Last Life

OUR ARRIVAL HIT THE FORT like a bomb. The inner courtyard looked like a batted beehive. Everyone inside couldn’t wait to catch a glimpse of the miraculous survivors. However, at first the sentries didn’t want to let us in — they took us for beggars. We looked the part, too... But after a few big curse words from von Brunon directed at the “blind dolts who couldn’t even recognize their own mother,” we were finally allowed to enter.

I slowly looked with a calm gaze at the men surrounding us on all sides and smiled to myself. They were looking at us like dead men who had been buried long ago and suddenly come back to life.

“Silence!” a loud shrieking cry flew over the internal courtyard. “What is the meaning of this?! What is going on here?!”

Silence took hold. I looked up and saw on the tower balcony a short fat man with a tomato red face and sweat glistening bald head. The red-faced man’s small piggish eyes bored a hole into the crowd with anger. I wouldn’t have been surprised to learn he had just been taken away from his dinner.

At the last moment, the fat man confirmed my suspicions about his modest mental faculties.

“Vidal?!” he shrieked in surprise, finally looking us in the eyes. “Von Holtz, von Brunon?! Why are you alive?! You died at Gray Ridge!”

“Nevertheless...” I muttered to myself and turned for explanations to my companions. “Who is this idiot, gentlemen?”

“Lieutenant Brossard,” von Holtz replied with a disgusted cringe.

“The man who supposedly catches a fever every time we’re supposed to go out on patrol?” I laughed. “His face is so smooth you’d never take him for a man who regularly staves off death.”

“And Gobert came to visit, too...” Vidal hissed through his teeth, pointing with his eyes at the balcony.

I looked up and met eyes with a small man in a dark robe and black cap. My companions had told me enough stories to recognize his narrow bird face and big fisheyes — this was the local secret chancery agent.

“Gentlemen,” I came, addressing my comrades in arms. “Don’t you think it’s time we had a heart to heart with monsieur lieutenant and his friend from the secret chancery?”

Not waiting for an answer to the rhetorical question, I started toward the tower’s front door. My companions followed right behind, and the shadow patrol troops silently made way.

And a few minutes later, after walking past security, we entered that very office with a balcony.

Hm... I was right. Our coming to the fortress disturbed a peaceful meal Lieutenant Brossard was sharing with secret chancery agent Gobert.

“How am I to take this?” Brossard shrieked after our intrusion.

Looking jeeringly over the richly appointed table, I said out loud so all would hear, turning to face my companions to prove my point:

“Gentlemen! I must admit, I didn’t believe it, but things are much worse than they say in the capital! The Shadow Patrol is no longer what it once was! As a child, I heard many stories from my grandfather the Count de Gramont about the glorious deeds of my ancestor, who fought side by side with His Highness Albert the Brave against the vile spawn of Darkness! I grew up on tales and legends of valiant heroes protecting our world from monsters! And I came to the frontier to follow in the footsteps of my great ancestor! But what do I see, gentlemen?!”

With every word, my voice grew firmer and louder, and the faces of the people around me as well as my companions stretched out in surprise.

“Apparently, those who wish to do their duty to the crown and Vestonia are simply abandoned to the whims of fate!” I continued pontificating. “As a matter of fact, we had already been buried long ago! And now, you even make complaint that we are still alive!”

In the dead silence that fell after those words, I turned to face the fat man who was quickly going pale and gasping for air.

“I have a question for you, Lieutenant Brossard!” I came. “I would like to know what was written in the search party commander’s report after he returned from the valley!”

Several pairs of attentive eyes fixated on the fat figure standing still at the balcony door. The lieutenant lost all his confidence in a flash and his whole body shuddered.

I was certain that if I did not have both barons and Chevalier Vidal at my back, who had served at Westerly Fort for several years and integrated themselves into local society, I would have had a hard time achieving a similar effect. As a matter of fact, if I were a commoner, I never would have even been let into the office.

“W-w-what commander?” the fat man asked, hiccupping. “What search party?”

“What do you mean what search party?” I feigned incomprehension and turned to my companions. “The one that was sent out to find us... Or at the very least bring our dead bodies back to our families...”

The lieutenant’s face took on a gray shade. But Monsieur Gobert’s cold eyes told me that he wasn’t going to be such a push over. Still, I should note that the secret chancery agent was in no hurry to intervene in the conversation, sitting back while the lieutenant responded to the disgruntled nobles’ clumsy questioning. At the very least, so far... After, the bird-faced man would surely try to play hardball, but we were ready for that.

“Oh, wait!” I said, slapping myself softly on the forehead. “I think I’m starting to get it! There never was any search party! Isn’t that right? You just crossed us off the rolls!”

