Magical Girl Gunslinger

Chapter 37: Reflection

Previously on Magical Girl Gunslinger...

After finishing her first voluntary Usurpation as a Magical Girl and firming her resolve to save others, the newly christened Moon Bunny makes her way to Arcadia Spire, the central hub and headquarters for Arcadia’s Guardian activities. Despite receiving mixed reactions from various people and Guardians who see her, Mai manages to navigate the fantasy tavern-inspired lobby to finish signing up as an official Magical Girl.

A more experienced attendant guides Mai through the process, helping her sign up for the Guardian Academy and informing her of important information about how the Guardian’s Association functions to support MGs. One such fact is that the Association and other individuals can make requests for Guardians to perform various services, or can ask to buy specific items from a Guardian’s vault. Some of these requests are compensated, offering to pay in money or points, something that almost manages to get Mai’s hopes up, though she quickly tempers that impulse.

Mai also receives a series of welcome gifts such as:

• Magitech earbud communicators.

• An envelope with information on her enrollment into the Guardian Academy.

• A magitech debit card attached to her own personal Guardian bank account.

• 100 point discount card on a purchase from a crafting-type Magical Guardian

• A book listing various support Guardians and their services.

• A mysterious card granting her priority access to AS:D at the Guardian Academy, something Selene said would be best explained at the Academy.

• A waiver for one free basic enchantment for her Astral Shift.

• 1-Year ticket to one free meal a day from the Guardian tavern, including enchanted meals made by support Guardians.

Afterwards, Everglaive’s Familiar Fern collects Mai and leads her to a training room to unlock her Signature Magic. Once there, Everglaive and Naiad give Mai a brief explanation on the different types of Signatures, giving examples and even the true names of their own. One such example is the tragic story of Silver Saintess, a famous and powerful Magical Girl even Mai knows of. Finally, they briefly mention Signature Techniques, powerful and focused applications of a Signature Magic that cause it to function in different ways compared to its basic behavior.

Shortly after, support Magical Girl Bookbear and her polar bear Familiar Yuki arrive to help facilitate the awakening of Mai’s Signature and give her a proper analysis on its abilities afterwards. Following her instructions, Mai enters the training room and sits down, closing her eyes and letting Selene start the process of awakening her Signature. And then, Mai fell…

Nausea and dizziness roiled inside me, my vision blurring into an indistinct kaleidoscope. As I began to fall, the sheer intensity of the vertigo made me squeeze my eyes shut. I reached out on reflex, my flailing hand managing to catch myself on the wall to my right. Somehow, I kept myself from losing my balance completely, but I had to swallow back the bile in my throat to keep myself from vomiting.

Trying to regain control of myself, I forced myself to go through a short breathing routine, counting the seconds as I breathed in through my nose and then let it out from my mouth. Thankfully, the bout passed swiftly, and I sighed softly, blinking my eyes open.

The clean, modern hallways of Sakura High came back into focus. Sliding, Japanese-style doors to the various classrooms on the first floor greeted me alongside cork boards with posters or other announcements decorating the walls. Everything was clean and sleek, portraying an environment untouched by even the concept of dirtiness.

I shook the thought from my head, working through the sudden fog in my mind as I tried to remember what I was doing…

Then I saw a clock, saw that it was near the end of lunch time, and everything clicked together.

I continued my walk through the corridors, moving at a brisk pace towards my goal. A lot of students were in the classrooms I passed, choosing to eat their lunch at their desks instead of the cafeteria. Most had pulled the desks together to form small groups, chatting and laughing in their cliques. Looking at them made something in my ribs ache, but it was easy to ignore under the hunger gnawing at my stomach.

No… the yawning void inside me had gone quite past a simple gnawing. Even though I had just eaten my usual lunch, the thin sandwich had only seemed to increase the intensity of my hunger pangs. It was one of the rare days where my stomach had decided to sharpen its claws to scrape away at my intestines, sending throbbing echoes that flashed like lightning through my bones. The intense, short lived pulses were painful enough to make me clench my teeth even as I worked to keep my face carefully blank.

Keeping my abdominal muscles tight helped as I hurried towards one of the exits. Lunch was almost over, and hopefully, my usual plan would suffice. If not, I would have to settle with drinking as much water as possible before classes resumed. It usually worked as a decent backup plan, but it also tended to leave me feeling uncomfortable and queasy for the rest of the day.

I kept walking, moving past the classrooms to the entrance hall and shoe lockers and passing them without stopping, entering the school right section. As usual, it was empty, letting me pick up my pace. Finally reaching the side exit, I pushed the door open, doing a quick, cursory glance around as Arcadia’s warm September air washed over me.

It was a sunny day, and the light made me squint slightly as I carefully stepped outside. The exit I’d taken was on the right side of the school, which had a wide, upside-down “U” shape, the opening and inside of the U being the entrance courtyard. The perimeter wall that ran around the entirety of the school’s grounds was only twenty meters from me, but the grassy area lining it was so thickly filled with bushes and trees that I could barely see the wall itself through the swaying foliage. Except for the occasional bench set up on either side of the path that led around this side of the school, there wasn’t really anything of note to see.

Thankfully, there was also nobody in sight.

It wasn’t too much of a surprise even though our school let people eat almost anywhere on campus. The classrooms and small cafeteria were the most popular spots along with the roof, courtyard, and the path on the left side of the school that oversaw the larger sports fields. A few cliques liked the area behind the school that led to the gymnasium, pool, and smaller sports areas, but the right side of the school?

There really wasn’t anything to be seen except the path leading from the front to the back. It made it a good spot for couples who wanted some privacy, especially considering the right wing of the school only contained the rooms for the after-school clubs, and they were always empty during school hours. It was fairly common to see couples taking up the benches, talking quietly and giggling. There was usually a teacher that made a habit of walking by occasionally just to make sure nothing too untoward was happening, so it was hardly a completely abandoned spot.

The one exception was at the very end of the lunch period. Most of my classmates tended to make their way back to their classrooms early, leaving a short period of time where nobody was outside.

Taking a look around as I went down the path, I tried to scan over the area one more time just to make sure nobody was nearby.

Of course, that was when my stomach gurgled, a sharp, stabbing pain digging up into my ribs. I squeezed my hands into fists with a wince, stopping in my tracks as a shiver rolled through me. My throat felt tight as I waited for the moment to pass, the trees around me rustling slightly in the wind.

The pain didn’t last long, but as it retreated, it left behind an aching emptiness that made me hurry my steps to the nearest bench, hands placed over my stomach. Once I reached it, I took a final, hurried glance around, but saw nobody.

So I moved past the bench, closer to the school where none of the cameras were directly pointed, and I looked into the trash can next to it.

Because the right path around the school was hardly ever used, the trash cans themselves were usually pretty empty. Nobody really came to the area before school, so the garbage bins only really got any use at lunch or after school.

Which meant that if there was anything inside them, it was relatively fresh and hadn’t landed in a pile of gunk that had been there for hours. There were exceptions, of course, but today was Thursday.

And I knew for a fact that Mi-yeon and Abby from my class regularly came out here on Thursdays. Both girls were part of the swim club and usually ate healthy, but a while ago, I’d overheard them talking about how Thursday was their cheat day when they would buy something from the school canteen.

Thankfully, both were too health-conscious to go all out, so they usually only chose some finger food they would pick at and share but never come close to finishing off completely.

And if the trend with those two continues to hold…

I fought down a relieved smile as I saw the only things in the trash were a large carton of French fries and a smaller container with some chicken tenders. The carton had landed face up, leaving most of its contents unspilled.

I reached in, carefully grabbing the carton of fries and extracting them slowly. Once I had them out, I gave them a quick look over just to make sure there were no bugs or anything on them. There usually wasn’t, but it was a habit I couldn’t shake. Grabbing food from the trash was already a step further than I liked, but…

It was ridiculous how many of my classmates liked to waste food. The container of fries I was holding was barely half-finished, and I knew for a fact the school offered smaller portions at the canteen. I wasn’t sure why Mi-yeon and Abby always got the largest food servings when they never seemed to finish them off. It was just so… wasteful.

Too wasteful for me not to take advantage of.

Besides, it wasn’t like I was diving in a dumpster. I’d done plenty of research, scoping out these trash cans for over two weeks, so I knew for fact that they were usually pristine until lunch. It really wasn’t that different from me picking up the food from it being set on a table even if it felt like it…

And… and I was hungry. So hungry it hurt. Even if there were a small amount of germs, it was more than a worthwhile trade, and I hadn’t gotten sick yet.

My inspection of the fries finished as my stomach grumbled again, and I couldn’t take waiting anymore.

So I began eating.

I was usually very conscious of my table manners and the speed that I ate, but I didn’t have the luxury. There wasn’t much time left in the lunch period, and I would have to hurry if I wanted to finish both the fries and chicken before I needed to start heading back to my classroom.

Shoveling the fries into my mouth, I barely registered their taste. They were lukewarm, a little too salty, and even though fries were the most common food I scavenged…

They were still delicious.

They always were.

After a few handfuls, my stomach began to unclench, and I breathed out a soft sigh, relaxing into the feeling. The fries were already doing a lot of work, and I hadn’t even gotten to the chicken yet. As I grabbed another handful, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would have time to look through the other trash cans. There usually wasn’t things as easy to-

The sound of giggling made my thoughts screech to a stop.

I stiffened, breath hitching in my throat.

Then my head snapped up towards where the sound was coming from.

“Aww, you gave it away!” a voice laughed from the bushes in front of the perimeter wall.

Leaves rustled, and figures rose from where they were laying behind the foliage.

The first was tall, her uniform blazer tied around her waist. She had blonde hair cut into a pixie cut, revealing an eager grin on her face.

Tasha, the sporty brute.

Two others rose, both with identical faces, but one was taller than the other and wore her auburn hair longer.

Morgan and Madison, the twin jackals.

Another carefully made their way through, the mousy figure brushing leaves from her black hair as she adjusted her big glasses.

Aiko, the mousy watcher.

