Back to the Present

After the fiasco which was last night, I decided it was best to not face Kirishima with just the two of us for a while. I get the feeling he's going to bring up going to America and I don't think I'd be able to hide it well enough when it's just us. He's going to be able to see through my faking it too easily. So for the first time ever this year, I head to class before Kirishima. Something about it just feels wrong. It's just not the same to just wake up and have Kirishima talking about whatever he and the idiots got up to while I was asleep. His voice is such a nice thing to get to listen to first thing in the morning. It's gotten a lot deeper after our first year. After I heard his voice after meeting each other the first day of year 2 I almost choked on my coffee. It got to be so rich and deep almost like overnight for me. The fact that it was actually three months passed my mind at the time.

"Fucking hell Shitty hair, give me a warning that your voice changed before talking like your the spokes person for the next Ford commercial." At that comment I got to hear the smoothest and richest laugh out of his new voice.

"If you would pay attention and not turn me into the splash zone, I was about to tell you!" From that moment onward, I made it my mission to always have it be the first thing I hear in the morning. Something about it was so soothing as a gentle way to wake up in the morning.

I'm really starting to miss having it be the first voice after the first voice I got to hear today was a whining Pikachu at loosing to Mario Kart last night, apparently. Not to long after a Kirishima walks in all by himself and looking a little sad. Dammit! Now I feel bad I didn't say anything before coming to class today. Seeing his face, all I can think of is how in just a couple months from now I won't be able to see or hear him first thing in the morning everyday. I space out a bit at the thought before I realize that he apparently waved at me. Before I get more bummed out over Kirishima for the day I make sure to flip him off before looking away and towards the front of class.

Once class is over I head upstairs and put my plan from last night into action. I decided that it would be best if I wait out in my room before I hear Kiri going to bed. Then once I know it's clear, I head down to Pikachu's room and ask him about why he isn't upset at all at Kiri leaving. Out of all of the gang, he's the next closest to Kiri so I decided he was the best bet to ask. Though asking Mina was a close second seeing as she's the best with emotions in general. Kirishima is better at her when he's decoding my emotions, which is something I do not want to be seen through about right now. So I decided to take the safer route by just asking him. It's a study day tomorrow so I know Kirishima will be heading to bed long before he does.

Finally as soon as 10:30 hits, I hear Kirishima drag himself from the elevator. Not long after I hear the tell tale sign of his door opening and closing before an aggressive flop. He waits not even a second before I hear him letting out a long sigh of relief as soon as he hits his bed. I decide to wait about 15 minutes after he's in bed before heading out so that he'll be asleep and won't notice me leaving. After the times up I try to quietly open and close my doors before heading to the stairs down to Kami's room.

Once at Kami's room I pause before just throwing open the door. I want to ask him something along the lines of a favor. But this is Kami we're talking about. There's a good chance he's immediately going to pick fun at me and I'm going to leave with no answers. UGH! Fuck this double thinking shit. I decide to at least be somewhat respectful and rap a few aggressive knocks before letting myself in. At the semi-aggressive entrance I see a confused Kami spin around and stare at me. Ugh. "Hey Kacchan? If your looking for Kiri he's already in bed. Wait, what are you doing up? It's like two hours past your usual bedtime."

At his comment all I do is stare at him unamusingly before shoving my hands in my pockets so I don't impulsive fiddle with them. At my silence he seems a bit shocked. Then that's when I hear a woop from Mina as she finishes in first place seeing that Kami was distracted. "Finally! First place! Take that Kami! I told you I'd beat your ass at this today." At that he quick turns around and whines, "Hey! Not fair! I was talking to Bakugou! I demand a rematch!"

"No way. I'm taking my win and leaving while I'm ahead!" Then she pointedly drops the controller and turns to leave when we lock eyes. "Dam! It really is Bakugou! So what brings you down here at this late hour?"

"Ugh, I knew this was a stupid idea. Never mind" As I turn on my heels to leave realizing that it isn't just Kami here, I'm lightly grabbed by the wrist by Mina.