“I...” the fat man started sputtering, staring hauntedly and taking a step back. “I... Do not have the authority... The captain... Such decisions...”

Running a scornful gaze over the lieutenant, paying no mind to the tongue-tied Gobert, I turned to my companions and said:

“Gentlemen! I think we’ve seen enough to know what these pitiful commoners are up to. What a waste of time. Let’s go! After two months roving through hostile territory, I think we’ve earned some rest!”

The esteemed nobles all supported me with happy smiles and followed me out of the office. No one called out to stop us.

When we were back in the internal courtyard, there were even more people.

“Gentlemen!” I said to my comrades in arms, but loud enough so everyone could hear. “I say we spend two days resting and getting ourselves in order, then on day three we all hit the Lame Bull together! I’ve heard they serve an excellent ale! There we can celebrate our return! Everyone who would like to share in our mirth, drinks are on me!”

The last part got drowned out by dozens of enthusiastic people roaring out together. I had no doubt that everyone at the fort, as well as those currently on leave, would be joining us in the Lame Bull tavern. It would cost me several barrels of ale, but it would be worth it. Over those drinks, we would have a chance to tell the story of our misadventures as we’d all agreed, which would then spread through town.

Based on the look Gobert gave me as he left the fortress, the employee of the local investigative body would surely be in the tavern as well. And that was exactly what we wanted. Part of the reason we planned that whole scene was for him and his office. The risk that my companions would say too much was minimal. They had even more to lose from that than I did. And as for the alcohol... I would keep them from getting drunk. I didn’t take all of Bastien de Tosny’s potions along for my tour. I left most of them at home. And I had one that fit the bill perfectly.

It took us around two hours to reach Toulon. A group of peasants hauling wares to the fort kindly agreed to drop us off back in town. And they even brought me almost all the way home. The barons and chevalier, who were renting a room on a street occupied by artisans, bid me a warm farewell and promised to visit my manor the day after next then hopped off the cart a few minutes earlier.

As I walked over to my manor, I was dreaming of nothing more than a warm bath, tasty dinner, and clean bedsheets. I was completely fed up with the two months of living rough.

But at the gates, I spotted a buggy and two city guardsmen. They noticed me when I was walking up to the propped open gate, but it was too late. I just slammed it in their faces. One of them tried to object, but the second softly grabbed him by the shoulder. He recognized me, and I him. I had treated this guardsman and his fellow officers to drinks in the Golden Boar upon my arrival in Toulon. We traded nods and I moved on.

In front of my manor door, I was greeted by a curious scene. The four boys I bought from the slave traders were surrounded by dozens of city guardsmen. Jacques was one step from Captain Louis de Rohan, while Bertrand loomed on the porch, standing perfectly straight with his chin thrust proudly forward. My trusty servant was saying something in an icy didactic tone to the captain, who looked like a pitiful mad dog compared to the old man.

Bertrand finally noticed me and frowned. He seemed not to remember me. And no wonder! I must have looked a mess... I winked and smiled at him, then said loudly:

“All this fuss and no fighting?!”

They all fell silent in an instant and turned to face me.

“Monsieur!” Bertrand gasped happily and wanted to burst forward, but stopped himself before it was too late. He could not show disrespect to his master in public. “I knew you would return!”

“Of course I would!” I laughed. “Did anyone doubt that?!”

I looked demonstratively at the outstretched faces of my serfs and the guardsmen. I caught a happy smirk from Jacques. I nodded shortly at him. I hit Monsieur Mollet with a baffled look and, based on his sour expression, he wished he could disappear. And near the end, I noticed Louis de Rohan staring at me stunned.

“Ahh!” I exclaimed. “Monsieur captain! How nice running into you! I see the malicious rumors about you were false!”

“What?” the captain’s puffy face looked mottled.

“What do you mean what?” I asked, feigning surprise. “Lieutenant Brossard was just assuring me, Barons von Holtz and von Brunon, as well as Chevalier Vidal that you refused to send out a search party to the foot of the Gray Ridge to look for us or our bodies. But it seems your superior was lying, and the search party is set to depart!”

I looked around showily at the dozen or so city guards who were watching the scene and letting themselves be fooled by my display. Louis de Rohan meanwhile went beet red.

“Monsieur captain!” I continued, as if nothing had happened, watching Jacques’ satisfied face out of the corner of my eye. “Even the most experienced scout could envy your senses! Only your sage mind could think to start the search with my very residence! And here you found me! Monsieur captain, the brigades patrolling the lands next to the Shadow could really use men with such refined senses as yourself. I’m sure your subordinates would be delighted to see you lead the next tour into the valley!”

“You!!!” Louis de Rohan hissed through his teeth. “You!!! Scoundrel! How dare you! You...”

