Isekai into Marvel/DC

Thankyou and Bonus Chapters 1-2

Bonus Chapter 01

Deadpool’s Point of View

I can’t believe this person had a whole ass fanfic without including yours truly. Oh yea! Well, I’m going to have my own story, with blackjack and hookers. I’ll put maximum effort into some coochie! Now all I have to do is convince a bunch of hotties that before I became a walking ballsack that I looked like Ryan Reynolds. I used to have a one and only, but things somehow didn’t work out.

I couldn’t even blame anything for how it happened. I held her too tightly and choked the love out of our relationship, I cared more about how I looked than she did, I guess. I’d fix things between me and Copycat though, hence the plan to get the god of pretty boys to fix me up so I can woo my woman again. He was hard to pin down, all teleporters were, but I finally knew a spot he’d be at for more than an hour, and I was headed there.

Now we just had to play the waiting game until this chuckle fuck showed up! I waited across the gala in a cafe as I sipped expensive coffee with my pinky raised until he finally showed himself. I approached him as cautiously as I could, which was at a full sprint before he finally noticed me. His eyebrows rose as he recognized me. Good, that will make the next part easier!

I was at a distance, and I could finally enact my plan! As he prepared to do something, I began to slide into place as I bowed to him. “Please, please, please. Teach me your ways, master! Take me as your disciple of love.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Oh no, I was trying to avoid him. How did Deadpool find me? Now I’m going to get wrapped up in his shenanigans. Part of me just wanted to bail on this celebrity event but there were too many people waiting to talk to me to do so. I sucked my teeth as I thought of a way to get rid of him quickly. Healing him would be one way. As I laid my hands on him to cure his cancer… I couldn’t.

My eyebrows raised higher and higher as I tried more things to fix him and all failed. I could make a body from scratch, make the most precious and rare metal known to man, hell I was close to resurrecting the dead with my power but I still couldn’t cure Wade’s illness. It was ingrained in him completely. Even if I removed his brain and placed it in a new body, the cancer would spread again.

So I couldn’t get rid of him by curing him. I sighed in exasperation. “Fine, just… I’m busy right now. Do you have a suit you can wear for this celebrity event?” He scratched his mask before answering. “I’m kind of flat broke and between jobs at the moment.” I read his surface thoughts, and I’m surprised by how much he loses his train of thought. 

He first thought he should probably mention he was also homeless and owed millions to the mafia. Then he thought about looking for cardboard to make a suit before scrapping the idea. Then he thought about eating a big bowl of ice cream because him eating chimichangas all the time was becoming old hat before thinking about his girlfriend's tits. Then I thought about having sex with Copycat before I jumped out of his surface-level scan.

I stopped wasting my time and just tossed one of the suits I had stored in my item warehouse power. I just put it right over his suit, so his mask still covered his face, but he looked nice and cleaned up in an instant. “Esnaelc!” I cast a healing spell to wash the hobo smell from him before we made our way inside. “Alright, I’m going to go check out the buffet over there. Don’t mind me.”

It was like watching a car crash, I just couldn’t look away from him as he loaded up a hors d’oeuvres sandwich like the one Rodney Dangerfield made in the back-to-school movie as he messily ate it through his mask. Meatball chunks and marinara dripped onto his new tuxedo as he kept speaking with his mouthful. “Woah, they got champ-pagne here too?” He mispronounced champagne before grabbing the bottle from a waiter and chugging the whole thing.

More than half of the crowd watched in stunned silence as Wade moved from one social faux pas to the next. For a brief moment, I thought about slipping out the back as he was going to make his way back over to me and make a scene. I didn’t really care what most people thought of me but I was getting second-hand cringe from what he was doing.

I enjoyed Deadpool as a character, but if he was a real person, he’d only be tolerable in very small doses, and I was at my limit. He’d be fine in a less formal setting as well, but he was going out of his way to be gross and disgusting to these upper-crust elites. I turn to head towards the door before he finally yells across the gala. “Sensei, now that I’m full and got my extrovert meter filled back up we can get to your lessons on how I can woo the ladies.”

