Eighteen’s Bed

The summer when even glass ripens.

I held my phone with both hands and observed a male high school student eating a popsicle. Very intently.

A male high school student sucking on a melting popsicle. A fire hydrant. A cat. An ankle with sharply defined ankle bones. A male high school student who sorts recyclables twice a week. That's odd. Why? Once a week should be enough. Maybe he's doing it for someone else. My thoughts always drift elsewhere. My concentration is worthless.

A male high school student standing still, staring at the sky. That’s not even worth watching. Why am I looking at something so stupid? Annoyed, I mimicked him and looked up. Oh. The clouds looked exactly like a whale. Since I was at it, I took a picture of the clouds too.

A male high school student laughing among his friends. When he smiles, a faint dimple appears on one cheek. What's so funny? I turned my lens, searching for the cause of the laughter.

"……."

It was really Han Junwoo.

That bastard? Did he say something funny? How? What the hell could he have said that was funny?

"……Why is he laughing?"

Kang—Jun. Gaaang—Jun.

As Kang Jun became more well-known while hanging out with Han Junwoo, the evaluations he received were downright awful.

A fundamentally, absurdly unfunny bastard. A buzzkill who ruins the mood by being overly serious. A coward who slinks away the moment things get too exciting. And yet, he’s obnoxious to the mediocre kids in a way that makes him even more unbearable.

In an all-boys’ school, an unfunny bastard is worse than an actual bastard.

But those who hate bastards still hang out with him. Because he’s smart. Because his family has money.

Of course, I figured he was some rich kid from a well-off family.

And deep down, I was disappointed in him. How does someone live without messing around? For the first time, I gave that goody-goody pushover a minus score. I wholeheartedly agreed with the kids who hated bad people. The kind of person who ruins the mood by getting all serious is the worst. Just like Choi Sunghyun.

After lunch, near the school store, a great idea struck me—almost like divine revelation, urging me to mess with this guy. And I, being a devoted follower, decided to act immediately.

"Sunghyun-ah. I can’t open this. Can you do it for me?"

"The hell did you just say? You can’t open a bottle cap? Yo, Yohan, you’re such a weakling."

"Yeah, I'm a weakling."

It’s not like I’m planning to do anything bad. Just a little prank. I like pranks.

Choi Sunghyun reached to snatch the bottle from me, but I tightened my grip. The way he struggled, unable to pull it away, made me grin. Ah, just imagining what’s about to happen is making me laugh. What do I do?

Sunghyun’s attempts to take the bottle ended in complete failure. His suspicious expression made it even harder to hold back my laughter, and I let out a sharp breath through my nose.

"What the hell are you laughing at?"

"I have rhinitis."

"Since when?"

I waved my hand dismissively, then tilted the bottle’s cap toward Sunghyun.

"Hurry up and open it. I’m thirsty."

"Ah, shit. You’re so annoying. If I open this, you owe me ten bucks."

"Okay."

"This isn’t soda, right?"

I made an 'O' shape with my hand. Sunghyun smiled and twisted the bottle cap open with all his strength. Crack. The cap, untouched until now, popped off effortlessly. He looked slightly proud of himself, shrugging his shoulders, but I finally let out the laughter I had been holding in.

At the same time, I clenched the bottle tightly in my grip.

The plastic crumpled miserably in my hands, and the displaced water shot out, soaking Sunghyun’s smug face in an instant.

"Haha, ahaha!"

"You little—! Fuck!"

"Wow, holy shit, Yohan, he actually fell for it? Ah, fuck, he looks so stupid! How did he fall for that?"

A chorus of malicious laughter erupted from all around. The audience, eagerly waiting for my prank, was thoroughly entertained. I had proudly declared that I would splash Sunghyun before even buying the bottle. Everyone had been anticipating it. They loved it. The greatest happiness for the greatest number. Utilitarian joy had arrived in our classroom.

"You scared the shit out of me, you bastard!"

Even Sunghyun, after wiping off his shock, started laughing along. He must’ve found it funny. The bright classroom felt incredibly satisfying.

But he apparently hates stuff like this.

I stared at the half-empty bottle in my hand, then casually tossed it toward Sunghyun.

Licking the drink off my fingers, I muttered,

"Hey, you guys go up first."

"The fuck, Yohan, why?"

"If I stick around you guys, I’ll get dirty too."

A Grade 1 water source can’t be next to Grade 5 filth.

I kindly explained to these future pieces of garbage why we couldn’t possibly coexist.

"Go ahead and live like trash. Bye."

"You fucking—"

Not long ago, Kim Minho, whom I had beaten up, started mouthing off again, so I flipped him the middle finger.