Chapter 35: The Desire to Be Oneself
Xue Lie's tiger form relaxed into fluid softness, his muscular contours rippling beneath fur as his thick tail swayed lazily.
"Rrrrrr... Rrrrrr..." The deep purring vibrations spilled from him - his ultimate expression of comfort.
This familiar rumble I hadn't heard in nearly a decade transported me back to countless tranquil afternoons. I'd rest my head against his warm belly, lulled to sleep by these primal frequencies. He never realized how profoundly his vibrations eased my burdens.
Yu Tu lifted his vulpine face with aristocratic grace. "Must you make that noise?"
"No. I haven't purred since parting with Xiao Yao. Let me enjoy this." The rumbling deepened. "Rrrrrr... Rrrrrr..."
"......"
I smiled. This was the essence of demonfolk - shedding human disguises to embrace their true forms in safe spaces. Here, they answered to no clan expectations or familial pressures. Like me removing my capybara guise in dormitory privacy, we three had forged this sanctuary.
My heart ached knowing Xue Lie had suppressed this purr during our separation. "This shows trust," I told Yu Tu, "He reveals his true self to you."
The fox demon remained silent, extending claws for me to paint. He understood better than any the significance.
Yu Tu stared at the cartoonish designs before suddenly asking Xue Lie, "Why never purr at home?"
The tiger rolled onto his back, golden belly exposed. "Considered primitive. Clan forbids it." His amber eyes shifted. "Does yours permit fox instincts?"
Yu Tu's ears flattened. "Our clan... forbids displays of affection."
Memories surfaced of a fluffy kit rubbing against my ankles. "Didn't affection bring you joy?" Xue Lie pressed.
"Yes." The admission came barely audible.
"Then why separate from Xiao Yao in elementary school?" The tiger's gaze sharpened like an interrogator's. "Was it because you clung to her?"
Yu Tu's claws scored grooves in the table. "You're insufferable."
As Xue Lie resumed purring, I clasped Yu Tu's paw. His tension eased under my rhythmic patting. No words needed - three years of camaraderie spoke volumes.
My childhood isolation flashed before me - other demon children kept distant by protective parents fearing exposure. Only Yu Tu had breached that loneliness in kindergarten. When Xue Lie later departed too, I buried the pain until academic obsession propelled me forward.
A cramp made me stretch. Xue Lie immediately padded behind me, his purring vibrations massaging my back through warm fur. Yu Tu watched jealously as I melted against living cushions.
"Don't fight while I shower," I warned. Both avoided each other's gaze, territorial as cat and hound.
Emerging later, the intact room held divided territories - tiger to the east, fox to the west. I settled between their freshly groomed forms, breathing air perfumed with citrus and pine.
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