And then a final figure pushed her way through the bushes. She had long blonde hair that was curled just enough to be wavy, a smooth and unblemished face, bright viridian eyes, a thin smirk on her face, and…

And she was holding out a cellphone, its camera pointed right at me.

“Well, well, well,” Katie Bennet murmured with a too-wide grin. “I honestly can’t say I was expecting this, but I really shouldn’t be surprised.”

Cold washed through me, my heart pounding in my ears as they approached.

They were here.

Katie’s clique of popular girls were here.

Katie who had been hounding me since middle school for no apparent reason.

Katie who I finally had stood up to two weeks ago, calling her a petty bully in front of her friends and half my homeroom.

Katie who currently had a phone out, recording everything they saw.

And they saw me.

They saw everything.

A jolt of electricity shot through my bones as panic and horror made my heart plummet. Without thinking, I dropped the fries, turning to run and get away as fast as I could.

I only made it a few steps before I was caught, Tasha easily sprinting to catch me. Fingers dug into my shoulder as she locked one of my arms behind my back in a painful motion that jolted my shoulder. I stumbled, and Morgan took the chance to catch my other arm, snickering loudly.

“Oh no, you don’t just get to leave,” she laughed. “Not when we have so many questions!”

The feeling of their restraining touch was nauseating, an uncomfortable, tingling fire burning against my skin along with the pressure they were using to hold me still. It scraped against my nerves, begging me to struggle, to try to escape, to get them away.

But it was useless. Tasha and Morgan were part of the basketball and tennis clubs respectively. There was no escaping them.

My breath felt caught in my chest, heart racing wildly as the two twisted me around to face the others. I bit back a yelp of pain as my arm was wrenched into an even more painful position, stumbling as I tried to keep my balance. Katie looked at me with a smug, satisfied grin while Madison and Aiko watched from her sides.

“Hello, Mai Kuroki,” Katie said loudly, leaning slightly closer to her outstretched phone as she said my name. “I would say it's nice to see you, but we both know that’s not true, especially after what we just saw.”

Tasha and Morgan snickered while Madison gagged dramatically. Shame, fear, and anger filled me, my cheeks burning. I tried to retort, to say anything, but the words remained locked away behind the deep, sinking sensation in my gut that…

That my world was falling apart.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

“Honestly, I always knew you were a little off,” Katie shrugged. “What, with the whole crazy eyes and eyepatch thing, but when Aiko told me what she thought she saw you doing, I just knew we had to see for ourselves!”

The smaller girl looked uncomfortable at the mention of her name, crossing one arm over her chest and looking away.

“Talk about gross!” Madison chirped. “Digging through the trash to eat other people’s leftovers? Could you be any more disgusting? Who does that?”

“I was wondering the same thing,” Katie agreed gleefully. “It took me a bit of thinking, but I think I know what’s going on.”

She paused, and I felt everything in me lock up. Horror flooded my veins as I stared into Katie’s eyes.

Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t-

“See, poor, weird little Mai here only ever brings half a sandwich for lunch,” Katie continued, ignoring my silent pleas. “Everyone knows it, how she takes her time daintily eating such a small portion like she’s royalty. It’s no wonder she’s practically starving sometimes.”

“But why dig through the trash for scraps?” Madison asked with genuine confusion. “She could just bring more food to eat or pay for something at the cafeteria.”

“Maybe it's her fetish?” Tasha sneered, and the others cackled, making my cheeks warm further as fury sparked inside me.

“No, it’s more simple than that,” Katie shook her head. “Think about it. Mai always acts all perfect and stoic, like she’s better than the rest of us. Even when we try to be friends with her, all she does is ignore us. Her eating that tiny amount of food is just another little slight towards everyone. It’s her trying to show she’s the perfect little princess, that she’s untouchable, that she’s above everyone else. Of course, constantly eating such a small amount of food means that she sometimes underestimates her hunger, so she has to go digging for scraps when nobody is looking. It’s all about image for her. She does this to herself, really.”

Indignant rage flashed inside me, igniting into a bonfire, tears stinging at the back of my eyes as I glared at Katie. I wanted to yell, to scream at her, to ask if bullying me made her feel like she was powerful when the fact was that she was just a coward.

And yet…

I couldn’t get a single word past my lips, shame and despair wrapping around my throat like a noose.

“Ew,” Madison wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Think she’s one of those weirdos who throws up their food in the toilet afterwards too?”

A flicker of something I couldn’t read flashed across Katie’s face, grimacing for a second before she smoothed it back into her usual smug expression.

“Maybe…” Katie said thoughtfully, eyes flicking down and over me for a moment before her lips quirked into a smirk. “Honestly, I bet she’s trying to keep herself tiny and cute so everyone pities her. It’s not like she has anything else going for her in the looks department.”

“True!” Morgan snickered, adjusting her grip on my arm. “She’s flat as a board! Going for the pity play is probably the only way she’ll get someone to even consider going out with her.”

They laughed, humiliation scorching my face scarlet.

My hands squeezed into fists, shame flashing through my bones.

I tried to remember to breathe as needles scraped the lining of my heart raw.

More comments came, thorned barbs that I tried to ignore. Anxiety, fear, and anger swirled into nausea, and it was all I could do to keep my food down as they tore into me. I tried to keep my expression blank like I usually did when they cornered me in the halls to make fun of me.

But the fact that Katie had recorded me eating from the trash and was still filming kept coming back. Even if she had made the wrong assumptions, it was still humiliating enough. Even if she shared the video and nobody guessed something else was going on…

Everyone would see it.

Lily would see.

Would she think I was disgusting? That I was the freak Katie said I was, that I sometimes felt like? She probably wouldn’t even want to be near me anymore. Even if she did…

I don’t think I could handle whatever half-disgusted, half-pitying look she’d give me.

“So… Mai-chan,” Katie purred, her sickly sweet tone drawing me from my spiraling thoughts. “Now that we know each other a little better, I think it would be best if we came to an understanding.”

Despite the grin on her face, her eyes were cold as they flicked across my face, searching for any hints in my expression.

“See, it really hurt me when you said those nasty things to me, especially when all of us have wanted nothing more than to be your friend despite your… weirdness.”

I bit down on my cheek, pushing down the feeble retort trying to push past the lump in my throat.

“So here’s how this is going to work,” Katie continued, gesturing to her phone. “All this petty resistance you give us? The silent treatment, the cold looks, the not-so-witty retorts? It stops. Now.”

Cold steel shone through her tone, the sudden sharpness making me stiffen.

“No more of this useless rebellion. We tell you to do something, you do it. We want you to do our after-school cleaning duty, you don’t complain. We decide we want to tease you or someone else, you don’t argue, you laugh and take it like a good sport, like everybody else does. Because you aren’t special. You aren’t some untouchable princess. You’re just like the rest of us.”

I…

I had no idea what she was talking about.

Katie and her friends were the one who took every chance she could to tear me down. Petty insults, tripping me in the hallway, spilling drinks and food on me, loudly making vicious rumors where I could hear them, stealing my school supplies, making me go buy snacks for them…

All I ever did was try to ignore them, to pretend their schoolyard barbs didn’t catch on my skin and tear. I tried to tell myself it would pass and just put up with the paper cut cruelty they insisted on making me endure. It didn’t matter if my classmates believed their lies and avoided me when they weren’t taking their own pound of flesh.

I could bear it. Survive it. Ignore it.

And the only times I’d ever approached Katie was the few times her clique turned their venom on somebody else, and it was only to quietly ask them to stop. I didn’t make a big scene or try to immediately get them in trouble, just… I tried to make them stop.

Because the others they had tried to target?

They weren’t like me.

Jason was an awkward boy, puberty hitting him hard. He was a gangly, pimply mess that struggled talking about anything but the latest anime or manga, and he tended to get easily flustered when a girl was talking to him, tripping over his words and stuttering.

Morgan and Madison ganging up to make fun of him and call him creepy was just… too much. The look of hurt and panic I’d seen on his face made it clear he was about to break. Me quietly asking them to leave him alone ended with them “spilling” cold coffee on my homework later, then getting Jason to back up their story that I was the one who did it to hide the fact I hadn’t actually done the worksheet.

Aiko hadn’t always been part of Katie’s clique. She was quiet, shy, and smart enough to get some of the best grades in our year. She was more at home with her face buried in a book, not trading tips on makeup or gossiping.

Tasha had tried to strongarm her into doing an essay so she could prepare more for a basketball tournament. I could tell that Tasha’s grip around Aiko’s arm was too much, that she was hurting the smaller girl. When I stepped up to tell Tasha that it would be obvious the essay wasn’t hers, I’d gotten shoved into the library shelves and caused a bunch of books to fall on me. When the librarian came to see what was going on, Aiko backed up Tasha’s story that I’d tripped.

There were a few others, people not in my homeroom but part of my grade who Katie had tried going after. I didn’t always know them as well, not having had as much time to observe them, but it didn’t matter in the end. Watching the pain, embarrassment, or anger twist their face at the smallest of Katie’s insults was all I needed to see that they weren’t like me. They were getting hurt, and…

And I knew what pain was like.

I knew, and I didn’t want them to experience it.

Seeing it happen to others made my stomach clench, thorns wrapping around my lungs until I inevitably intervened.

It didn’t matter that they inevitably turned on me and joined Katie’s group if only tangentially.

Because they still didn’t deserve it.

They couldn’t take it.

They weren’t like me.

“From here on out,” Katie continued, lips curling into a satisfied smirk, “we’re going to be the best of friends. Of course, as your friends, we won’t tell or show anybody a thing about your… hobby. We’ll do you a favor, because that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Madison giggled. “Though, you’ll be doing favors for us too. I can think of plenty of things we could use a good friend’s help with.”

“Obviously,” Katie agreed with a roll of her eyes, before turning to me. “So, Mai-chan. Do we understand each other? You help us, we help you, because you clearly need it. Agreed?”

I swallowed, the mixture of shame, rage, and despair overwhelming. Part of me wanted to spit in her face and ignore the consequences.

