Becoming Professor Moriarty’s Probability

Chapter 235: The Professor's Sorrow (2)

Ever since Charlotte, prepared to end everything once and for all, appeared at the professor’s study only to depart wordlessly.

The professor, having wandered aimlessly for a year without purpose, finally settled all of her attention on a singular objective.

The Complete Encyclopaedia of Pregnancy and Childbirth: Beginner’s Guide for New Mothers

Parenting Without Scolding

An Exploration of Newborn Behaviour: Principles and Values

The heavier her belly grew, the more the books stacked up in her study and the occasional papers she reviewed during her leave— all of them were about children and parenting.

Absorbing such information, while extensive, was not exactly boring for her as it filled the one area of knowledge lacking in the professor’s otherwise vast intellect. However, even though it was neither boring nor tedious, it was not enjoyable for her either.

If anything, what she craved now was closer to death than life, leaving no room for positive emotions to surface.

And yet, there was a reason she just could not allow herself to die.

The quiet tolerance of Charlotte and the other women, who had left the professor to wander aimlessly in her weakened state, wasn’t born out of indifference.

If she were to seek eternal rest now, the bloodline of that man they all loved would be completely severed.

Despite trembling with anger at that thought, none of them could bring themselves to harm the child— a mix of blood of the one they hated more than anything else in the world... coupled with the blood of the sole being they loved and cherished more than anything else in the world.

“... So a crying child shouldn’t always be comforted immediately?”

And so, the professor, wearing a blank, emotionless face to avoid negatively affecting the unborn child, absorbed parenting knowledge with almost ritualistic devotion, following the advice of the books.

“The most important thing is...”

But even this, by the sixth month of her pregnancy, the professor had to abandon.

“... The connection with the parents, particularly the mother.”

She had realised, no matter how much effort she put in, that she just would not be able to raise the child properly.

“That’s... beyond me.”

Even Adler, whom she had desperately wanted to keep by her side – even going as far as to offer her body to him – now left her doubting whether she had truly loved him at all.

“I c-can’t... feel the emotions necessary for that.”

Whenever she caught her reflection in the glass, her dull grey eyes stared back at her— so far removed from the brilliant golden eyes that haunted her dreams from time to time.

Surely, even if she gave birth, the child would inherit those same dull, lifeless eyes.

“... Hah.”

Surrounded by the roomful of baby clothes, bottles, and the finest parenting supplies she had stocked up, Moriarty let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes.

“.........”

It was often said that pregnant women suddenly developed cravings for specific foods, but no such signs manifested for the professor.

In fact, even sugar – something she once consumed by the crate – now elicited such a violent rejection that she could not even bear the taste of it on her tongue.

... It’s only natural.

Of course, deep down, the professor knew the reason.

After all, ever since that incident, there had only been one thing she truly desired.

However...

However, as the detective once told her, the very notion of yearning for such a thing while her eyes remained utterly untouched by colour gnawed away at her being from within.

“Hah...”

- Click...

Fully aware that such thoughts could affect the unborn child, the professor quietly extended her hand and turned on some classical music.

- ♩♪♫

“........”

Leaning back comfortably in her chair, she tried to calm herself as her mind wandered into rueful thoughts.

... Four more months.

Four months left until the reason she clung to life would disappear.

To anyone else, that might seem like the epitome of negativity, but to the professor, it wasn’t.

For it was that very thought, and that alone, that granted her respite from the relentless nightmares and despair that plagued her.

Do devils go to hell when they die?

Still, there was a small comfort for her in knowing that, having committed far too many atrocities in life, if hell existed, she would undoubtedly end up there.

... What if I go to purgatory?1

- ♩♪♫♪

Or worse, what if I simply vanish, without going anywhere at all?

Of course, occasionally, such thoughts would surge alongside an unfamiliar sense of fear that seized her body.

“......”

Nevertheless, even such fears were eventually washed away, as futile as grains of sand swept by the tide, leaving only resignation behind.