He took a notepad from nowhere as he made his way over to me and waited for me to tell him how to improve himself. “I… Don’t know what to say. I normally just show up and the women there just want to fuck me.” As I spoke, I made it so only he could hear me, and even if someone was filming, they wouldn’t be able to read my lips. “Look at all the women here. Almost every single one of them would rather be with me right now than with their date. I don’t really do anything but be pretty… So I guess just figure out a way to get pretty.”

He wrote while speaking out loud. “Be pretty, got it. What else?” I looked at him before stating again. “Like I said, I don’t do anything special. I’m just extremely good-looking.” He started to pace as he pulled a corncob pipe out of nowhere and began to ponder. “Hmm, mayhaps you don’t even know what makes women so attracted to you? How about I be your sidekick for a while until I figure it out? What do you think about that, chief?”

“That sounds like an awful idea, and I don’t need a sidekick.” He waved his hands around. “Woah, woah, woah. No one said anything about being your sidekick. I mean, besides me, who just said it? But I meant partner. We could be like Starsky and Hutch or Bert and Earnie, except with less gay undertones. I mean... Unless? No, it would never work between us. You're way too busy, and I'm too monogamous. We just need to figure out whose name goes first. Deadpool and Danny doesn’t sound that good, but neither does Danny and Deadpool. What about Deadpool and The Storm? Ultraman and Wade… Come on, we can figure this out.” 

I sigh. “Fine, you can follow me around for the rest of this chapter, but then we’ll go our separate ways.” He cheered like he just accomplished something. “No, we should do an entire arc with just us two. A hundred chapters of Deadpool, baby. No! A hundred and fifty chapters and a spinoff movie with a game tie-in. We can fill it with microtransactions and rake in the dough. Then we can make special plushy dolls of the two of us with magnets in our hands, so it looks like we’re high-fiving. Are you writing any of this down?”

Bonus Chapter 02

Dionysus’s Point of View

The ongoing party I had started a hundred and fifty-seven years ago was just now ramping up as both Odin and Zeus returned from the other world. I’d rather say they grew so strong that they were forced out. Both seemed to be upset about it, but what else could we do except party? After a few years, they calmed down and started to get back into their roles as gods and began celebrating their immortality by partying their victory over Darkwhatever.

Someone mentioned that it did take both of them to beat that new god, which wasn’t cool to mention, but both had shaken off the insult after torturing him for a few months. It truly was a benevolent show of their strength in their old age. A few thousand years earlier and both would have smited the god for what he said; they were truly growing into their divinity.

Most of the gods and goddesses were drunk, but as the god of wine, it took a bit more to get me tipsy than most, so I was possibly the only one to notice the new arrival. I saw the man who could match any of the gods of beauty make his way over to Aphrodite. They talk, and I see her laugh; then, they keep talking and make their way out of the party.

He was the only one to return. I just kept watching him as I knew if either Zeus or Odin noticed him, he’d be in big trouble for just showing up and taking a goddess for himself. I watched in wrapt fascination as he made his way over to Athena. Alright, well, he’ll most likely get shot down, and I waited for her to reject him… And waited… And waited… Until the two of them walked off, to my shocked surprise.

Once again, the man was the only one of the two to return. It was effortless; most gods would fail and then need to devise some type of scheme to convince the woman to sleep with them… Except for Zeus, who just sort of turned into animals to get close to them, then… Well, besides Zeus’s weird kinks, the man made his way to the next goddess. Alright, I could understand Athena, but Artemis was the exact opposite.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Artemis with a man and most men tended to avoid her because of how manly she was. She was also the goddess of chastity. Yes, with her great big belly laugh, it was clear she was just about to reject him… Except they left together… No, that can’t be true. He must have gone off to have an archery contest with her. That is the only thing that makes sense… Except he’s the only one to return.

