Maybe a Fake Gintama

Kawaki, sitting back down on the bench, picked up a teacup beside him, blew on it, took a sip, then turned around, squinting and smiling at Hinowa. "So, how is it? Are you surprised that it's me here and not Gintoki, whom you called?"

Hinowa smiled and shook her head. "No, not surprised, just a little taken aback. Isn't this the time when you'd usually be in your room playing games?"

"Yeah, but I got a little bored today," Kawaki said, pulling the latest issue of Jump from his pocket. "So I went out to buy a copy of Jump. Who would have thought that Hunter x Hunter would start serializing again? What a pleasant surprise. So, why did you send them to find Gintoki?"

"Oh, it's just that someone wanted to meet the savior of Yoshiwara," Hinowa replied, shaking her head. "Since Kawaki-san doesn't seem to be very interested in that sort of thing, I thought only Gintoki..."

"No, I'm very interested~" Kawaki cut her off with a smile, squinting his eyes. "Of course, only if it's a woman. But..."

He pointed to Tsukuyo, who was leaning against the wall nearby. "It can't be someone like her."

No sooner had he spoken than two kunai embedded themselves in the side of Kawaki's head, causing a stream of blood to spurt out as he collapsed to the ground with his eyes rolling back.

Tsukuyo, still in her throwing stance, retrieved her smoking pipe, took a light puff, and said, "Even someone like you must have heard of her, right? The legendary oiran of Yoshiwara..."

"No, never heard of her," Kawaki replied calmly as he pulled the kunai from his head. "And even if you talk about some legendary oiran, how different could she be from an ordinary courtesan, aside from being a bit more skilled? Sorry, I'm not interested in that kind of woman. Didn't I already say? I prefer someone proactive..."

"No, I've only heard of the legendary Super Saiyan—the one that Frieza was so afraid of that he destroyed the Saiyan home planet."

Ignoring Kawaki's antics, Hinowa continued, "Kōjō Suzuran, known for her beauty surpassing that of a celestial maiden, and unmatched in song and dance. Although many high-ranking officials spent large sums trying to win her favor, most were sent away after merely being offered a cup of tea."

"Sounds like her power level is pretty high..." Kawaki, now wearing a scouter, murmured to Hinowa, "Probably much higher than yours, right, Nappa?"

"Could you at least consider me as Vegeta, Kawaki-san?" Hinowa replied with a smile.

"Vegeta after transforming into a Great Ape? I could see the resemblance."

No sooner had Kawaki spoken than a cup of hot tea was splashed onto his face.

"So hot!"

"Sorry, sorry, my hand slipped~" Hinowa replied with a forced smile.

"But..." Kawaki wiped his face and spoke softly, "Kōjō... that's quite an ominous name. It sounds like a name for someone who would be easily exploited and pitiful."

Hinowa's hand holding the teacup paused slightly, but she quickly regained her composure and smiled, continuing, "Who knows? But aren't all the women of Yoshiwara the same?"

"Ah, I thought you'd be the type to not understand such things," Kawaki replied casually, stretching his shoulders. "So, what's the deal? Why does this Kōjō... whatever taifu want to meet the savior of Yoshiwara?"

"Probably just to express her gratitude."

"Ah, I see," Kawaki replied calmly as he stood up. "Well, lead the way then. A man who refuses a woman's invitation can't be considered a good man. And... I mentioned this yesterday, Hinowa—I don't care much for overly simple sake."

"I understand."

As Kawaki walked away with Tsukuyo, Hinowa still felt a lingering unease. She thought to herself, "Did I provoke him by being inconsiderate? That look in his eyes..."

...

Kawaki stood by the window in a particular room and spoke without turning around. "Are you planning to stay here, Tsukuyo? I'm not used to having someone watch while I do this and that."

"Don't worry, nothing you expect will happen," Tsukuyo replied coolly, leaning against the doorframe with one arm folded and the other holding her smoking pipe.

"Really?" Kawaki feigned surprise. "I was all set to go head-to-head with her today! Lord Frieza hasn't given up yet!"

"Tch!" Tsukuyo scoffed, rolling her eyes before leaving the room. "I'm heading back. Just don't think about running away—make sure she has a good time until the very end."

"Don't worry, I never beg for mercy first in these situations." Kawaki squinted, raised a finger, and smiled.

But before he could finish, a kunai flew through the door, striking him squarely in the forehead.

...

When Hinowa entered the room, she found Kawaki getting up and wiping the blood from his forehead with a tissue.

"Looks like you're excited, getting this worked up," Hinowa smiled. "I'm sure Taifu Suzuran will be pleased to hear it."

"This isn't a nosebleed," Kawaki replied nonchalantly.

"By the way, where's Tsukuyo?" Hinowa asked, glancing around.

"No idea," Kawaki shrugged.

Did he send... Tsukuyo away? Hinowa thought, wondering, What is this man up to?

At that moment, two young girls kneeling by the door simultaneously announced as they slid open the door.

"Taifu Suzuran has arrived~" ×2

"Oh! It seems she's here!" Hinowa looked toward the door.

A minute later, Kawaki watched in silence, his face darkening, as an older woman entered, pushing the door so hard that the entire sliding door collapsed. Scratching his head, he smiled and said, "Actually, when it comes to saviors, I think Gintoki is more suited. Please wait a moment; I'll go fetch the real savior of Yoshiwara so you can have a delightful evening together with... Taifu Tilting-Over, right?"

"Didn't you volunteer for this?" Hinowa squinted, her smile not reaching her eyes as she looked at Kawaki. "And didn't you just say that a man who refuses a woman's invitation can't be considered a good man, Kawaki-san?"

"No, I just suddenly realized that I've never saved Yoshiwara before," Kawaki said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "I don't remember ever doing such a thing. It's so strange! How could I be labeled as the savior of Yoshiwara without actually saving it? That's too weird! I'm sorry, but I'll go find Yoshiwara's savior for you now. How about you give me a week?"

"Exc...excuse me." Taifu Suzuran struggled to lift her head, then grabbed onto the IV stand beside her to support herself as she shakily stood up. "N-nice... nice to meet you. I... I am... Suzuran... Uh, who am I again?"

"Allow me to introduce you to the legendary oiran, our senior, Taifu Suzuran," Hinowa said with a smile as she grabbed the collar of Kawaki, who had been trying to sneak away.

"Um, Hinowa," Kawaki turned back, speaking unusually gently, "Could we temporarily switch to a different taifu? Nappa would do."

"Oh my, Kawaki-san, you really are mean, teasing me at a time like this," Hinowa laughed, though there was a hint of reproach in her voice. "But that's not possible today. After all, you've already been requested by name."

"Is this a host club?!" Kawaki retorted furiously, pointing at the old Taifu Suzuran, whose back was hunched at a ninety-degree angle. "Even in a host club, they wouldn't accept a guest like that! It feels like if you don't pay attention, she'd just keel over! Her back and her whole body would keel over! I thought she was a taifu who worked with you, Hinowa—one full of energy!"

"Well, actually," Suzuran said, "I'm still an active, full-of-energy taifu, even now."

"Who are you kidding!" Kawaki ranted, veins bulging on his forehead. "How could you still have any customers? The only people visiting you should be doctors! Please, just go back to the repair pod! I'm begging you! A Saiyan's power level doubles after a near-death experience! Believe me!"

"I'm not boasting, but I was a taifu even before Yoshiwara went underground." Suzuran then began to cough violently...