“... I’ve never felt time pass so slowly in all of my long existence.”

And so, the days of repetitive thoughts and endless monotony began anew, stretching out into an eternity of dull agony.

.

.

.

.

.

Thus, the day of delivery finally arrived.

“Um, uh... E-Excuse me, miss patient.”

“.......”

“It’s time to wake up now...”

“... Mmh.”

At the call of the attendants – hired at a steep price to ensure nothing would go wrong with the birth process – the exhausted professor slowly opened her eyes.

“What happened...?”

“You fainted right after it was over. It was a rare difficult labour...”

“Just watching it had our hearts in our throats...”

“... The child?”

The professor, her gaze blankly fixed on the attendants’ sweat-drenched faces, quickly snapped out of it and asked about the child.

“Thankfully, both babies were delivered safely!”

“Congratulations! A boy and a girl— you’ve birthed twins!”

As if on cue, the attendants smiled brightly and placed the swaddled infants into her arms.

“Oh...”

“They’re sleeping now, so don’t overstimulate them, alright?”

The professor stared blankly at the tiny, peacefully breathing children nestled in her arms for what felt like an eternity before finally speaking in a trembling voice.

“Are these children... truly mine?”

“Of course! We delivered them ourselves...”

“Your son’s hair is golden, and his eyes are grey. The daughter’s the opposite.”

“The father must’ve had golden hair and eyes, huh?”

The attendants replied kindly to the professor’s seemingly innocent question.

“... Indeed.”

Nodding absentmindedly, the professor began to gaze at the infants in her arms, her expression unreadable.

“Umm?”

“Hmm?”

“......!”

As if sensing her gaze, the babies, true to their lineage, slowly opened their eyes.

“”........?””

“O-Oh...”

When the little ones bobbed their heads side to side, inspecting her just as she might have done habitually, the professor’s initial surprise softened into a faint smile. A tender whisper leaked out of her lips.

“I’m your mum~”

“”.........””

The two babies stared at her for a moment, eyes opened unnaturally wide.

“Kyaa~”

“Kkyaak~”

“Oh my, what adorable babies~”

“They already recognise their mother? And they’re not even crying, how remarkable!”

As the children broke into giggles and smiled back at her, the attendants clapped their hands, fussing over the scene.

“........”

Meanwhile, the professor, her face momentarily blank amidst the commotion, remained silent.

- Squeeze...

“Kyah?”

“Hmph?”

Closing her eyes tightly, Moriarty pulled the babies close to her chest. The infants, looking slightly confused, nuzzled into her embrace.

“Yes... you’re my children...”

“Uh, ma’am, if you hold them that tightly—“

“No one else’s... but mine...”

It was the precise moment when Professor Moriarty’s retirement plans were completely overturned.

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A few weeks later, in the professor’s study.

“This... this... this isn’t what we agreed upon......”

“Exactly! You— You can’t do this...!!”

The once-quiet study, silenced for some time by the professor’s extended leave, was now filled with the furious voices of Princess Clay and Silver Blaze.

“If you step forward like this, then we’ll have to—!”

“Lower your voices.”

However, the icy voice of the professor, reminiscent of the old days, filled the room for the first time in a long while, silencing the two women’s protests.

“You’ll scare the children.”

“... Ha.”

“......”

Their eyes then fell on the two infants cradled protectively in the professor’s arms, and their angered expressions twisted further, their bodies trembling with suppressed rage.

“... I don’t care what anyone says.”

Moriarty’s voice dropped to a low, calm tone as she addressed them, her gaze unwavering.

“But I won’t give up the children.”

Her firm declaration hung in the air as she shifted her focus to Celestia Moran, who had grown noticeably since the last time they met, standing silently between the two women.

“From today onward, I plan to rebuild the organisation.”

“........”

“So, you’ll join me. Without you, it’ll be difficult to run the operations.”

Moran’s response came with a cold, sharp look.

“And if we refuse?”