But if she shared the video… the commotion it would cause…

Even beyond Lily, if the teachers saw it and shared it with Father…

Goosebumps rippled over my skin, heart stuttering.

The defiance in me disintegrated, leaving me hollow and aching.

“Okay…” I whispered as my gaze dropped, the word tasting bitter on my tongue.

“Good,” Katie purred. “I’m glad we finally understand each other, and, honestly, this will be good for you. We’ll make sure you don’t continue your disgusting trash eating and or any of the other creepy things you do. I know it’s such a struggle for you, but I promise, you’ll at least be able to act normal by the end of the year.”

I clenched my teeth, forcing myself to stay quiet. When it became clear I wasn’t going to respond, Katie sighed, glancing at the phone she still had recording me before shrugging.

“Alright, I guess it will be a work in progress. You can let her go now, girls. It’s about time for us to get back to class anyway.”

Morgan let go quickly, sashaying over to her twin. I almost sighed with relief as the pressure disappeared.

But then I realized Tasha hadn’t let go yet.

“Tasha?” Katie asked, frowning.

“Honestly, I’m a little curious,” Tasha sneered, something in her voice making my heart drop. “With how much effort the freak is putting into her screwed up diet, I kind of want to see just how well it's working.”

It took me a moment for her words to register, but by then one of her hands had let go of my arm, snaking to grab the bottom of my blazer and my shirt underneath.

“Wait-” Katie tried to say, but Tasha was already pulling.

I tried to struggle out of her grip, throwing myself to the side with all my weight, but her free hand simply clamped tighter and yanked me back. A cry escaped me as her fingers dug hard enough into my skin to bruise.

And by then it was too late.

Cold air bruised against my stomach and lower ribs as Katie tugged my blazer and shirt up to my chest.

I froze.

My breath vanished.

Ice crystalized in my veins.

Silence framed the moment for a few perfect seconds, underscored only by a soft wind rustling the leaves.

“Oh my god!” Madison finally gagged. “Look at her! You can see her bones!”

“Ew,” Morgan’s face twisted in disgust. “I can count her ribs from here.”

“Damn, girl,” Tasha cackled. “You’re more of a stick figure than a human.”

“Right!? She looks more like some of those creepy Anathema that are practically just skeletons.”

“Shit, she is, isn’t she? She doesn’t just act like a freak, she looks like one too. As if her eyes weren’t bad enough…”

“Are we sure she isn’t actually some Anathema infiltrator?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Those things are supposed to be strong and actually good at blending in. She’s obviously too pathetic to be one.”

“Too weird, too!”

They laughed, the sound clawing into me. Each comment was a weight added to my shoulders, each observation carving into me, humiliation and helplessness seeping in to fill the broken void inside me. The world around me began to blur as my eyes watered, but I wouldn’t let my unshed tears fall where they could see them.

I looked up to see Katie and Aiko both looking at me with wide eyes, neither of them saying anything. Neither of them had joined in with the others, simply staring at me in shock.

And somehow, that was just as bad.

“Wait, is that her heartbeat? Tell me I’m not seeing things?”

“Holy shit! Look at how clearly you can see it!”

“Gross! No wonder she’s exempt from gym class. They probably banned her to spare the rest of us from having to see her in the locker room.”

Another round of laughter followed, and I felt Tasha’s grip on my arm finally weaken as she shifted to get a better look at me.

The building rage combined with desperation, and I let the dam inside me burst.

I stomped down on her foot, digging my heel in with what little weight I had even as I twisted away from her. She yelped, probably more in surprise than pain, and I spun free. Immediately, I started sprinting away, pushing every muscle in my body to get me away.

“Ow! Hey, stop you-”

“Let her go!” Katie quickly interrupted, voice fading as I kept running. “We have what we came for… She probably needs to find more trash to eat anyway.”

Mocking laughter followed me as I ran, my surroundings blurring as the tears I’d been holding back finally spilled free. I barely paid attention to my surroundings, simply letting my legs carry me as far away as possible.

I made it behind the gymnasium before I ran out of breath. Gasping for air, I leaned against the building.

Slowly, I felt my adrenaline fade, the desperation and fury that had been fueling me melting away. Without it, my strength evaporated, and I fell to my knees as the full weight of what happened sunk into my bones.

I’d tried. Ever since middle school, I’d tried to ignore Katie’s torments. Even if it hadn’t worked, things hadn’t been that bad…

So why?

Why had I stood up to her two weeks ago?

Because enduring it was worse than I wanted to admit.

I bit down on my lip, eyes squeezing shut.

Because she had ruined something I was once again going to have to pay money to replace.

Tears trickled wet trails down my cheeks.

Because for once… I wanted to be strong… like Lily.

And now everything had fallen apart.

Katie’s video… it would ruin everything if she shared it. Most of the students in my grade only avoided me due to her rumors, but if they saw the video, they’d join in with the classmates from my homeroom in tormenting me. A teacher would eventually realize something was going on, and then…

Then they would see, and even if they made the same incorrect assumptions as Katie…

Everything would still be ruined, because Father would find out I’d messed up again.

Katie had me trapped.

Ignoring her, stopping her from bullying other students, trying to just get through my day and forget about their pettiness…

It was over.

I felt a pressure building in my lungs, a frantic chaos that demanded to be released, so I lifted my arm and bit down on my forearm even as I took a deep breath.

And then I screamed, hoping my sleeve would muffle the sound.

Reality rippled.

Then it shattered.

Black thorned vines made of shimmering energy ripped through the ground, violet outlining their shape in a baleful glow. Where the vines touched, the world disintegrated, spreading darkness that washed through the world in a wave of annihilation.

I gasped, the school around me shattering apart as the vines tore through reality to reveal the city beyond suffering the same fate. Skyscrapers disintegrated in the distance, shadows spreading even to the sky. I felt the ground underneath me disappear, grass giving way to a thin layer of water.

Before I could even grasp what was happening, the destruction was complete, over in a matter of seconds.

I was left in a world of shadows, the only light belonging to the purple glow of the thorned vines. Even then, most of them began to dissipate, slowly breaking apart into particles before disappearing. Only a few clusters remained, water reflecting their dim violet light.

Quiet smothered the world, the only sound coming from the snapping electricity that occasionally arced between the thorns.

I sat there, in the void of loneliness left by reality’s ruination, uncomprehending and not daring to breathe as even my heart seemed to freeze in my chest.

Then, perfectly bisected by the horizon, an eldritch eclipse bloomed with the bass sound of exploding static and shattering glass.

It was huge, many sizes larger than a normal eclipse. The ring of fire that should have been the sun peeking behind the moon had the same baleful violet color of the vines, the light reflecting off the water and tinting the world. Across the half circle of darkness that should have been the moon were scars of similar purple light, cracks that took the same shape of the thorned vines and wrapped around the moon almost like chains.

I stared, my mouth dry and heart pounding as I tried to understand-

“Hello.”

My head snapped towards the sudden voice.

Sitting on one of the vines as if they weren’t made of shadowy lightning was a girl.

A girl that looked almost exactly like me.

Small. Petite. Pale skin. Black hair. She had no eyepatch, revealing vivid, heterochromatic eyes of red and blue that shone in the dim light.

But her hair was longer than mine and tied up into twintails that fell to her waist. Moreover, instead of a school uniform, she wore a black and purple dress in a Gothic, Victorian style. It was elaborate, something that wouldn’t look out of place on a Magical Girl…

Magical Girl…

Something about that thought made me freeze.

Magical Girl… contract… Usurpation… the mall… shelter… Death Wish…

The pieces snapped together, and I remembered.

The school and Katie’s blackmail… everything I’d just experienced… It was all just a memory. In reality, I had just been in Arcadia Spire unlocking my Signature Magic, and now…

Now I was facing her, the girl I’d seen a few times before in my dreams but never remembered.

During my contract with Selene, after I’d made it to the shelter with Brian, when I’d made it back after the Arachnomantis…

She’d been there, trapped within the lightning thorns.

But now she was free, wearing my Magical Girl costume.

I scrambled to my feet, taking a few quick steps back as fear pulled my chest tight.

“What are you?” I asked, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart.

The thing smiled softly, seemingly unconcerned by my suspicion.

“I’m the unsung and unheeded parts of you given form. Though… more restricted. More knowledgeable. Your Soul Gem has done much to help shape me. The Zenith really are exceptional at turning the inevitable into boons…”

She trailed off as if pondering that thought before slowly shaking her head.

“But that doesn’t answer you, not really. To put it simply, I’m another tool the Zenith have given to aid you, another magical construct, one very similar to a Familiar.”

My eyes flicked around, looking for any danger, but the construct seemed content to kick her legs idly from her perch. Something about the relaxed explanation coming from somebody who looked like me was unsettling, twisting knots in my muscles.

“But… I already have Selene, so why would I need another magical construct?”

She hummed thoughtfully, but the smile adorning her face turned sad.

“Magic is the power of creation given shape by reality’s expectations alongside the caster’s will, focus, and imagination. Tell me…”

The crack of thunder made me jump as purple-black lightning struck next to the construct, fading in a flash that left behind a frozen, monochrome figure. I twitched as I realized it was Katie, her phone pointed at me with a smirk. If it weren’t for the statue’s complete lack of movement, I would have sworn it was her.

“Do you want to set Katie on fire?”

My head snapped to the construct, eyes wide.

“What?”

“Do you want to hurt the girl who has been tormenting you? Do you want to see her burn, to make her experience even a fraction of the hurt she’s inflicted on you?”

“I… N-no…”

Because… as much as I hated what she’d put me through… wanting to hurt her felt… sick.

I mean… there were moments, brief instances where my anger flared up, and the thought of retaliating would cross my mind. Just a slap, or a shove to let her know how I felt about her bullying. At most, I might have wanted to throw a punch to try to give her a bloody nose.

But outside of that? When I was away from her, thinking about things with a clear head?

I didn’t… maybe I wished she would get in trouble or something, but pain?

