Diary of a Dead Wizard

On stage, Monica didn’t care whether her actions frightened the children around her. She extended her index finger and, as if pinching a candy, effortlessly picked up the crystal ball.

“Meditation. Immerse yourself through mental focus, sense the elements around you, draw them into your body, and merge them with your own magic. This is the most stable way to enhance your magical power.”

The crystal ball gently rotated on Monica’s fingertip, with arcs of white lightning flashing through it now and then.

“Meditation also stabilizes your mental state. If one day you realize you're on the verge of losing control, you can try using meditation to maintain some degree of clarity.”

Monica curled her red lips into a slight smile as if she recalled something amusing.

“Of course, if you can’t resolve the root cause of your breakdown, you’ll still go mad in the end.”

Then, Monica began teaching the new apprentices how to enter a meditative state.

She had each person choose from a set of meditation diagrams in front of them, whichever one looked most pleasing or least dizzying, and observe it through the crystal ball.

Saul fought off his nausea and flipped quickly through the booklet in his hands.

It was a diagram of multiple figures walking in a circle.

At the top of the diagram was a normal adult man. To his left was a nearly identical figure, but a closer look revealed a difference in posture: this second man had slightly bent knees and raised hands.

The third figure looked almost the same again, but this time, his arms extended slightly to the sides, and his heels lifted a bit as he bent his knees.

Each figure’s posture differed just a little, like the key frames of an animation, collectively forming a progressive walking sequence.

It reminded Saul of how animations are made.

He followed the dense lineup of figures downward, observing them one by one. But when he got to the lowest point of the diagram and saw the final upside-down figure, he suddenly realized with a chill that the figure had turned into an octopus-like monster.

The change hadn’t been abrupt.

When Saul looked back up through the diagram, he didn’t notice any clear differences between each figure and the next. Yet the last image unmistakably depicted a creature.

A person, walking and walking, had turned into a monster, and he hadn’t noticed a single thing wrong along the way.

As if... people were monsters all along.

Fighting the nausea and blurriness, Saul traced the images counterclockwise this time, carefully noting every subtle shift.

There seemed to be differences but also none.

When he reached the top again, the monster had become a man once more.

Saul couldn’t take it anymore. He clutched his eyes and collapsed backward.

But before he hit the ground, a pair of hands caught him and helped him back up.

Laughter echoed nearby.

Tears streamed from Saul’s eyes. He couldn’t see clearly. Assuming it was Keli who had helped him, he muttered softly, “Thanks.”

“There’s nothing funny about this. He collapsed because he viewed the entire diagram, unlike you all—who give up the moment you feel dizzy!”

The voice rang out, and Saul realized it was actually Instructor Monica who had caught him.

His eyes were less painful now. He managed to open them slightly and vaguely saw the woman beside him.

Monica looked at the teary-eyed boy and couldn’t help but smile. She glanced down at the diagram he’d chosen, surprise flashing briefly in her eyes.

But she quickly returned to her gentle demeanor.

“Exploration takes courage, but also moderation. Your mental strength is decent. Try using the crystal ball now and immerse yourself.”

“Thank you, Instructor.”

Perhaps because Saul had progressed quickly, Monica began using him as a demonstration, guiding the other newcomers through the process.

Many of the older students looked on enviously.

And Saul lived up to expectations he entered a meditative state on his first try.

Immersed in meditation, and viewing the human-to-monster diagram through the crystal ball, no longer made him dizzy.

One by one, the images of people and creatures lifted off the page and entered his mind.

Soon, everything around him blurred. Sounds seemed to come from distant skies.

The world dimmed, then brightened again.

What lit up Saul’s world was a collection of colorful glowing orbs.

Following Monica’s guidance, he focused on the closest light orb and gently drew it toward his forehead.

It went smoothly. The first elemental particle obediently entered Saul’s body and fused into something bubble-like within his mind.

Excited, Saul immediately attempted to draw in another.

He didn’t notice that beside him, Instructor Monica's brows had furrowed slightly.

She stepped away from Saul and walked around the classroom, instructing other apprentices to try meditating like Saul.

Not everyone could immerse themselves so easily. Many hadn’t even found a suitable meditation diagram yet.

“Keep your crystal balls with you. They help filter out dangerous things and keep your meditation stable. Until you reach the Second Rank, I don’t recommend meditating without them.”

Monica returned to the front, patiently reiterating the key points of meditation. But she no longer gave hands-on guidance as she had with Saul.

Some students were quietly resentful. How could a so-called “cheater” of an apprentice deserve the instructor’s undivided attention?

Still, no one dared voice their dissatisfaction.

The first meditation lesson soon ended, but Saul remained deeply immersed even after the room emptied.

Keli had planned to wake him, but Monica stopped her.

Keli gave Monica a puzzled look, only to see her wearing a mysterious smile.

“You go on. I have something to say to him alone.”

Keli eyed Monica with suspicion from head to toe.

Being stared at like that by a red-haired little girl made Monica’s face darken instantly. But before she could scold her, Keli zipped away—

Not forgetting to close the door on her way out.

Monica walked back to Saul, snapped her fingers—

A crackle of electric sparks landed right on Saul’s forehead.

Jolted by the sudden shock, Saul woke up. He opened his eyes to see Monica’s long legs standing right in front of him.

“Instructor Monica!” He looked around, finally noticing the empty room.

“Sorry, Instructor. I’ll leave right away.”

Saul apologized repeatedly as he packed his things.

“Elemental perception that was meant to be covered in my next class,” Monica said coolly, her red lips barely parting. “Elemental perception is actually a trait of mental strength. Just like people have different appearances, elemental perception varies from person to person.”

“It reflects your sensitivity to certain elemental particles. For example, take a sheet imbued with red, yellow, and green attributes. Now, throw red, yellow, green, and blue stones onto it. What color do you think you’d see?”

Saul didn’t quite get it. “You mean... a sheet with red, yellow, and green colors?”

“Can you grasp it? It’s not just painted red-yellow-green. The sheet has those three attributes simultaneously.”

Saul seemed to catch on.

“If the sheet is red, yellow, and green at the same time... then the first thing I’d see would be the blue stone.”

Monica nodded. “Good. The body is like that sheet. Elemental attributes dull our perception of other elements. The color you can see the most clearly is the element you’re most attuned to. The strength of your mental power also affects how many elements you can perceive.”

With that, she scooped up the little skin-eating monster on the ground, swayed her hips, and left the classroom.

Leaving Saul standing there, utterly baffled.

“Instructor Monica... why did you tell me all that?”

Saul gathered his books and crystal ball, still puzzled.

The classroom wasn’t big, but he took a long time walking across it—slow, heavy steps, like his muddled thoughts.

“Only saw blue... only saw blue...”

As his hand touched the doorknob, Saul’s head snapped up.

“Wait—I didn’t see many dark element particles during meditation!”

The muscles on his face twitched wildly. His youthful face slowly contorted.

“My... my strongest elemental sense... isn’t for darkness!”

(End of Chapter)