“... Then I’ll have no choice but to hold you accountable for letting go of Adler’s hand when it mattered most.”

The professor’s venomous whisper sent a visible shiver through Moran, her face instantly paling as she lowered her head.

“”........””

Silence hung thickly in the room for a long moment.

“... Just remember one thing.”

Breaking the quiet, Princess Clay stepped forward, gripping Moran’s shoulder, her voice sharp and her pointed teeth bared as she addressed the professor.

“We don’t serve you out of loyalty.”

She cast a fleeting glance at the infants nestled in Moriarty’s arms before turning on her heel, leading the now-muted Moran and the still-fuming Silver Blaze out of the study without another word.

“..... Ha.”

“Ahng?”

“Hnng?”

“Ah, it’s nothing, my dears.”

The professor, who had been glaring icily at their retreating figures, softened immediately when her children looked up at her with worried eyes. She smiled warmly and nuzzled their tiny cheeks.

“Hnnng...”

“Waaah...”

“... Hmm. Perhaps I should’ve read more about this.”

However, sensing the children’s displeasure, the professor averted her gaze, a sheepish look on her face.

“I haven’t thrown it away... it must still be somewhere... hmm?”

With a sudden thought, she began rummaging through the belongings she had brought from her private library, just in case.

“This is...”

Among the books and baby supplies, her hand landed on a familiar object— the gift Adler had left behind. She froze, staring at it blankly for a moment.

“.........”

For a long while, she simply gazed at the package, her thoughts swirling. Then, almost unconsciously, her hand reached out and grasped the ribbon tied around it.

- Shhh...

Her hands trembled as though possessed, yet they moved steadily, unravelling the ribbon that seemed as though it would never come loose.

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.

“........”

After an unknown breadth of time.

“This is...”

The professor, having untied the ribbon completely, found herself staring at the small, dust-covered object inside the box. Her words faltered, her expression blank and lost.

In memory of our first meeting.

Alongside a short note, scrawled with the now painfully nostalgic doodle of a devil, was—

From your eternal assistant.

— None other than the item Adler had nervously fidgeted within his pocket during their very first personal meeting.

At the time, Adler likely hadn’t known, but the item was nothing more than an ordinary mana accumulator, devoid of any trace of mana within it.

“........”

The professor gazed at the relic of nostalgia for a long time, her expression unreadable.

“........?”

Suddenly, she noticed something trickling down her face. Confused, she tilted her head toward the mirror in front of her.

“Ah...”

Frozen in place, she stared at her reflection.

- Drip...

From her eyes, now coloured in the golden hue she had longed for so desperately, tears were falling incessantly.

“Ah... Aaaaaaagggghh....”

These weren’t just biological tears— they were born of raw emotion, the only of its kind that could have saved her beloved Adler.

“Ah, agh... Agggghhh...”

“Hnng?”

“Hmmp?”

As the professor bowed her head and let out a heart-wrenching wail, realising that it was far too late, the babies cradled in her arms began to pout and tear up quietly at seeing their mother’s sadness.

“I miss you... dearest Adler...”

Even so, the immortal, who had realised far too late what love truly was, could not stop crying.

“... Just once, even just once would be enough.”

“Waaahhh...”

“Hwaaaahhh...”

“I want to see you again, my beloved Adler...”

The professor’s study, now a sea of tears, remained tightly shut for days afterwards, its mournful silence speaking louder than any words.

Footnotes

1. There is a significant difference between hell and purgatory according to Catholic doctrine and some other Christian traditions. Hell is a permanent state for those who have rejected God and their sins are not forgiven. Purgatory, on the other hand, is a temporary state where souls undergo purification from any remaining imperfections or venial sins before entering heaven.In Catholic teaching, purgatory is necessary because nothing unclean can enter heaven, as stated in Revelation 21:27. Souls in purgatory are purified through suffering and the prayers of the faithful on Earth can help shorten their time there. The souls in hell, however, are in a state of eternal separation from God due to their unrepentant sins.