"Something must be up if your willingly awake now, and came down to Kami's room." Dam her and her intuition. This was why I just wanted to talk to the dumbass and leave. No use lying, she'll see right through it.

"I was just going to ask about Kiri, but it seems like you two are busy there."

"Kami starts, Uh yeah. Let's get back to me kicking your ass at...," but Mina interrupts him, "No no! Something must be up. No time to be a sore loser." She looks at me with this expectant look in her eyes, and as I sigh and turn back around does she let go of my wrist. She grabs one of kami's pillows to lean on as she sits cross legged on the floor. All she does is pat the floor next to her. I let out a sigh, no use heading back she already knows somethings up. I close the door and drag my way over to in front of both of them, but make sure to cross my arms as I stare her dead in the eyes with a slightly annoyed expression. Once I'm sitting does she speak up "So what did you want to ask about Kirishima?"

"I don't know, it's just ... Ugh! Are you really going to expect me to casually spill my guts out."

"Well you were the one that came here." Mina said back.

"Yeah but I was just going to ask Kami one thing and then dip and threaten him if he tried to tell anyone about it. Not you! Who knows way to much about other people's emotions for your own good." Katsuki told them.

"Hey! Who do you take me for! I probably wouldn't have told anyone!" Whined Kami.

"Your a gossiping little bitch that can't keep a secret. We all know it, hence the planned threatening." Quipped Bakugou

Mina cuts kami off before he can talk. "Nah he's got you there." he just lets out a hmpf.

"I can probably give you better advice on Kirishima than Kami can. I've known him for longer than any of you. That and I can help your emotionally dense ass explain some emotions." Mina explained.

"Alright nope, this was a bad idea." Katsuki says while starting to stand up.

"Wait, no! You know what I mean though! Clearly something is bothering you and you want to understand it better from someone else. Who else but the best person you know at un-encrypting emotions! If it makes you feel any better whatever is said in this room stays in this room."

"This is still my room I'll have you know!" says Kami in the background turning off the Switch.

"And you dam well know I can kick you out no problem, so what's said in this room stays in this room, or your getting kicked out of your own room. Deal?" rationed Mina

"Fine." pouts Kami.

"Now then, where were we." I stare at Mina for a second. She does have a point. The whole problem I'm having is that I don't know WHY I'm so upset. And she is the best at emotions other than Kirishima. And the look in her eyes shows that she is serious about keeping it secret."
"Fuck it I guess" Kats sighs out.

"Yay! So about Kirishima?" Mina asks intently.

Kami says sarcastically "What finally realized your huge fat cru-omph!" Mina agressively elbows kami in the side before he can finish. "One more sarcastic word outta you and your sitting in the hall", she says with scarily seriousness.

"Ow, fuck, fine fine." Then mina looks back at an uncomfortable looking bakugou and waits patiently. "Sooooo?"

"Ugh I don't know! It's just how everybody reacted to the news about him and going to America!" that seemed to confuse her a bit, not expecting that to be what was bothering me it seems.

"What about it?," then she squints menacingly, "Are you not happy that he got it? Because you of all people should be glad that he got somewhere as good as he did! Otherwise what were all those study sessions for? Fun?"

Kami adds, "Kirishima's company?" Another elbow jab, "Ow! That one wasn't even sarcastic!"

"You know why." Mina replies.

"What? No! I'd be more surprised if he didn't get somewhere as great as that in America. I guess I'd say I'm proud of him. Nice to know all that studying did pay off, and that so many others are realizing how great he is." Kats quickly replied.

Both Mina and Kami aww in unison. "I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said about anyone! Why would everyone else being happy about it and you being proud be a problem then."

