I was watching short videos and historical figures were collectively vomiting blood!

Chapter 10 Cao Cao – Killing Cao Pi for Fun

[12:26] Liu Xiu, who can summon meteors, is born. [12:32] Wang Mang usurps the Han throne, establishing the Xin dynasty. [12:37] Liu Xiu captures Chang’an; Wang Mang dies, the Xin dynasty falls, Liu Xiu ascends the throne, marking the end of the Western Han and the establishment of the Eastern Han. [12:41] Liu Xiu is officially crowned emperor, uniting the land. [12:49] Liu Xiu passes away, posthumously honored as Emperor Guangwu. [13:06] Cai Lun improves the papermaking process. [13:17] Zhang Heng invents the seismograph. [13:35] “The Blue Sky is Dead, the Yellow Sky Shall Rise” – The Yellow Turban Rebellion erupts.

At this point, Emperor Wu of Han was bewildered.

“Who is this Liu Xiu? And why can he summon meteors?”

“And also, what exactly is a meteor?”

“Where is my Grand Historian? Explain this to me.”

Sima Qian stepped forward from the crowd. At this time, he had not yet suffered the punishment of castration.

“Your Majesty, meteors must be celestial stones from beyond the sky—the stars we see at night,” Sima Qian quickly explained.

He then cited ancient texts, finally making Emperor Wu understand what meteors were.

The historical text Bamboo Annals recorded.

“In the tenth year of Emperor Gui (1809 BCE, during the Xia dynasty), the five planets were in disorder, and meteors rained down at midnight.”

This was the earliest written record of a meteor shower in history.

“What? Does that mean this Liu Xiu is like those immortals from the Battle of Muye?”

“In other words, another such person appeared in later generations?”

Truth be told, Sima Qian found it hard to believe. He preferred to think that the so-called immortals of the Shang and Zhou eras had long ascended to the celestial realm, forever separating the mortal world from the divine.

But the celestial screen was revealing history itself.

“Perhaps… or maybe he was simply deified over time.”

As a historian, he remained skeptical and precise. Yet, a fleeting thought of seeking immortality flashed through Emperor Wu’s mind.

After all, seeing millennia of time pass like shooting stars overhead—who wouldn’t desire to witness history firsthand?

—

[13:24] Cao Cao is born. [13:27] Liu Bei is born. [13:34] Sun Quan is born. [13:36] Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei swear brotherhood in the Peach Garden. [13:43] Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei visit Zhuge Liang three times; Zhuge Liang presents the Longzhong Plan. [13:44] The Battle of Red Cliffs establishes the foundation of the Three Kingdoms. [13:48] Cao Cao dies, Cao Pi succeeds him, and Cao Zhi composes the Seven-Step Poem.

“After the glorious midday of the Han Dynasty, Chinese history now enters an unprecedented era of transformation!”

[13:48] Cao Pi declares himself emperor. [13:48] Liu Bei declares himself emperor. [13:49] Sun Quan declares himself emperor. [13:49] Liu Bei entrusts his heir to Zhuge Liang in Baidi City; Zhuge Liang launches multiple Northern Expeditions. [13:53] During the final Northern Expedition at Wuzhang Plains, Zhuge Liang tragically falls ill and passes away; Jiang Wei inherits his legacy. [13:58] Sima Yi stages a coup, taking control of Wei. [14:03] Shu Han collapses; Ji Kang is executed, marking the end of an era for the Guqin melody Guangling San. [14:04] Sima Yan usurps the throne, ending Cao Wei. [14:10] Eastern Wu falls, and the Three Kingdoms are unified under the Jin dynasty.

The entire Three Kingdoms period erupted into chaos at the revelation of the celestial screen.

Cao Cao looked up at the display.

“I, Cao Mengde, remained a loyal subject of Han until my death!”

“Pi’er, you did not disgrace my efforts. Your ascension to the throne at least fulfills a wish of mine.”

“Xu Chu, drag this unfilial son out and execute him!”

Xu Chu stood dumbfounded.

Beside him, the ever-adept schemer Cao Pi feigned terror, cautiously pleading, “Father, why do you wish to kill me…?”

Cao Cao remained silent.

Did he really think he hadn’t seen through his son’s scheming nature?

Killing him now was just a warning.

Had the posthumous situation not required a shrewd emperor to navigate the political turmoil, Cao Cao might not have paved the way for him at all.

Fate was fickle. It was Cao Zhi—the brilliant poet—who suffered the most.

“Zhi, it wasn’t me who killed you!”

Cao Cao sighed inwardly.

If this were the modern age, he would simply say, “Let’s check the VCR!”

Maybe then Cao Pi would finally understand.

—

[14:04] Sima Yan declares himself emperor. [14:23] The Western Jin dynasty is destroyed by northern nomads.

Western Jin lasted for only 18 minutes and 6 seconds.

[14:23] The southern nobility reestablishes a dynasty in Jiangnan, known as the “Migration of the Gentry to the South.” [14:36] Wang Xizhi composes Preface to the Orchid Pavilion. [14:47] The Battle of Fei River—Former Qin invades Eastern Jin but suffers a disastrous defeat. [14:48] The Northern Wei dynasty is founded. [15:00] Liu Yu overthrows Eastern Jin, ending its reign.

Eastern Jin lasted for 37 minutes and 37 seconds. Sima Yi stared at the celestial screen, his mind racing. This screen was practically revealing the grand design of history!

He was torn between shock and excitement. His Sima family ultimately ended the Three Kingdoms era and unified the land—an unparalleled achievement.

But at this moment, with Cao Cao, Liu Bei, and Sun Quan still at their peak, balance had yet to be broken. Unification was inevitable, but not yet!

He was on the verge of spitting blood—this celestial screen was ruining his plans!

“Prepare my horse! I must meet the Prime Minister immediately!”

Cao Cao was known for his suspicion. Sima Yi needed to quell any doubts right away—his clan still had to endure and bide its time.

—

“Big Brother, I knew that Sima Yi was no good!”

Zhang Fei’s eyes burned with fury. He wanted to tear the man apart with his bare hands.

Guan Yu’s voice was cold.

“Brother, grant me an army, and I shall bring you Sima Yi’s head.”

Zhuge Liang, meanwhile, was fixated on the words “numerous Northern Expeditions” and “dying of illness.”

A deep melancholy settled over him. The Three Kingdoms era had no shortage of brilliant minds—hence its enduring stalemate.

“Master, we must ally with Sun Quan to fight Cao Cao. Then, we can strategize further.”

But at the thought of Zhou Yu, Zhuge Liang felt a headache coming on. Zhou Yu was a formidable strategist—not his equal, but still a challenge.

—

Zhu Yuanzhang sighed as he watched the celestial screen. Since the Qin unification, only in the Han dynasty had the people truly enjoyed peace.

Warfare and power struggles were but a game for the rulers. The people suffer when the empire rises, the people suffer when the empire falls.

Sensing his father’s mood, Zhu Di spoke firmly.

“Father, a true emperor rules for his people, aligning with the natural order.”

Zhu Yuanzhang nodded in approval. His sons had grown wise. But he glanced at Zhu Di—there was an unmistakable aura of imperial ambition about him. Meanwhile, Zhu Biao seemed… somewhat lacking in comparison.

He sighed and turned back to the celestial screen.

—

[15:58] Yang Jian establishes the Sui dynasty. [16:01] Yang Jian unifies China. [16:05] Li Shimin is born!