I just… Some people definitely deserved to hurt for what they did… but…

It was hard for me to imagine doing that, inflicting something I was familiar enough to hate on someone else.

“Partial truth,” the thing tilted her head. “But not the whole truth, is it? Because things aren’t quite that simple.

My stomach dropped, and I shook my head vehemently.

“I wouldn’t-”

“Of course not, but that doesn’t change how you feel, does it?”

The silence that followed was more telling than a thousand books, but I couldn’t work a denial out of my throat. The construct of me simply nodded, and the statue of Katie disintegrated into ash.

“Magic is fueled by magical energy. Emotions are one such source, but they are hardly ever simple, focused things. Anger can be as righteous as it is cruel. Love can be as kind as it is twisted. Competitiveness can be as invigorating as it is stifling. A living being’s will is more than just what they act on, and in someone capable of casting magic… what happens to the instincts that are ignored, the fears that are buried, and that sorrow that is left to fester? What happens to that magical energy when it is shoved down and ignored? When part of the caster still wants to act on their more baser feelings?”

She spread her hands, the smile lopsided as she stared me in the eyes.

“Magic may shine with the light of creation, but even that light still casts a Shadow.”

I shuddered, the emphasis on the term apparent. The water around me rippled almost in a sympathetic reaction as the construct continued.

“All casters eventually develop a Shadow. It’s a simple equation, really. Magic is creation fueled by magical energy. Emotions can create magical energy. Live long enough, bury enough subconscious desires and feelings, and eventually enough is fed into the creation of a magical construct to ask the questions you refuse to directly answer. For a natural magic user, this process can lead to… complications. Thankfully, due to the Zenith’s Soul Gem, there are safeguards to help prevent any accidents from happening.”

Processing her words, I carefully cleared my throat.

“So you’re… my subconscious?”

“Partially, but not quite. I’m more of a representative than the actual thing. Your Soul Gem provided a framework for me to fill so I could speak and assist you in a much more lucrative way than a normal Shadow, giving me knowledge and restrictions to better aid you. For example, now that I’ve fully manifested, there won’t be any more cryptic dream meetings you can’t quite remember. Just us occasionally… conversing.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I could feel the tension in me bleeding away as I considered my Shadow’s words. The explanations seemed to make sense… and considering the fact I’d ended up going through all of this while going through a mysterious ritual to unlock my Signature magic… things seemed to be adding up.

Except…

“You said… you exist because magic casters inevitably develop a Shadow… and my Soul Gem helped program you to be more… coherent and… helpful?”

She nodded at my summary, a motion I slowly returned.

“But… helpful with what?”

“Trauma.”

I flinched at the blunt reply, my Shadow’s smile slipping away completely.

“The vast majority of people that are biologically and psychologically compatible with becoming a Magical Girl are young. Twelve to twenty is the sweet spot. Anomalies exist, yes, but that still means the vast majority of humans the Zenith are equipping to fight nightmares incarnate are children. The things they will see, experience, and be forced to deal with… you have a better idea than most what this war will mean. The loss… the pain… the despair. All of this is forced mostly upon children.”

My mouth felt dry, the image of the Archnomantis room flashing through my mind, the lone gun in a puddle of blood. Then the blurry moments of losing my arm, and the realizations afterward about what was responsible for everything going wrong…

“A Shadow does two main things to help alleviate this horrific fact,” she continued quietly. “First, I help suppress the immediate effects of trauma. I take some of the shock and haunting scars and hold onto them, smoothing things out by slowly having you untangle those emotions over a longer period of time.”

She lifted her hand, gently reaching out with a finger to harshly poke at one of the vine’s thorns, causing a loud snap and flash of electricity. Pausing for a moment, she then gently pressed her fingertip to it, a low, almost imperceptible hum filling the air as tiny arcs of purple-black lightning danced at the point of contact.

“Some people, like you, already have some experience in compartmentalization, but for those Guardians that don’t have such an ability, or for traumatic events beyond normal coping mechanisms, a Shadow steps in. When you lost your arm, for instance. Part of the reason you’ve been able to function so normally is because I’m evening out the coping and healing process.”

My hand went to rub my arm, a phantom chill scaling down my skin that made my Shadow nod.

“Expect muted sensations like that. Some nightmares, too. As cruel as it may sound, it’s to help your body and mind process what happened in a healthy manner.”

“So you can… suppress my emotions?” I asked with nausea curling in my belly, but she quickly shook her head.

“Not quite. I’m a director of the psychological consequences you suffer after a traumatic event. I assist you in dealing with your experiences at a pace you can handle without succumbing to things like PTSD or other such disorders. In simple terms… instead of suffering a sudden burst of damage, I stretch it out over a longer period of time. It also bears mentioning that most Magical Girls don’t even fully manifest a Shadow until they’ve had months of experience and notable trauma to necessitate one. But for Darks who’ve already been tempered even before becoming a Guardian, and for you, a Dark that was thrown in a Death Wish on their first day…”

Oh.

Right… She was a magical construct formed out of parts of me, so of course she would know everything about me. She would know what I’ve been through, and-

“Don’t spiral,” she commanded, and I froze at the ice in her voice. “I might be more connected to you than your Familiar, but I’m also more restricted. Other than talking to you and managing the scars of your mindscape, there is nothing I can do without your command. Even with your approval, my options of affecting the outside world are limited to one, but that’s a talk for another time. What you need to know is that I’m an interface for parts of you. I may have form and speak, but I’m no individual. Just a tool. A small but necessary piece that prevents a very large problem.”

That… did make me feel better. Part of me was sickened that my Shadow’s lack of freedom gave me ease, but… if she really wasn’t a person, just a construct, a reflection of my inner psyche…

I blinked, a few snippets I’d missed before slotting into place.

Reflection room. It was a term I remember seeing when I first made my contract and then again when I was creating my Astral Shift’s costume for the first time. This… this must have been what it was talking about?

“Two main things…” I murmured, as realization dawned on me. “You said Shadows do two main things. You don’t just regulate trauma, you’re here to make me reflect on it.”

She nodded, her soft smile returning.

“Which is why you just experienced that memory. You can lie or not talk to your Familiar, but what about facing a direct aspect of yourself? It’s much harder to ignore problems when confronted with facts you can’t deny. We’ve already been through one such session after your amputation, do you remember?”

I did. Her questions on why I did things the way I did, on why I trusted people… Now that I could properly remember the encounter, I couldn’t help but wonder if that was how I’d been so composed when I awoke.

Well, relatively composed, anyway…

“You begin to see,” she nodded. “A Familiar aides a Magical Girl in the waking world. A Shadow manages their burdens so they may have peace in their inner.”

I bit back my instinctive response to that, swallowing down my anger.

I didn’t ask for that.

Having a Familiar was one thing. Everyone knew about them, and even if my contract was an emergency I didn’t have much choice in accepting, I didn’t regret it. Besides, Selene had done everything in her power so far to be helpful, thoughtful, and kind beyond what I could have ever expected. Linked as we were, she’d still gone above and beyond on honoring my privacy as much as possible regardless of the implications.

And after the mall… I’d known Selene for less than a day’s worth of time, but I knew I could offer her a sizable amount of trust. While I was still worried about what was bound to come up in the future, she had been nothing but patient, letting me tell her things on my own time. Hopefully that would continue.

But this? My Shadow? I didn’t sign up for some artificial therapist that would be intimately aware of all my fears and secrets, and I frankly didn’t want one. I’d been just fine so far, hadn’t I? Selene knowing so much about me still made me uneasy even after everything we’d been through.

However… my Shadow had said she could only affect the outside world in one way, and even that would require my permission. If she really couldn’t spill my secrets to anybody, something I would be confirming with Selene after I was out of here, then this wasn’t an absolute catastrophe. As much as I disliked this, it was salvageable.

“If you’re going here to make me reflect, should I expect a meeting anytime I make a decision I’m not completely sure about?”

I couldn’t quite keep the frustration from my voice as I questioned her, but she simply shook her head, shifting slightly on the vine she was sitting on.

“A Shadow’s purpose isn’t to subvert. It is to bear the burdens too sharp to handle and to give voice to the vague questions tearing apart your subconscious so they can be properly defined and answers sought. I ask about what you ignore so the magic flowing through your veins doesn’t accidentally tear your psyche in two trying to follow your conscious and subconscious wills separately. In the end, a Shadow is unity through dissonance. I make you aware of contradictions and problems you are struggling with so you can firm your resolve.”

That… sounded frustratingly reasonable, especially with everything she’d already said about magic being the embodiment of creation. If Shadows really were inevitable in magic wielders, I could stomach it as a necessary consequence.

I didn’t have to like it to keep moving forward.

“I understand,” I told my Shadow before taking a slow breath in. “If we’re meeting now… Is there something we need to talk about?”

“Nothing urgent. This meeting is more of a side-effect of the ritual to unlock your Signature. When a Shadow is ready to fully form but hasn’t had the chance, the ritual process that draws out your Signature also establishes their form. There wasn’t really a need for us to meet just yet, I was managing things just fine even in my unfinished state. But…”

She paused, head tilting as she considered something. Every moment of silence caused my anxiety to tie another knot up my stomach and into my chest.

“You’ve been pushing some thoughts away,” she spoke slowly, her oddly serene voice sounding even more gentle. “About the future. About reunions and returns. About Selene and her response.”

I went still.

Dread crawled through me like dozens of grasping hands, fingers of ice freezing every muscle and nerve and bone wherever they touched. Frozen chains wrapped around my lungs, squeezing until the only breaths I took were small, silent things.

I settled into the feeling with practiced familiarity, letting the calmness of inevitability ease the biting frost and blunt the stabbing icicles working their way into my heart.

Forcing a deep breath in, I simply gave my Shadow a slow nod that she returned.

“Lily. You don’t blame her for the shelter, not even a little. Instead, you’re more scared that things might have changed. That she won’t accept you. That she’ll treat you differently after everything that happened.”

She wasn’t wrong.