"No, it's just how okay and happy everyone was that he's just leaving. Leaving Tokyo and Japan for good. I know he hasn't decided technically yet. But we all know he'd be an idiot to refuse this one. It just won't be the same with him gone thousands of miles away. Everyone seems ay ok with only being able to get a call or text a day from him and that's it, but I won't. It just won't be the same without him being here in person. In the same room, together, like we are almost everyday. Getting to hear his voice first thing in the morning, every morning. Hearing him talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. Seeing his cheeky little sharp toothed smile whenever he says something that'll pick fun at me, or being the reason he gives one of his rich long laughs. Hell even if he does nothing and we're just enjoying comfortable silence of doing our own things in the same room. It's something that just a text or call over the phone will never cover. It feels like he's leaving for good. Not Tokyo, but leaving me. After I finally got a real good person in my life that understands me, and doesn't try to change me. I don't want to start all over again to the asshole I was before he weaseled his way in. I like me better when I'm with him. I just don't think I can handle not being around him. I ... I ... I need him."

After really just spilling my guts out to the two most unexpected people I expected something. A laugh a confused stare, anything. But all I get is a shocked silence. After the long stretch that feels like forever, It's kaminari that breaks the tension.

"God Dam. He's got it BAD. Way more so than even you thought." he says while turning to Mina. He knew that Mina was the number one Kiribaku shipper out of the whole gang, but liking someone doesn't even come close to that. Katsuki is in love with his best friend, and doesn't even know it. Hell, can't understand it based off that waiting look on his face for Mina to say something to explain.

Even though Mina is still shell shocked by his words, she mumbles out "Do you, ... do you really not know what that means?"

"What are you two idiots bumbling on about? If you know something about it just spell it out for me already! I'm here because I don't know what that means clearly! Why is it just me that's so bothered?" Kats practically yells out.

"Bakugou, I think Kirishima means a lot more to you than just a best friend."

"What's more than best friends?" Kats asks genuinely confused.

After a stretch of more silence, yet again kami interrupts *cough* *cough* ~boyfriends~ *cough*.

At the comment all Bakugou does it stare wide eyed at Kami. At that Mina whips around turn to him and after a smack to the back of the head, she goes, "Kaminari Denki! What's the one thing I told you! It's better if he figured that out on his own!"

After some more commotion between the two of them play wrestling, and Mina easily beating Kami to the ground. Meanwhile Bakugou has been completely motionless and emotionless on his face. He croaks out a almost deafeningly quiet "What?"

At the quietness of Bakugou, Mina and Kami stop fighting immediately. " ... What ... do you mean?" At that statement all he does is look still surprised, but confused between the two faces.

Kami almost immediately says, "Ya know, like hold hands, go on dates, move in together, kiss, make out, fu-UMPH!" "Jesus Christ Kami! Your moving a little fast there! Look at him! He's short circuiting!"

As in like hold hands? go on dates? move in together? K-Kiss!? What is he on about?! I've never wanted to do any of those things to Kirishima! Sure when we need to go somewhere Kirishima will hold my wrist, but that's so that he knows I'm keeping pace with him and his long ass legs. And sometimes when he walk side by side our hands brush, and the feelings of the heat of his hands linger for longer than they probably should. He's always careful not to grab my hand fully because of the not used to touch things. So that doesn't really check out.

Dates huh? Pretty sure those are just when people go to some sappy romantic movies to go cuddle and hold hands or some shit. No, we've never done that as I shake my head. No, all we do is just hangout, usually just the two of us, almost everyday. But that's just enjoying each others company! And everyone here technically lives together! And it's their fault that they aren't more tolerable to be around like Kirishima. So what if we cook together almost everyday, well more like I cook for the both of us because Kirishima WILL start a fire. You'd swear he acts like an easily distracted squirrel. It's not like we share the same room either, we just happen to sleep over in each others dorms after intense study sessions usually at least once a week. But that's got to be different!

Besides I've never wanted to kiss Kirishima! Hell I've never really thought about kissing anyone! I've been focused on being number one in academics and battles for the class ever since I was a little kid. And why would I want to kiss the only first real friend I've ever had? I guess the closest I've ever physically been to kissing someone was with Kirishima. But that's just that he's the only one in class that's able to get past my speed and explosions to actually pin me down anymore. He's been able to do it so often I've stopped fighting to push him off as soon as he wins. It's the closest that I ever get to really see his new cheeky 'I won' smirk. It's usually pretty rare to see him get cocky over anything, the humble fucker. But being able to consistently win against the 2nd smartest and top three of the class has started to make him cocky lately.

