A Knight Who Eternally Regresses

"Follow your heart?"

If someone asked Jaxon whether he enjoyed killing people, he wouldn’t have an answer.

No matter how many times he thought about it, he couldn't tell if he found it enjoyable or not.

There were people in the guild who would go mad if they didn't see blood at least once a week, but Jaxon had never been one of them. However, honing his skills had always been fun. That, he was certain of.

"It’s not about stabbing a friend in the back—it’s about surviving, kid."

The Master's tone was always light, but his words were always true. That was what his father had meant.

Jaxon had simply interpreted it in his own way. That was what he had needed back then. He had to find something to throw into the fire of his revenge.

"Looking straight ahead doesn’t mean you should be shackled to the past, does it?"

The Master was right again.

His mother hadn’t wanted him to become someone bound by his lineage.

Jaxon had twisted that memory too, using it as fuel.

And he knew it.

"What I teach isn’t the art of murder."

"Then what is it?"

"That’s for you to figure out! Do I have to spoon-feed you everything?!"

It was a strange thing to say while teaching someone how to detect poison in their food.

The first time Jaxon met his Master, the man had asked:

"Are you coming? If so, I’ll teach you how to live."

Not how to survive—how to live.

Not an art of killing, just one way of living.

Jaxon had never let go of his killing intent. His aura had never wavered. Yet, he couldn’t stop his own mouth from moving.

"Can I stay?"

The words came straight from his heart, bypassing his mind entirely.

"If you can beat me, I’ll allow it."

Enkrid responded as he always did, in that steady, prepared manner of his.

"If it’s just one way to live..."

That wasn’t enough of a reason to keep living.

It was a new realization, one that struck him only after saying the words aloud.

Jaxon had never found anything to follow his heart for—other than revenge.

But now, he was sure of one thing.

Being by this man’s side was more enjoyable than killing him.

Rising through the ranks by honing his skills was enjoyable.

Watching his lover was enjoyable.

Then why not do it all?

He asked himself the question and already knew the answer. There was no need to dwell on it. It was obvious.

"Then I can stay."

Jaxon spoke.

Sunlight warmed his back. The summer sun intensified the heat within his body. A faint smile formed on his face as he stood in the shade.

That simple phrase—follow your heart—brought a refreshing sense of liberation. It severed the chains in his heart.

Jaxon had a technique that he only used when someone was watching or when he wasn’t allowed to kill his opponent.

"Why did I even follow that rule?"