It was stupid. I knew it was, but that didn’t stop the whispers in the dark corners of my skull. It was just, after everything that happened, I couldn’t help but worry something would change between us.

And I didn’t want it to. Change could be good or bad, and I didn’t want that gamble when I knew which way the world liked to stack the deck. I was more than content with how things were.

“I have no wisdom that will calm your heart here,” my Shadow shook her head. “But try to have faith while bracing for the worst. Lily has not let us down yet.”

It was good advice. There weren’t many things I extended even a small amount of trust to, but Lily had earned that much.

My Shadow seemed to sense my resolve firming, and she smiled with a small dip of head in acknowledgement.

“Then there’s your return and-”

“Stop.”

She paused, and I took a shuddering breath in.

“I know… I know that meeting with Father is going to be a thing, that Selene will have opinions. There’s no way around it. It’s going to happen, and I’ll deal with it. Agonizing about possibilities more than I already have won’t help.”

My Shadows watched me with an empty expression. It was unnerving to see the mask I usually wore around others directed at me.

“Okay,” she finally agreed after several seconds of quiet. “But know, even in the worst case scenario, it won’t be as bad as you fear. Familiars attached to Guardians have restrictions, after all.”

“What?” I furrowed my brows, and my Shadow sighed.

“Another thing not yet covered due to the emergency contract,” she shook her head sadly. “Allow me a brief explanation. When designing Familiars for humanity, the Zenith realized forcefully attaching an intelligent creature to aid a Guardian would not be taken well no matter how helpful they are. Humans would see it as a manipulation, a way for the Zenith to subvert and control Guardians, to pry into their secrets and lives and possibly share them. So safeguards had to be given, concessions to make sure Familiars weren’t infringing on their Guardian’s will or privacy. There are many rules, but only the five main ones are worth mentioning right now.”

She held up her hand, fingers slowly going up as she spoke.

“One: Familiars are subservient to their Guardian. They are to guide with faithful advice, not make their decisions for them.”

“Two: Familiars can conceal information from their Guardian if they believe it is in their best interests, but they may never outright lie to them unless it is to follow another restriction.”

“Three: Familiars may not spy on other Guardians for the purpose of finding out information about them, and they may not share other Guardian’s personal information, especially anything that might be used to uncover a Guardian’s civilian identity. ”

“Four: A Familiar may not attack and dissipate the summoned form of another Familiar. They also aren’t allowed to point out other Guardian’s Familiars when they are using stealth magic to hide themselves unless they are interfering with their Guardian in some shape or form.”

“Five: Familiars must obey the orders of their Guardian and may not work to undermine them or go against their intentions even if they are unstated. The only exception is if following their Guardian’s orders would violate one of their other restrictions.”

She paused as realization and relief flooded me in equal measure, giving me a moment before she continued.

“Should a Familiar break one of these rules, the magical bond between Guardian and Familiar will be severed, and the Familiar will be destroyed by the backlash.”

I recoiled as she closed her hand into fist, squeezing tight before she loosened her grip and returned her hand to resting on her lap.

“A magical creature constructed from the very essence of trust cannot survive turning on its origin, no matter the context, no matter the reason. If things go as poorly as you fear, simply give Selene an order. She will not break it lest she break herself.”

The relief I’d been feeling that Selene would follow a direct order turned to horror and shame, and ugly mixture bubbled in my belly. It turned acidic when I realized there was still a part of me that was happy the consequences were so severe.

Because it meant my secrets were safe.

All it cost was the free will of another.

Of someone I thought could actually be more than just my advisor, but an actual friend.

My hand clenched into fists as I struggled to keep my gorge down. A dozen excuses and rationalizations shot through my head.

I never asked for a Familiar, Selene knew what she was agreeing to when we contracted, none of the restrictions were things I put on her myself…

None of them made me feel better.

“Our time is almost up,” my Shadow murmured. “Your Signature is finalizing faster than I expected… ah. I see… an Aspect so far developed already, so actualized… No matter. We shall talk again when the time comes. Until then, I do apologize for any nightmares or phantom pains I send your way, even if they are necessary for proper healing. Now, prepare yourself Mai.”

“For what?” I asked, apprehension growing inside me at her sudden change in topics.

Her expression turned sad.

“For what you loath but have learned to bear…”

I began to feel an odd tingle on my skin even as the water around us started to shiver. Eldritch lightning began to snap and crackle from the various vines, and my Shadow closed her eyes.

“Pain.”

I had half a second to comprehend what she said before there was a flash of light that blinded me.

Then it hit me.

Air was driven from my lungs as rusted blades scraped away the surface of my skin.

My muscles burned, heat eating away at them with the smoldering intensity of a fire refusing to die.

Every bone in my body suddenly turned hollow, aching like my entire skeleton had been slammed into a wall.

And more.

A dozen other sensations, each a different, shifting form of pain rolled through me, never letting me quite get used to one torture before morphing into another. Yet, none of the pains were particularly severe. Even a single broken bone hurt more than all of them put together.

Except… there was something else. Behind the pain, following each slashing blade and acid burn, was an emptiness. It struck like an afterimage, soaking into every cell of my body. The void gnawed at me with a patience and promise of despair that hurt a hundred times more than the symphony of torment humming through me.

It was a special kind of torment, tolerable but never ignorable.

Familiar, in the worst kind of way.

My vision blurred as it began to clear, other sensations returning at the same time. Sounds hit me, an alarm mixed with words I couldn’t make out. Everything felt sharp but oddly detached, the hollowness mixed in honing and separating my senses at the same time.

Images finished clearing in my sight, and I found myself back in the training room of Arcadia Spire. The lights around me were flashing red, and Everglaive was at the entrance, a glowing, translucent barrier of verdant energy between her and me. Next to her was Naiad, an alarmed look on her face even as Everglaive held her back with one outstretched hand.

I was still sitting on the ground, but I could hear the crackle of electricity. Looking down at myself, I saw purple-black arcs of energy snapping around my body, occasionally lashing out and scorching the ground around me. Purple particles were left behind, glowing like embers as they ate away at the odd material of the room.

[Mai, focus!]

I flinched, head snapping up to see Selene in front of me.

[Your Signature! Deactivate it! It’s draining your health and hurting you!]

There was an amount of panic in her voice that I wasn’t used to. It felt disproportionate to the pain I was feeling. Yes, it hurt, but it was more a frustration or annoyance than anything else.

My eyes flicked to the health indicator at my HUD. Where it had been at 87%, it had now dropped down to 82%. The red bar grew shorter at a slow but steady pace. Even as I watched, it dropped down another percentage point.

But all of that was second to the new sensation in the back of my skull. It was like a phantom muscle I didn’t realize existed had finally woken up, and I could feel myself flexing it. It pulled at me in an odd way, drinking in my essence and in return, radiating power through my veins. It had a similar feel as my mana, but instead of a warm heat, it was a hollow, ravenous void demanding to be aimed at something.

I reached out to my new muscle, wondering just how much I could flex it and what would happen…

[Mai!]

Selene’s panicked voice snapped me out of my morbid curiosity, and instead of pushing on my Signature further, I relaxed. Instantly, most of the pain disappeared, leaving behind a dull, full-body ache. The electricity snapping around me also stopped, and I let out a slow breath. A weight seemed to lift from my mind, a certain amount of focus and clarity returning to me.

[Congratulations! You have awakened your Signature Magic!]

[Congratulations! You have unlocked a Unique Grimoire!]

Movement drew my attention from the notifications as Everglaive dropped whatever glowing barrier she had been holding up. Naiad was rushing towards me a moment later, coming to a stumbling stop with a hand outstretched towards me even as the room’s alarms turned off.

“D-do I have permission to heal you?” she stuttered, eyes flicking over me, as if she was searching for wounds.

“Um… okay?” was the awkward response I managed, feeling embarrassed. The experience had been uncomfortable, but it wasn’t like it was entirely unexpected. Everglaive had even mentioned some Signatures could cause damage to their users, so I wasn’t sure why Naiad seemed so panicked.

It hadn’t even been that bad. Constant and all-encompassing, yes, but hardly unmanageable, especially for such a short period of time.

The fact that my Signature Magic, a unique magic expressed based on my soul, hurt me was… uncomfortable. It made me feel like worms were squirming in my stomach when I considered the implications, but again… it wasn’t particularly surprising.

Besides, other than injuring me slowly and causing a little pain, I didn’t know what exactly it even did yet. It wasn’t the time to panic yet, not until I knew all the facts.

Naiad began murmuring words to herself, and blue magical circles spun into existence in front of her hand and underneath me. Her eyes widened further before her expression turned determined, the circles glowing brighter.

Bubbles began to flow up from the circle around me, popping with soft, soothing sounds as my body began to glow with a faint blue color. An odd tingling feeling like water washing over my skin began to fill my body, seeping into my aches and relieving the pain.

Except… I could feel a weird resistance, almost like something was pushing against the rejuvenation trying to soak into me. It was a pointless effort against Naiad’s unrelenting tide of magic. It took her a few minutes, but pretty soon my health was back up to the 87% it had been maxed out at before my Signature activated.

Naiad let out a slow breath, lowering her hands as her magic circles dissipated. Her usually expressive face was blank, her eyes not meeting mine. It was unsettling to see the normally bubbly girl acting so differently.

“How do you feel?” she asked, her unusually quiet tone making me tense.

“Better… thank you?” I responded, hoping the questioning tilt of my words would yield some answers.

Instead, Naiad simply nodded, turning and walking back to Everglaive. Her face was as serene as ever, though she did give Naiad a small nod and light smile before returning her gaze to me.

“Well done, Moon Bunny. Congratulations on unlocking your Signature Magic. If you would follow us, I believe Bookbear should be ready to give you an analysis shortly.”

If there was something wrong, Everglaive gave no hints or indication as she turned and left. Getting to my feet slowly, I glanced at Selene.

“Is something wrong?” I thought to her.

She let out a quiet breath that might have been a sigh.