I remember the first time he ever used the smirk on me back at the start of 2A. It was the first time we were sparring together after the summer break, and it seemed like he must have been doing a lot of yoga over the break with Fats and that shy guy. He was able to fluidly dodge all my attacks just like I always dodge his. After he was showing off for a good minute of just dogging did he actually attack back. Right after I did a mean right hook, right before I pulled back, he grabbed my wrist. His hands were easily able to wrap around my whole wrist and then some, and before I knew it he was sweeping my leg and the world was turning upside down. While midair he was able to grab my other wrist and pin them both uselessly above my head. At the change I stay there winded for a moment, before the fact that I was so easily pinned down kicks in. I move my hands and angle them right at his face and let off a huge blast out of anger. Once the smoke clears all that's left is a fully hardened head and the cheekiest of smirks that covers his whole face. The whole time he keeps me pinned he makes sure to keep his face hardened incase I try to throw another one at him. Through his smirk and hardening he tells me, "Ah, Ah, Ah~. You know better that your explosions don't work on me Blasty." The whole time he said he slowly leaned his whole face down until there was barley any distance between our noses. At the sudden closeness I stop Squirming and my eyes meet the fiery passion of his. And at the new emotion on his face so close, I pause. There's something behind the cheeky glare that makes me want to give up when I've never wanted to give up ever before in my entire life. He just looks so confident that he can handle anything I can throw at him. Seeing as he's quite literally a rock, he definitely can. That If I gave up control and my facade for just a second that he'd win and just let me go.

Even at the mere thought of wanting to give up, my resolve hardens. Instead of going limp to show him he's won, I just stare back at him with more determination than he showed me. Seeing I'm putting up a fight doesn't surprise him in the slightest. I can swear that it makes him get even more cockier. His smirk gets that ever bit bigger, and at this close distance, I can't help but stare at his sharp ass teeth. They looked sharp and the same everyday, but with his face hardened, you can swear that his teeth got even bigger and even more sharper somehow. The hardening is making them grind just ever so slightly. There's no way in any other scenario I would let those chompers get anywhere near me. But here, In the dirt? They're just close enough to admire. All I can think of is what would happen if he ever did get them near anyone, hell even me. I quick flick my vision up to his lips and ponder. Surely he's going to kiss probably some extra chick with that dangerous mouth of his. I may pick fun, but his personality is no joke. If it can get attention from the press, it's gotta be getting someone else's attention at some point. I can't help but feel like they'd definitely get in the way. Those shark teeth have got to hurt at some point. Hmm maybe they wouldn't get in the way at all. Hell, who knows, they could add to the whole experience. With my train of thought and obviously staring at his mouth, something in me loosen just that little bit for him to notice. At that Kirishima seems to notice that I'm staring between his teeth and his lips. At the sight it wipes the smile off his face that little bit, before it comes back even stronger. Through his smirk he says, "What is it Bakugou? See something you like~?" This time when he talks he leans down even farther so that he's telling it directly into my ear. At the comment and the closeness, my hands above me start to let out little explosions (defenetly must be) out of anger. I feel my face quickly heat, and I throw an extra sweaty explosion at Kirishima chest this time. Once the smoke clears I see that the explosion was a little more than I expected because it burned off most of his shirt. At the sight of not only a cheeky, but surprised, Kirishima, and being so close to his bear chest I finally lost it.

"All right! I get it you cheeky fucker, you won. Now back the fuck up, before I blow the rest of your shirt off." I try to threaten him. At this point I know that it looks like I'm blushing like a school girl right now, but really its just my face gets heated when I get really frustrated. (mhm, sure it is).

At seeing my aggressive blush all over my face, Kirishima's face drops to surprise and he lets go and backs off right away. "Shit, I'm sorry man! I didn't mean to push you too far and make you uncomfortable." He says while pointedly looking away like a sad puppy ready to be scolded. In full seriousness I keep my back away from him and say, "Just get up next time shitty hair, it was pretty obvious you won." With my back still turned I head towards the locker rooms planning to wash all the extra sweat off of me before I blow up someone who can't handle it.

