuel for magic. It is will, of the being using it and the world. Strengthening one’s core doesn’t just make bigger booms.} She snickers as I huff at the childish phrasing. {The larger a creature’s core, the bigger its presence in the world. That presence lets them feel the world. For magic that requires a degree of intuition, like the null affinity, it is very beneficial. She can truly feel the magic of your body…and she can learn from it.}

That’s scarily impressive. Both because it’s scary and so impressive, it’s daunting. “But she won’t be able to do what I do. She’s not a shapeshifter.”

{She is focusing on your natural ability to keep two planes connected, anchored to your physical form. If she is successful, she will be able to move parts of herself to another plane at will, at almost no cost. With her reflexes, I can’t imagine an enemy will ever manage to touch her again.}

“…that’s impressive, I guess, but it’s not like she needs the advantage.” From what Kierra tells me, Morgene is a master at using teleportation in combat, blinking short distances to make her movement completely unpredictable.

{You are underestimating a fight between masters. Weak creatures can be felled with one decisive spell. Strong, experienced fighters can duel for hours, their defense unexploitable until their mana runs out. In fights like those, every unit of mana counts. Bending space is not cheap. If she is succesful, I imagine she’ll have at least thirty percent more of her mana in combat. Maybe forty. All of which she can devote to offensive spells while being far more mobile.}

Ah. The more I hear about this, the more I pity whoever crosses that woman in the future. “What are you helping her with?”

{Spell construction. Our combined knowledge is slowly bringing order to the ridiculousness of your body, but it is slow going.}

“How slow?”

{At this rate, we may see success in a few centuries.}

I almost choke on my surprise.

{Given that it should be impossible, I think centuries is quite fast.} The small hands on my head migrate to my neck, pressing into the muscle until I squeak. {But you do not need more things to worry about. Allow me to help you.}

“I don’t need your—"

My words are cut off, or rather stolen from me, by a much larger hand pressing into my lower back, a wave of sensation making me relax into the bed.

“It is very convenient that you made this form so similar to a human’s.” Oh, it’s been a while since I’ve heard the voice of Big Bell. That and the increased weight on my back tells me she’s taken her “true” form, or the form recognized as a virtue.

Her hands don’t stop her massage. My prime form can’t be stiff unless I want it to be, but the skillful hands aren’t trying to remove tension. This is about feeling good, plain and simple. “Though I am a little disappointed there is no need to explore. It’s fun, finding out the secrets your partner doesn’t even know they keep. There is no mystery left for your lovers, my master.”

“Is that, hm, really a bad thing?” I mumble, relaxing into her touch.

“Pleasure isn’t all about the body. You do yourself a disservice, drowning in the physical. It only reaches skin deep.”

“I’m not complaining.”

“No. That’s one of your weaknesses, isn’t it? You don’t know how reach for more. Oh, you can grab the riches that fall right in front of you without shame, which is a proper start. But when it comes to putting your hand in the world and ripping away its treasures, you shy away. Is it because you are accustomed to having little? You’re like a trained dog. The masters that beat obedience into you have long since been dispatched, by your own hands no less, but you still stay in your cage.”

In less than a blink, I turn us over, rolling on top of the succubus and pinning her arms to the bed. Glaring down at her, I’m reminded what master manipulators the creatures are. They don’t hide that they aren’t human because a creature that has to hide is automatically something to be wary of. A virtue looks like someone breathed life into a statue of dark stone, with a crown of thorns around their heads and pits of fire for eyes. They should be nightmarish. Yet, those alien features are beautiful; her burning eyes are striking rather than strange, the stone-like appearance of her skin enhancing her toned body, especially the lines of her abs, the sleek muscle softened by subtle curves.

“You don’t get to insult me,” I hiss.

“Not an insult,” Bell says, unconcerned in the face of my anger. “Merely a reminder.”

“If you want to say something, then say it.”

She raises her head, chest arching toward me in an annoyingly distracting way. “You are too focused on the things that go wrong and do not appreciate what you have.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Oh? Your thoughts are open to me.”

“I’m so tired you everyone treating rational fucking concerns like—"

“Whining? Complaining and moping is fine, so long as you expel the doubts and dreads. Instead, you drag them around with you like a dark cloud. Your clan is nothing more than distractions from your gloomy thoughts.”

“That’s not true!”

“Really? When is the last time you’ve spent time with any of your lovers outside of bed?”

I open my mouth, ready to refute her but my memory fails me. I don’t…when is the last time we’ve all done something fun together? Or even when I last did something special for anyone? Saints, it’d have to be before we returned to Quest. Before Victory too, as that was nearly as stressful.

…has it really been months?

All my recent memories are each of them supporting me. Have I even asked how they feel? Alana may have been brought up in the north, and she was a lot more decisive than me when it came to condemning the city, but the innocent lives must be weighing on her. Talia…I doubt it’s affecting her one bit but with Geneva out searching for the Authority and Morgene hogging Bell, she can’t train, can she?

And Kierra. You’d think she’d be the least cause for concern, but I know how deeply her imprisonment affected her. No matter how strange their culture is, she can’t be comfortable around her mother. I wouldn’t blame her if she was scared to death, but she can’t come to me for comfort. Not when I’m moaning and groaning about a little assignment and being leaned on.

I’m terrible.

“Don’t worry, Lou,” Bell purrs under me. “I’m not here to criticize you. I’m the solution.”

“…what?”

“Let me take it away,” she whispers, her full lips somehow appearing soft while smooth as marble. “The doubt. The guilt. The sadness. The weakness. Why should you be burdened with human morality when you are not human anymore? When you are so much more.” Tilting her head, she leans forward and kisses along my chin, her touch incredibly warm, like being kissed by fire. “It doesn’t even have to be forever. One day. One day for everything to be like it was. If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again.”

Wave it all away huh? No more worrying about the future, no more second-guessing. Sounds amazing.

But.

“Lie down.”

Bell immediately follows the order, relaxing onto the bed with a smirk.

“Don’t move,” I say as I release her wrists. She doesn’t twitch a muscle as I shake a finger at her. “Nice try, but no matter how tired or shitty I feel, the rules don’t change. No succubi stirring up my mind.”

Her smirk widens into a smile. “One day, you will have to decide whether you trust us or not.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I don’t trust you. And for your not-so-sneaky attempt at worming into my brain, you get a time out. No limbs or thoughts leave that bed until dinnertime unless we’re in danger or there’s some other kind of emergency.”

She steals Kierra’s pout and it’s almost as devastating as my wife’s. “I only wanted to help, master.”

“Of course you did.” I lean down and kiss her, enjoying the warmth of her mouth. Her tongue tries to chase me as I pull back but that’s it, the poor virtue still under the order to remain still. I chuckle at her pleading gaze as I slip off the bed.

Life isn’t great at the moment and it’s guaranteed to get worse later, but that’s no excuse to be a bad partner.