[That’s a complicated question. For the awakening of your Signature Magic, everything went fine. For what it appears to do, there’s some complications but nothing truly surprising for a Dark. For Naiad, I suspect she either doesn’t like the implications of what your Signature is or simply doesn’t like seeing people hurt. She is a Blue, after all.]

Ah.

That… did make sense. I gave Selene a thankful nod as I followed Naiad and Everglaive into the control room. Bookbear stood in front of the desk, holographic displays floating around her that showed various graphs, numbers, and text scrolling so fast it was a blur. A white magical circle with intricate runes and bear paw symbols shone bright beneath her, smaller ones occasionally popping into existence before turning into new floating displays.

She seemed in her element, head snapping from one spot to the next as her arms blurred, tapping on various screens to close them or flicking her hand to open a new one. A thick, ancient looking book was on the table that she occasionally pressed her finger to, moving it across the page and causing letters and images to appear where she touched.

Seeing a non-combat magical girl in action was fascinating. Her lips moved constantly, murmuring what I could only assume to be words to activate spells as she flowed between one information source to the next. It was like watching a dance, each action swift but not hurried.

It took her a few minutes of work before she stopped, staring at one screen intently. She pressed her hand to the book, glowing silver energy enveloping both before gently fading to reveal an entire page had been filled out.

“Yesss!” she hissed triumphantly, a grin lighting up her tired face. With that, the various holographic displays and magic circle beneath her winked out of existence. She made a pleased sound as she stretched before dropping into one of the chairs and practically sticking her head into the book, leafing through the pages as her eyes darted over them.

We waited in silence as she worked, sometimes materializing another book to consult or make notes in before vanishing them back away. Spinning silver circles continued to appear as she continued murmuring spells.

My eyes caught movement in the corner of the room, and I flicked my gaze over to where Bookbear’s polar bear Familiar, Yuki, was lying on the ground. Everglaive’s Familiar was sleeping on its head, the light glinting off the metal hummingbird. Yuki caught me looking and rolled their eyes with an exasperated huff.

“Okay… I think I got it… mostly,” Bookbear’s narration drew me back to her as she spun her chair to face us, the ancient book opened in her lap. The girl’s face was pale and sweaty, but the excited glint in her eyes and wide smile painted a stark contrast. She leaned back into her chair like a particularly pleased cat.

“Alright! Before we begin, Moon Bunny, I’d like to ask you if you want Everglaive and Naiad in the room for this. I’m assuming both have already signed a Geas or some kind of mentorship contract but… Signature Magics are very personal things and reveal a lot about a Guardian, especially a Dark. This isn’t a question of if you trust them, it's if them knowing might make you uncomfortable.”

I stilled, trying to hide the nervous anxiety flickering inside me. Both Everglaive and Naiad had shared the true names of their Signature Magics with me. Not doing the same felt like an insult, but I was already uncomfortable with the fact that Bookbear would know so much, and-

“Naiad and I will go wait outside,” Everyglaive interrupted my spiraling smoothly, giving me a nod. “You haven’t even learned what your Signature does or its true name yet. Asking you to share such intimate information without even knowing it yourself would be the height of callousness.”

Glancing at Naiad, I saw that she seemed distracted, but she still nodded to me. Everglaive reached out, gently wrapping an arm around Naiad’s shoulders before guiding her out of the room without another word.

Bookbear cleared her throat, keeping me from paying too much attention to the guilt weight down my chest.

“So… your Signature Magic. Just so you know, figuring out all the information about Signatures is more of an art form then science. With each one being unique, there’s not really a standard to draw conclusions from. Dark and Yellow Signatures are also kind of tricky due to them being extra special. So while I’m confident I at least have the basic understanding down, I don’t feel comfortable giving any long-term guarantees on what might be possible. Suggestions I can do, just no promises.”

“I appreciate any support you can offer,” I bowed shallowly to her, and she blushed, waving her hands in an embarrassed motion.

“Ah, no, it’s my pleasure. I’d be happy to help more, but that would probably require lots of testing and scans… Which, I’m totally willing to do! Just, probably later once you’re used to your Signature.”

I slowly nodded, not quite willing to commit to the idea. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice.

“Cool, uh… okay. So we don’t have to do this next step, but it would help. Right now, I have plenty of data from my observations and scans of your power, but… if you were willing to share the true name of your Signature Magic with me, it would add a lot of context and let me give some much more comprehensive conclusions.”

I paused, glancing at where Selene was appearing to me, but she was already answering the question on my mind.

[If you open your stats screen, you can see the name of your Signature Magic and Unique Grimoire before you decide, though I would recommend it. She is an expert with an impeccable track record.]

“Um… give me a moment?” I asked, and Bookbear nodded, almost immediately going back to analyzing the book in her lap.

With that, I willed my status screen to appear.

STATUS

Name: Mai Kuroki

Alias: None

Level: 12

Points: 4,218

Health: 87%

Mana: 350/350 (30/Min)

BASIC

Origin: Dark

Aspect: Loneliness

Class: None [10 Available!]

Signature: Kodoku

STATS

Strength: 15

Dexterity: 70

Vitality: 25

Agility: 70

Willpower: 35

Spirit: 6

SKILLS

AUGMENTS

Demonic Eye of the Sable Waif [MAX]

PERMISSIONS

VAULTS

GRIMOIRES

First Aid (Common)

Lonely Moon (Unique)

Kinetic Handguns (Common)

Modern Terran Clothing (Common)

I stared at the name of my Signature.

Kodoku.

Recognizing the word was simple enough. English was the official language of Arcadia, but between school having a mandatory second language class and Father, I was still fluent in Japanese.

So seeing Kodoku being the name for my Signature Magic felt like a punch to my gut. I struggled to breathe, denial and an aching pain throbbing with each beat of my heart because of the word’s meaning.

Loneliness. Solitude. Isolation.

It was a repeat of my Aspect, something I’d tried to ignore when I saw it. Seeing it now twice on my status screen to represent both the main emotion that represented why I was a Dark and now what my soul manifested as magic…

Just… just how pathetic was I?

What did it say about me that my most defining trait was loneliness, so much so that it had to be emphasized twice?

Bookbear cleared her throat, and I realized I’d been silent for a while.

“If it helps, I’ve done this for other Darks,” she said softly, not looking at me as she fiddled with the pages of her book. “So I know how personal this decision is. I… I’m only here to help you. No judgments, no sharing this information with others, and… Your Signature Magic hurts you. That’s not that weird or anything, but it is dangerous. Knowing its true name really would let me help you more.”

I stared, not quite looking at her as my mind raced in loops. Reason and denial warred inside me, drudging up a thick mix of shame as I took a shuddering breath.

Refusing her would be stupid and emotional. Bookbear was an expert, one Everglaive, Naiad, and Selene all seemed to trust. Getting a breakdown of my Signature from her would be infinitely more efficient than trying to figure it out on my own with just Selene helping me.

I still wanted to keep it secret.

But when had what I wanted ever mattered?

“Kodoku.”

Even whispered, the word seemed to echo in the room, a faint warbling sound whispering behind it.

Bookbear twitched before freezing, eyes snapping to her book as she quickly began turning pages, eyes snapping from point to point in a blur as she began to glow.

“One word, several related meanings. So flexible, but powerful considering its simplicity and connotations. The real question is… Is your system in Japanese? Or, is the word at least spelled with Kanji or Hiragana?”

The non-sequitur made me blink, but I shook my head, something I realized she might not see a moment later.

“English.”

“Can you speak Japanese? Would you say you’re fluent in it?”

“Yes… I speak it with my family and it’s my second language course at school.”

“That! That changes… no, wait… Could you change your stat screen to Japanese and tell me how it's written? Kanji or hiragana, I mean.”

Hesitating, mostly due to confusion at her reactions, it took a mental nudge from Selene to snap me out of it. A quick thought to her and effort of will had my status menu change to Japanese. I glanced at the new results.

こどく.

“It’s written with hiragana,” I told her with a frown, and she sucked in a breath as I tried to figure out what she’d discovered.

Japanese had three writing systems. Kanji was the most traditional complicated as each symbol represented a whole word or idea, and combining them together produced entirely new words. As such, there were tens of thousands of individual kanji, though only a little over 2,000 were commonly used.

Then there were hiragana and katakana, both consisting of forty-six basic characters. They were more similar to Roman alphabets, but instead of each symbol being a letter, they represented a sound like ‘ki’ or ‘ra.’ Hiragana was considered the backbone of Japanese writing and learning, teaching the basics of the language and was usually used to write any word that originated in Japanese.

Katakana was very similar to hiragana, having the same number of characters and sounds, but was mostly used for writing out words borrowed from other languages.

The odd part was that my Signature was written in hiragana, especially when I was familiar with the kanji for Kodoku. It was a fairly common word, and considering it was my Signature Magic, I would have thought using the much more detailed definitions kanji tended to have would make more sense…

“Oh… oh you tricky System you!” Bookbear hissed, a mixture of glee and wonder in her voice. “That’s just… wow! The implications! The possibilities! No wonder it damages her to use it, but the effect…”

She trailed off, swapping between reading passages in her book and writing in it by simply pressing her finger to the page and having words appear underneath.

I tried to wait patiently, letting her work as more magic circles and books flashed in and out of existence as she consulted them. The mixture of worry and intrigue igniting my veins made me want to ask questions or shift nervously, but I had plenty of practice at keeping myself still.

Yuki the bear eventually let out a huff, and Bookbear jerked her head up to look at me, mouth open as she blushed.

“Oh, ah ha, sorry! I just, this is so fascinating! I’ve seen Signatures that were puns or references before, but never one quite like this! It explains so much. All the data I’ve gathered suddenly makes tons more sense!”

“I… don’t understand,” I admitted, and she grinned.

“Your Signature Magic is a homonym,” she waved one hand excitedly. “You know, words that sound the same but have different meanings. Not surprising, Japanese has tons of them, but it’s very relevant. If your Signature was spelled with kanji, it would be much more specific, referring to one particular thing, but it's not! It’s in hiragana, which just tells you how to say the word with no context on which of the specific meanings it's supposed to use. That means your Signature Magic is intentionally referring to multiple definitions of the word kodoku! The amount of depth and metaphysical impact it carries is just…”

She shakes her head, waving a hand in the air dismissively.