Idun next, the party was slowly clearing out of goddesses, and it was clear I was the only one who noticed the absences so far, but soon someone else would notice… Right? I started to feel crazy; it took a lot to surprise me, and this new god just kept surprising me over and over again. Idun went with him right away. The short, few-minute conversations he had with the other goddesses were condensed down to a few exchanges before the two left together.

I couldn’t help but instinctively gulp as he made his way over to Freya. Freya was Odin’s second wife after Frigg. Both were known for very similar things, but the main thing both were known for was their loyalty to their husband… I watched with bated breath as I was still the only one to notice this happening. I kept seeing the future where she would reject him and draw attention, then Odin would smite him dead but that never came. Instead, both of them left together with him returning after.

He moved on to Frigg next. She had become bitter as her husband replaced her with a newer model but still remained loyal to him to this day… And after this day that wouldn’t be the case anymore as they left together next. I couldn’t help but rub my eyes as I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating or not. It wouldn’t have been the first time, or even the ten thousandth time, that someone slipped hallucinogenics into my wine.

My mouth hung open in slack-jawed confusion as the man made his way over to Hera next. Hera was possibly the most loyal and crazy for her husband than any other goddess. She didn’t blame her husband for cheating but instead blamed the women he slept with and the children he sired that weren’t hers. With a giggle, the two of them left and I was now put in an awkward position on whether or not I should tell Zeus about this.

I decided to just pretend like I hadn’t seen anything as explaining that the new god showed up and fucked everyone would probably go terribly for me for not mentioning it sooner. All their hatred would be directed towards the new god instead of me. I just kept drinking as I waited for him to return… But he didn’t. Days and then weeks went by as some of the other gods left to get some rest before returning. Both Zeus and Odin left. I wasn’t sure how the man had evaded Odin’s all-seeing eye, but at this point, I was just impressed at what he had accomplished.

I kept partying, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I waited for either Zeus or Odin to call out to all gods to come witness his death, but it just didn’t happen. Instead, the man comes running back into the party garden completely naked, carrying the goddess Hestia. It didn’t take a genius to see cum leaking from her thoroughly fucked hole as Zeus chased after him.

Zeus looked weakened, somehow like he had been struck with an attack that made it impossible for him to recover even through the usage of divinity. I hadn’t thought it possible, but he had a limp to his gait as he made his way towards the fleeing man. The man looked almost happy; at least, the large smirk on his face led me to believe that as Zeus flung a lightning bolt at the two.

For a brief moment, it looked like the bolt would land. The man moved faster than Hermes as he dodged the attack while throwing Hestia up into the air so she wouldn’t get struck. In that single instant, the man appeared in front of Zeus and kicked him in the balls with such force that the divinity that held him together shuddered under the blow.

His attack bypassed the divinity of one of the strongest gods of battle as even the mighty Zeus was brought low from the dirty blow the other god used against him. Before Hestia could land, the man suddenly appeared back where he was and caught her. Zeus toppled over and began to puke from the world sundering blow launched against his testees.

Just before he left the garden, Odin entered from the other side dragging Frigg by her arm as he was going to have her point out the man who slept with her. It wasn’t my place to judge his actions, but out of Zeus and Odin, I would put Odin as the stronger god. His son, Thor, was about the same level as Zeus, so Odin must have been stronger.

The smirk fell off the man's face when he saw Zeus. At first, I thought it was because he knew how much trouble he was in, but as he rushed towards him enraged, I knew it wasn’t fear of what Odin would do to him but anger at how Odin treated the woman he dragged into the garden. Moving even faster somehow, Hestia was placed standing as the man pulled a sword out of nowhere. Odin suddenly lost an arm before figuring out what was happening. The arm that held his ex-wife, Frigg, was cleaved from his body in less time than it took a god to blink.