“Baronet,” I interrupted his hissing with an icy tone. “You better watch your tongue! Before I cut it down to size! I expect to see you at the duelyard the day after tomorrow at noon!”

The captain measured me up scornfully and exclaimed:

“I’ll be there!”

“And don’t be late,” I replied and added: “And for now — leave my home at once or I will be forced to view your visit as an invasion!”

The captain, grinding his teeth and muttering curses under his breath, hopped away from the manor grounds like he’d been scalded. The guards were hot on his heels. Based on the satisfied looks on their faces, the news of our duel would spread through town like wildfire. That was good. I had scheduled the duel for the day after next on purpose. I wanted as much publicity as possible. That way we could earn more on bets.

But overall, the captain’s visit had been a success. I was trying to come up with ways of getting rid of the rats and here one presented itself to me on a silver platter. One innocent provocation was all the baronet needed to blow his top. The only problem was that the fink could appoint someone else to duel in his place. All the worse for him. I would do everything in my power to embarrass him.

Wait... Where did he think he was going?

“Monsieur Mollet!” I called out to the landlord, who was trying to flee the manor property in the commotion. “Would you mind sticking around a few minutes?”

The landlord froze in place, then turned and looked at me guiltily.

“Monsieur Renard,” he started with a slightly shaky voice. “The captain required my presence as owner of the manor. If I knew what he was planning to do, I never would have agreed.”

Yes, you would have... I am quite sure of that...

“Monsieur Mollet,” I smiled hospitably and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. The man shuddered but tried to get himself together. “I would never hold this against you. May the Most Luminous Mother be my witness! My thoughts are pure! Everyone can see that you were a victim of circumstance.”

“Precisely!” Mollet exclaimed, having realized I was not planning to injure or kill him on the spot. “You are wise beyond your years, Monsieur Renard! I really was a victim. Ah... This manor causes me nothing but trouble... If only I’d known, I never would have acquired it...”

“That’s just what I wanted to discuss with you, my sweet Monsieur Mollet!” I smiled, squeezing his shoulder slightly. Which made him shudder again. “What do you think about selling me this troublesome property?”

The landlord shuddered and flipped instantly. The danger had passed. Now it was business. He was clearly intrigued by my offer.

“Don’t let me rush you, dear man,” I said straight after and smiled. “I’ll give you a few days to think it over. When you’ve reached a decision about the price, make an informal visit. My home is your home.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” the landlord nodded quickly. “By all means! As soon as I’ve run the calculations, I’ll drop by!”

But he was in no rush to leave. He was too scared to move a muscle.

“Then until next time, my esteemed man,” I nodded and gave him a light push. “Best wishes to your domestics.”

Mollet dashed to the exit without turning and, when the gate closed behind him, I turned.

Looking over the faces of my good friends with a happy expression, I sighed in relief and said:

“Well, here I am. Back home!”

* * *

While I got cleaned off in a hot bath, Bertrand who had been clucking over me the whole night like a brood hen, carefully shaved all the overgrown hair from my face and precisely snipped the hair on my head.

He didn’t find the courage to embrace me until we were all alone in my office. The trustiest man in this world to me, he was the only reason I had survived the first few days after my consciousness was sent here. And now he was sobbing on my chest like a small child. Essentially, he was the only member of my household who never gave up hope that I was alive.

Helping me get dressed, he told me everything that happened in the last two months in great detail. As it turned out, I had already accumulated quite a stack of letters from my spies in Sardent.

I decided to leave the correspondence for the next day when I had a fresh mind. However, I stopped to read one letter. Actually, I couldn’t even properly call it a letter. A small note. It was written by my dearest uncle, the Duke de Gramont.

Nephew, despite your impertinence and disobedience, and also despite the fact that your father brought shame on our entire house, as a man of honor, I do not intend to abandon you to the whims of fate.

We have found for you a more than worthy match. Viscountess Aurélie de Marbot. She possesses excellent education, is attractive, and most importantly very rich. Yes, she is significantly older than you, but you are in no position to be choosy. This marriage will provide you with everything you need to carry on the wanton lifestyle you so adore.

As soon as you reach this line, start gathering your things and come to our capital city residence.

As for your strange wish to join the Shadow Patrol... His Majesty has signed a petition from me to absolve you of your duties in Westerly Fort. Consider your duty to the crown completed. All corresponding papers have already been sent to the royal chancery.

Your uncle,

Heinrich de Gramont

When I looked up, I met eyes with a disquieted Bertrand.

“Looks like there’s no getting out of a trip to the capital now,” I sighed and threw the letter on the table. “My dear uncle will never give up. Time to rain on his parade.”