“Getting off topic. The point is, the System is using wordplay to an extreme extent with your Signature. That gives me a lot to work with, and I’m pretty sure I now have an excellent idea of the fundamental nature of your Signature.”

“O-oh,” I swallowed, folding my hands in front of myself to keep them from fidgeting nervously. “Um… what can you tell me?”

Bookbear’s wide grin dropped a notch, then she took a deep breath before she began to explain.

“Okay, so, Kodoku. It can mean loneliness, solitude, or isolation. All are related concepts and evocative, but it's the second definition that gives the biggest clue to what your Signature does. See, Kodoku is also a name for a type of poisonous magic found in Japanese folklore, though it was probably originally adapted or derived from Chinese gu magic.”

She paused, then shook her head as if to focus herself.

“Anyway, the premise is simple enough. Basically, Kodoku was the practice of collecting many types of poisonous insects and then trapping them in a jar. The insects would then end up killing each other instinctually or for food. Eventually, only one would be left, and that insect’s fluids would be harvested to create a deadly, cursed poison. In some stories, the idea was that the surviving insect would have adapted to all the various poisons of its enemies, thereby making its own poison much more potent and completely unique. In other stories, it was more about the metaphysical curse that the insect would carry from the trial, and anyone poisoned with its fluids would suffer misfortune or eventually be killed.”

She held out both hands to either side of her, palms open.

“So on one side we have Kodoku, meaning loneliness, solitude, and isolation. On the other we have Kodoku, a poisonous ‘curse magic.’ Incidentally, the two kanji to specifically spell the second type of Kodoku are the kanji for curse and poison. Put together… Well, it makes a lot of metaphorical sense. Loneliness certainly can be thought of as a poison, and I don’t know what unwanted isolation and solitude are if not a curse.”

I found it suddenly hard to breathe, and it was all I could do to keep myself unaffected as I stood there. Her excited demeanor had turned sullen, eyes not quite meeting mine as she cleared her throat, bringing both hands together.

“A-anyway, with a true name that powerful, it, um, really put into perspective all the data I gathered. Do you know what the different types of Signature Magics are?”

She shyly glanced up to see my nod before continuing.

“Okay, so your Signature is an internal one and works like this: By doing damage to yourself and draining your own health, you are able to create a secondary, mana-like resource for you to utilize. There’s a lot of possibilities for you to explore, but the most basic ideas I have would be using it to fuel spells in place of mana or enhance objects with its special property. The special property of your Signature is… well, the resource you’re using is basically a unique form of curse magic. Are you familiar with that term?”

“No,” I said quietly, dread beginning to fill me.

“Curse magic is the term for any type of magic that has miasma, negatively-aligned mana, used in its creation. It has the special property of having a natural resistance against anything made from normal mana, and is especially good at destroying such things. For instance, a curse magic spell would more easily pierce or destroy a normal magical barrier.”

Bookbear winced, continuing at a more sedate pace.

“As a side-effect… This means curse magic is more powerful against the barriers of Magical Girls and also makes it more difficult to heal wounds caused by it until it’s been purged. To put it simply, your Signature Magic’s most basic function is sacrificing your health to create a special type of curse energy, and this can be used to fuel and enhance your various spells or even be applied to objects to empower them with the properties of curse magic. For advanced uses, well, it would have to be evolutions of the premise of your Signature, meaning things that loneliness, solitude, isolation, and curse poison could be refined into. The amount of possibilities are… staggering.”

I took in the information, detaching myself from the implications. Even though every muscle in my body felt tight, like they were trying to shred themselves apart, I pushed past the tension. Instead of listening to the dark whispers from the shadows of my skull, I focused on the abilities of my Signature.

It was… powerful. Potentially even more so if a few things held true.

“Does my Signature drain my mana as well as my health?” I asked, noticing my full mana bar.

“Nope. You’re basically creating a secondary, extra powerful mana source to use. That doesn’t mean you can’t combine normal mana with your Signature to power a spell, because you totally can. Your curse magic is attuned to the same frequency of your natural mana, so they won’t interfere with each other.”

So I could surprise opponents by using more magic than I should be able to, switching to my Signature to cast spells when I was out of mana. That, and I could also enhance spells at random, making some of my spells much more powerful than they should be. My Signature was essentially an incredibly versatile trump card in that regard.

“Using my Signature on objects… what exactly would it do to them?”

“Well, normal objects probably would just get destroyed pretty quickly, but any Zenith weapons are going to be enhanced to work with you. I think you’ll have a lot of synergy putting your Signature on things like blades, enhancing their metaphysical concept of separation. Your Signature’s meaning of isolation, loneliness, and solitude would basically make the blade capable of slicing through things much easier to enact that purpose. Wounds caused would also be harder to regenerate or heal from.”

“What would happen if I applied it to projectiles?”

Her eyes went wide at that, and she began taking some frantic notes.

“Oh, that would be very useful! With aspects like loneliness and solitude, it would help with an arrow’s piercing power immensely! It would work the same way as a blade, keeping the arrow separated from whatever it was piercing by helping to push away or destroy any matter trying to make contact. Then, if the arrow is stuck in the wound, the ‘curse poison’ aspect of your Signature would take effect, releasing whatever energy was left from the enhancement to damage the target over time! Genius! It doesn’t have the synergy of a blade’s separation, but the ability to magically poison an Anathema with something that doesn’t heal easily more than makes up for it!”

I glanced down at where Selene was appearing in my vision, and she nodded as if to confirm my unshared thoughts.

Namely, that while Bookbear assumed I was talking about arrows, there didn’t seem to be a reason a bullet wouldn’t also work.

Overall… I was pleased with my Signature Magic’s capabilities, even if its implications made me sick to my stomach. As a tool in my arsenal, it seemed top-notch, and also like it would compliment my abilities well.

“I don’t have too much time to go into more theorycrafting, unfortunately,” Bookbear sighed. “But overall… Um, one of the things us analysis Guardians like to do is rank a Signature Magic on three things: power, flexibility, and cost. I’d definitely say yours is S-rank in all three. It’s very powerful, has so many potential uses I can’t wait to sit down and think of more, but it is also incredibly costly. Not surprising, honestly. Usually Signatures are flexible or powerful, but when they are both, the cost has to be just as high. For you, this is especially true, as the damage caused when you use your Signature is going to be harder to heal because its curse magic. You’ll have to be very careful, okay?”

I nodded seriously, and she paused for a moment, then sighed, slumping in her seat.

“Just as a small warning… other Guardians aren’t going to react well to your Signature. Curse magic is something that usually only very powerful Anathema can utilize. The fact that it’s good against magical defenses, and combine it with the negative rumors about Darks already…”

She glanced up at me timidly, but I gave no reaction.

Truthfully, I was too emotionally drained to care much. I’d done my best to make peace with what being a Dark Magical Girl was going to mean, and I had plenty of practice of ignoring the scalding looks and whispered venom of others. Keeping another secret didn’t bother me, especially when my choice to use guns was already going to get me attention.

Combined with how long the day had been already between explanations from Fantasy Fatale, doing my first voluntary Usurpation, reading the letter from Brian’s family, and finding my resolve to walk down a path I could truly be passionate about… there wasn’t much that was going to phase me at this point.

“D-don’t worry!” Bookbear hurriedly waved her hand placatingly, obviously misinterpreting my non-reaction as something else. “Um, it’s actually pretty common for Dark Magical Girls to be able to utilize curse magic in one form or another. Not all do, but still! You’re not an… aberration or anything.”

I tried to give the panicking girl a reassuring nod, but that only had her shift in her seat nervously.

“I, um, I really would love to study your Signature more and help you figure out other things to do with it, but um… Sorry, I got a message during your ritual, and my parents are going to get mad if I spend too much time at the spire again. Could I, uh, study it on my own and get back to later with some ideas? It might take some time with how busy I am, but I can leave a message for you with the attendants if I figure anything out, then we could meet up?”

My parents are going to get mad if I spend too much time at the spire again.

“Of course,” I hurriedly agreed, almost choking on the fluttering fear in my throat. “I would appreciate that very much. Please don’t let me keep you.”

“O-oh! Okay! Wait, no, there’s one last thing! Um, If you’d like, I could take a look at your unique Grimoire or Aspect and tell you how they tie into your Signature Magic? Darks have all three work together with lots of synergy, and I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least explain those a little bit.”

My reflexive refusal died in my throat as I realized that my unique Grimoire actually was finally unlocked now, but I’d barely registered the fact because of my Signature’s name. Opening up my status screen again, my eyes quickly scanned down the list to look at its name.

Lonely Moon (Unique)

I bit back the frustration laced with hurt at seeing that word repeated yet again, swallowing down a lump in my throat. Maybe it shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it was considering a Dark’s Signature, Aspect, and Unique Grimoire were all connected.

[I don’t believe we need Bookbear’s help with the Augment provided by your Aspect,] Selene’s gentle voice helping to untie the tension inside me. [For your Grimoire, it would be useful, although Grimoires do come with brief descriptions unlike Signature Magics. Perhaps you should take a look at yours before committing? As with everything else System-related, simply focus your will on your Grimoire’s name like you are asking a question.]

I followed her advice, and a new screen popped open before my eyes.

Grimoire of the Lonely Moon (Unique)

Element: [Lunar]

Classification: [Conceptual]

Major Traits: [Unique] [Origin Grimoire] [Signature Synchronized] [Curse Magic]

Description: A Grimoire consisting of lunar magic combined with the concept of loneliness. Lunar magic is versatile and capable of performing many types of spells without excelling in any particular category. Lunar magic’s special property is that it is effective against most other types of magic.

This Grimoire in particular contains magics altered by loneliness, giving them the additional properties of curse magic and further enhancing the anti-magic capabilities of all spells within. Additionally, due to the concept of loneliness being applied, some spells have additional or altered effects related to the concept.