"W-woah hey dude here are you going?!" Kiri asks hurriedly.

"To take a shower because some idiot thought that pinning me in the gross dirt was a better idea than in the grass" Kats says over his shoulder.

"Heh. Oh right. .... I'll see you later Bakugou?," he asks like a question, hopeful. I turn back to see still a sad puppy version of Kirishima.

I sigh as I say, "whatever shitty hair." I can feel more than see him light up behind me when he happily says a "See ya man!" He then runs over to who must be Aizawa to let him know I'm heading out. Dam that considerable fucker. Even after I went to hard and exploded his dam shirt off, he still puts me first and is letting Aizawa know what happens so I can get some space to cool off. I don't wait for any version of approval before I hit the showers and wash away all the thoughts of the day away.

He did keep his promise whenever he pined me from then on, he always makes sure to get off of me after just a little bit of time passes. At this point I'm used to his little routine and just lay limp until Kirishima deems it enough time to get off me. Even after more than a year since that happened that considerable fuck makes sure not to stay any longer than a couple seconds. Proves just how great of a friend, hell probably person he really is. Always remembers the little things.

At thinking back to that long buried memory, I can feel my face flush at the thought of it. I push through it by breaking up the little skirmish between the two idiots. "You guys don't know what your talking about. We don't do anything like that. All we do is hangout most of the day. That doesn't mean anything more than just what regular friends would do."

At that statement Mina's expressions hardens and she turns to face Bakugou completely, completely ignoring Kami at this point. "You want me to spell if out for you? ok fine. To put it in the simplest terms, You are in love with your best friend." at that wild statement all I can do is stare wide eyed in silence as she continues. "You love him way beyond the way that someone loves their friends. A normal friend would be selfless in this scenario. They would let them go without a second thought because they know that's what's best for them. When your in love with someone, you just want them and only them. It makes you act selfish. You are so upset that Kirishima will be leaving because you won't be able to be with him like you are now. You won't be able to have Kirishima. All you want is Kirishima, but nothing in particular from him. Just everything he has and is. You aren't looking for one thing, but you'd be missing a million little things. You won't be able to be twirling around each other while your both making food in the kitchen. Seeing his little cheeky smirk. Or even the comfortable silence the two of you always fall into when studying or watching movies. All you want is Kirishima's company, in any way you can.

At her words, they start to sink in. Like REALLY sink in. I DO want to do all those random things Kami listed off. I do want to walk around proudly holding his hand. That's why I always focus on the heat of where his hand was. Almost sear it into my brain. Kirishima doesn't hold my hand for me, It's because that's the next step to being in a relationship. Every time Kirishima and I hang out, it's practically a date! We hang out with each other almost every single day, but alone. Just being in each others company is like we're having a date. There's just a much more comfortable intimate air around when it's just us. Then there's wanting to kiss. Technically Kirishima is the closest I've ever gotten to a kiss. Then there was how he made me feel that day he pinned me. Is that what your supposed to feel like before a kiss? Like right before the drop in a rollercoaster, the pulling upwards of your shoulders as all you can do is just stare up at them, frozen. I... I guess so. So I want to kiss Ejirou, ... my best friend.

Even the statement alone makes my whole face blush. But that's so close to his face! I've never been physically that close to anyone! What are you even supposed to do? Just go in quick and that's it? Don't some people kiss for a long time sometimes, or even over and over? But which would Kirishima like? Would he kiss more quick and intense like our spars, or would it be slow and careful, trying his damndest to not hurt me with his teeth. Fucking... his... TEETH. There's no way they won't cause any problems with how sharp they are! Is even just a peck going to cut up my lip? Surely he's be much more careful than that! ... He'd ... he'd. Him. Oh shit. Kirishima.

The blush I once had is long gone, and all that's left is a ghost of me, then after many long beats of silence do I look up and at the two of them, and all I ask is, "What am I supposed to do now?"