“Alone in this darkness, serene moonlight turns cursed, for what is loneliness if not a poison?”

I took my time reading the description, making note of every term I didn’t understand while rereading what I did. It was informative enough but didn’t go into as much detail as I expected.

A quick question to Selene let me know the individual spells in the Grimoire would explain what they did more thoroughly, but this was just meant to be a brief introduction and overview. I could also get more information about the various major traits or even have the info box show me more, but I chose not to for the moment.

The quote at the end was ignored.

I was done with the System’s idea of flavor text and naming.

It wasn’t a hard decision to let Bookbear help me with my Grimoire. The description didn’t reveal anything she didn’t already know, and I’d already shared so much with her anyway…

“Um, should I write down the information?” I asked, causing the Magical Girl to perk up.

“Oh, ah, no. If you just think about sharing the description screen with me, It’ll pop up in my vision too.”

I did as she instructed, causing her to gasp and begin writing down notes and consulting more books eagerly. It was another half-dozen minutes or so before she was nodding a few times, continuing to work.

“Okay, so, ah, quick and simple Grimoire overview. They work the same as Vaults, basically being a storefront for a bunch of themed spells you can purchase and then use. All magic has an elemental affinity and classification, one being the fundamental elements like fire, water, earth, and etcetera, while others are more conceptual like war, heroism, monster summoning, or, in your case, lunar. You’ll learn more about the deeper differences between the two at the academy, but it isn’t really important right now.”

She blew a stray hair out of her eyes as she opened another book.

“This Grimoire is based on lunar magic, which has a lot of metaphysical weight behind it because of how many stories, legends, and cultural ties there are behind the moon. For magic, that’s very important as it determines what kind of effects the magic can have beyond their primary purpose. With lunar magic, the most important thing to know is that there’s a lot that ties the moon with magic itself. Lots of cultures had moon-related deities whose domains included magic. This gives lunar magic a sort of… I suppose you could call it purity of essence or even primacy against other magics.”

She paused, thinking that over before slowly nodding.

“Most types of magic have a sort of integral effect to them that’s related to how the element behaves and has been illustrated or perceived over time. For example, fire magic burns but also purifies. Earth magic is sturdy and resistant. Water magic is flexible and good at healing. The element of a spell can vastly change how a spell behaves. Throwing a water ball at somebody is very different from a fire ball even if most of the spellwork is the same. Basically, the material you make a spell of can have large effects on the final product.”

The concept was simple enough to grasp, so I nodded along.

“With the fundamental elements, their aspects and effects are usually pretty obvious,” Bookbear continued, picking up speed as she got excited. “Lunar magic is a little more complicated, but the main effect it carries is basically anti-magic. It overpowers, ignores, or pierces other types of magic more easily due to the metaphysical implications it carries. The fact that it’s also cursed lunar magic means that effect is amplified by a ridiculous amount, and it will have the extra damaging properties of base curse magic, so-”

Yuki let out a loud huff, raising his head to glare at Bookbear who wilted under the look, blushing.

“I, um, would love to go into it more, and I’m so sorry I can’t right now. I know you were scheduled for more time, but…”

“It’s okay,” I said earnestly, not wanting to keep her here longer if it meant getting her into trouble with her parents. “I appreciate the help you’ve been able to provide.”

“Ahh…” she glanced at Yuki. The book in her lap faded into silver light as the polar bear stood up, and Bookbear jumped up out of the chair and started moving away from her Familiar. His eyes narrowed, and he began lumbering after her, slowly increasing his speed as she continued to avoid him.

“Just one more thing!” she said, her familiar glowering and starting to pick up its pace as it trudged over. “For real this time! Unlike your Signature, you won’t have to sacrifice your health to use any spells from this Grimoire! Just use normal mana, and they’ll still have some curse magic in them! Your Signature awakening probably taught your body how to effectively create curse magic itself for the Grimoire, so it shouldn’t be a problem and- eep!”

She tumbled into a roll, dodging a lunge by her Familiar before nimbly jumping back to her feet and continuing to jog-run away from the increasingly annoyed bear.

“You also saw your Grimoire’s major traits, right!? It’s Signature synchronized, which means your Signature will be much more effective at enhancing or fully fueling spells from your Unique Grimoire! Either way, those spells are already going to be a lot more powerful, so be careful and- urk!”

Yuki finally managed to catch her, biting onto the hood of her onesie. Without preamble, the Familiar started pulling as she resisted, slowly forcing her backwards towards the door. Bookebear tried to go limp, but the giant polar bear didn’t seem to care, continuing to drag her away.

“Anyway, those are just the bear basics, so don’t be afraid to experiment with possibilities!” she called out cheerily, seemingly oblivious to her current state. “I’ll definitely start working out more details in my free time and get back to you, but don’t be afraid to contact me if you need anything! Just ask one of the attendants to send me a message. Your Familiar and the Academy can help explain more about Grimoires to you until then! Oh, and bug Everglaive and her team if you want! They’re pretty smart too!”

“O-ok?” I answered as I watched the polar bear somehow operate the door while still dragging the cheery Magical Girl away.

“It was nice to meet you!” she called out as she disappeared, leaving me staring blankly at the door until Everglaive leaned her head in with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh, um… Her parents messaged her and wanted her home.”

A look of understanding crossed Everglaive’s face as she nodded.

“I see. I apologize that your time with her was cut short.”

“N-no, it’s okay. I just… could I have a moment? I need to… think about what she told me.”

“Of course,” she smiled gently. “Naiad and I will be waiting outside if you need anything.”

Everglaive reached out and closed the door, and I took a moment to just breathe, closing my eyes and letting the tension stockpiled in my body slowly melt away.

Today was… a lot.

But it had been useful. I’d finally found a path forward, a dream I could chase without reservations. All the help from Everglaive, her team, Warden Sanguine, and Bookbear had been appreciated but overwhelming. Combined with the dream-memory I’d had in my reflection room and meeting my Shadow…

I sighed, walking over to one of the chairs in the room and sitting down. Selene’s apparition jumped onto the table next to me, head tilting.

[How are you doing? No, that answer is evident enough. Today has been… a lot. Perhaps I should ask instead what you think of your Signature and Unique Grimoire?”

“I… they’re… powerful,” I answered weakly, still trying to sort through my own feelings on them.

My Signature let me sacrifice health to generate a type of energy. I could use this curse magic to fuel or empower my spells, and it could also enhance objects like weapons. Bookbear’s brief explanation already had me thinking about applying it to bullets and how useful that was going to be. Not only that, but it sounded like this was just the absolute basics of how I could potentially use my Signature…

Then there was my Grimoire, Lonely Moon. Cursed lunar magic, a moon-themed magic mixed with cursed magic, the effects of both making the spells within have even more effectiveness against other magic. The fact it was especially receptive to being enhanced by my Signature was a huge bonus, and although I didn’t have a good idea of what kind of spells it would contain just yet, I didn’t doubt they would be powerful.

Combined together… My Signature Magic, Unique Grimoire, and the Unique Augment I received really did work well together. My eye was giving me invaluable information and helping me aim, my Grimoire would give me powerful magic to use if guns weren’t effective, and my Signature would let me enhance both against strong opponents.

It felt… right. Even if I didn’t like the assumptions and misrepresentations the System had made about my life, I couldn’t argue that the abilities I’d been given as a Dark weren’t tailor-made to my strengths. Observing situations, having plenty of options to strike at weak points, and suffering a little pain and hurt to win in the long run… it was uncomfortable that each of those points had been turned into tangible resources I could leverage.

“I like them,” I finally said to Selene who perked up. “Both seem flexible but still powerful. My Grimoire also being curse magic but not damaging me is nice…”

Selene nodded a few times happily.

[Indeed! Now we know why it was locked, at least. Like Bookbear was saying, you must have needed your Signature awakened for your body to learn how to create and process curse magic safely. The fact it only requires normal mana is a very powerful bonus. You are going to be the bane of magic-wielding Anathema.]

“Oh… So Anathema can use normal magic too, not just curse magic?” I murmured, although I felt like I’d already heard about that from somewhere.

[Correct. Using curse magic is more of an uncommon ability only a few powerful Anathema have. Even then, it tends to be limited to several specific types of attacks or enhancements. It is exceptionally rare for an Anathema to be a full curse magic caster. Normal mages are much more common.]

Nodding, I carefully didn’t mention my other thoughts.

Namely, that my abilities weren’t just going to be useful against Anathema.

The idea of fighting another human, let alone a Magical Girl made me sick. Fighting and killing monsters was one thing, but hurting another person, even if they deserved it…

Still, with the stigma around Darks, there might come a moment where I don’t have a choice.

In which case, I would be more than ready to end things as swiftly and painlessly as possible.

[So what are your plans now?] Selene asked. [You’ve had a long day of explanations, decisions, and discoveries. I would personally suggest some rest and relaxation.]

That… sounded fine. Good, even. The problem was tomorrow.

“The hotel room,” I asked, trying not to fidget. “Do you think I could use that tonight?”

[Of course! I think both Everglaive and I were assuming you would stay there tonight, then return to your family tomorrow with your cover story and paperwork more firmly prepared. There’s some miscellaneous things that you need to take care of in your civilian identity as well, but nothing too time-consuming or complicated.]

My stomach tightened into a knot, but I only gave Selene a distracted nod in response.

Because as joyful as finally finding my purpose today was… there was tomorrow.

I’d need to contact Father and let him know I was finally able to come back, find out what duties I needed to catch up on, finish whatever preparations my cover story needed, figure out how I was replacing my damaged uniform and phone, most likely spend time shopping in the city, talk with Selene about the restrictions my Shadow mentioned, figure out what I was going to say to her about my family, and then…

Then I would return.

And as sick as it made me, I prayed my Shadow was telling the truth about Selene not being able to betray me.

Because I had the feeling that tomorrow, even if my explanations went well…

It still wasn’t going to be enough.